Jordan Knight Removes Last Remaining Hopes of Legitimacy - 
by J-Unit
This latest incarnation of The Surreal Life has the house guests going through some interesting activities. While they aren't exactly at the level of The Apprentice or Amazing Race, the producers have kept it enjoyable and haven't asked too much of our little group of musicians. Unfortunately, when it came time to choose who was going to produce their first single, they chose perhaps the least talented musician in the house and one five years removed from any quest at the pop charts. As many of us watched the train wreck more formally called "Jordan Knight Attempts Producing a Hit Single" we all wondered just how badly it would sound. It turned out worse than almost anybody could have imagined, but it should be enough to keep any more Jordan Knight musical efforts away from human consumption for at least another five years.
On the last episode, we had a cliffhanger of Ryan Starr storming off to the bathroom. To her defense, Jordan was in the midst of making a horrible musical collaboration. He wasn't listening to anybody besides Flavor Flav and was producing a track that would have sounded old in 1999. The killer for Ryan, however, was the song was R&B, and she maintained that she was strictly a rock singer and that it felt like she was going through an American Idol experience all over again. For the most part, she is right. She is, after all, getting a lot more free publicity an exposure than she could have imagined to have received on her own. Still, Ryan thinks that singing on this track will ruin her career, when in fact it is her bitchy attitude and "I'm too hot for this" demeanor that is going to do her in.
Nevertheless, she is a talented vocalist and she was going to have to perform for this song to have any chance of sounding halfway decent. Brigitte Nielsen showed up at the bathroom door first, seemingly with the intent on talking Ryan out of there. She knocked a couple of times and was very sweet. Ryan, who was clearly trying to get some more attention focused on her after Jordan had soaked it up, kept the door locked and said she wasn't coming out. Then the sequence changed course and we learned that Brigitte really only wanted to pee. She them slammed on the door angrily, and was about to walk away when Ryan unlocked the door and let her in. While Ryan sobbed, Brigitte Nielsen told her to be strong and go out there and do it, presumably but not before letting Ryan know she had almost pissed herself. After that inspiring pep talk, Ryan left the bathroom and put on a brave face for the rest of the session.
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