The trailers for this week's Surreal Life 6 episode promised excitement and conflict. Heck, after the first few shows, I was downright giddy for some crazy hijinks. Conversely, the trailers also showed a sleeping Sherman Hemsley. Sigh, when a show advertises that it puts one of it's leading cast members to sleep, imagine what it's doing to us viewers?
Yeah. "Imagine...” I suppose that's what 95% of you must do because honestly, who's actually watching this season? It's really a shame, too, because I was such a believer in the show. I absolutely loved Seasons 1, and 2, and rather enjoyed 4. I never got into 3, but it spawned Flavor of Love, so I guess it was alright. (It also had that NKOTB kid on it, Jordan, who has apparently walked off the set of the "Surreal Life All-Stars" filming now.) And it's no secret I hated 5, but I figured the show would return to its roots this go-round.
This episode was the first to attempt to do just that - the carnage after the jump.
We were first reminded of the jaw-dropping cliffhanger from last week: The gang was about to do a live news broadcast at the San Luis Obispo NBC affiliate! OH MY GOD! That was right up there with the great cliffhangers of television history - Who shot JR, who shot Agent Cooper, who shot all the funny writers on SNL and will they ever be replaced?
All the on-air personalities were totally freaking out about the prospect of live television. CC was pacing around like a junkie alcoholic in need of a fix - er, wait. That's exactly what he is... Except now he was about to do a live sportscast. Alexis Arquette was nervous as he was about to executively produce the whole shebang. Tawny was shaking with nerves, Andrea was trying to relax herself, Mrs. Brady was praying, and George Jefferson was... Sleeping?
This actually struck me as somewhat sad. This poor guy was The Man on a hit 70's sitcom and has hopefully lived a decent life off of that show alone. I doubt he even has an agent anymore so I'm guessing someone from "The Surreal Life" bumped into him down at All You Can Eat night at the Hometown Buffet and asked him to join the cast. Thus far, all he has done is eat and sleep and mumble a few lines here and there.
And now he was being asked to actually do something for the first time - a live weather report in front of a green screen. He got his craft services meal and now a nap in the control room, so I was positive he'd do fine. Just as fine as Carol Brady; Mrs. Brady appeared as though she'd done this before, as she handled the co-anchor position with all the skill and grace you'd expect from a woman who merely smiled when her wedding day was ruined by the dog chasing the cat all over the place, knocking over the cake in the process. And then going on to have a happy marriage to a gay dude and not complaining once.
Tawny Kitaen is no Carol Brady. (More of a Cindy Brady, I'd say.) She was all nerves as Carol "threw" the show to her out in the field. By this point, it became apparent that San Luis Obispo is not exactly the most interesting town, as the "news" consists entirely of fluff pieces. Tawny introduced her recorded bit on the town's stolen weathervane and she did fine. We saw a quick glimpse of a very handsome black man in a tailored suit encouraging the video vixen on. After the recorded bit ended, Mrs. Brady got crazy and asked Tawny a question off-the-cuff.
"The original weathervane was a few thousand dollars - how much is that one there that 'The Surreal Life' cast has donated?" What an odd, bitchy, passive aggressive question! The replacement vane was a Christmas Tree Shoppe piece of crap and Brady knew it - but it was still fun to see Tawny fall apart. "Errrr, ahhh, ummmm, the, um, weather... Um, vane here... Is... To put a number on it would, um, errr, ahhh, about ... Ah, 300 dollars, yes." Not quite a typical "Surreal Life" meltdown, but we'll take what we can get this season.
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Comments (13)
Man, has this show gone downhill! It keeps getting worse and worse, and yet I still tune in every week. Damn you VH1! Great recap sg-dub.
1 of 13 | Posted by Pie
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Posted on April 11, 2006 5:32 PM
Um...CC still is the guitarist for Poison...they are actually touring this year. He's the only reason why I am watching this show. (Can you tell I am a hair band fan??)
2 of 13 | Posted by jenny10girl
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Posted on April 12, 2006 4:53 AM
PS CC actually stands for Cadillac Coupe...get it? Cadillac Coupe DeVille...cute huh...? Sad that I know these things.
3 of 13 | Posted by jenny10girl
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Posted on April 12, 2006 5:16 AM
Whenever I read these recaps, I have to pause over every name to try to remember who the person is. That's not a good sign.
The frat boys were just doing what frat boys always do when they're drunk and in groups -- providing loud, unwelcome commentary, as any woman knows. While they shouldn't have told him to leave, saying that Alexis has a penis is completely true and shouldn't raise his ire if he's really as content with himself as he continually claims to be.
4 of 13 | Posted by holyterror
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Posted on April 12, 2006 6:41 AM
Alexis acts like a lady.
5 of 13 | Posted by ClariceStarling
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Posted on April 12, 2006 7:36 AM
For an unbelevable ugly tranny, Alexis sure has a short temper. I mean what did he expect? He's an ugly guy made eeven uglier in womens clothing. He even had a thong showing for gods sake. SO when people actually stare at him why should he act surprised or hurt?
Andrea just went up a few notches in my book now that I know once she gets a few in her she strats showing her boobs to people in bars. I wonder if Alexis still thinks his fake boobs and tucked in penis is still good "competition" for her.
Sherman helsmey just can't wait to go home.
And whoever cast recovering alcoholics on the show should be fired. so instesad of mini me peeing in a corner we get a 2 minute confessional from CC about how much his life has changed now that he's clean. Boooring.
They should have pciedk the Savage. THeyre are just too closed minded about skidmarks.
6 of 13 | Posted by EdHill
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Posted on April 12, 2006 8:01 AM
Thanks for the recap, sg-dub. The Surreal Life weathervane was actually $10. Or so Tawny said. And then Carol Brady said "I'll give you guys $20". How sad that I still remember that.
I think I'm done with this season. I really want to tough it out but, damn it, it's so boring!! I find myself caring about freaking 'Hogan Knows Best' more than this show. Very tragic, I know!
7 of 13 | Posted by stacyrocks
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Posted on April 12, 2006 9:45 AM
I'll suggest a line up: Tonya Harding, Paula Jones (they can revisit their boxing match), Pee Wee Herman, David Cassidy (bitterness and has-beenism personified), William Buckley, Oliver North, and George Lazenby (the first, bitter, James Bond).
8 of 13 | Posted by holyterror
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Posted on April 12, 2006 10:44 AM
EdHill, maybe Alexis acts surprised and hurt when people stare at her because she's a human being. Nobody likes being stared at, whispered about, or made fun of. And decent human beings understand that. Yeah, I know, I'm reading recaps that make fun of people. It's one thing to make fun of people on a little website on the vast internet, another thing entirely to do it to their face.
9 of 13 | Posted by zevonia
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Posted on April 12, 2006 12:05 PM
Isn't Hometown Buffet or every buffet for that fact, all you can eat? Yeah this season sucks unless Mr. Smashmouth and C.C decide to jump off the band wagon or Tawny and Sherman hook up. I know it would be gross but hilarious!
10 of 13 | Posted by ILuvOSUBux
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Posted on April 12, 2006 12:52 PM
i think Maven is totally BI curious and he needs to just giveup the front. he is a little tooooo interested i Alexis. Other than that this Surreal life is turning out to be so boring, and Tawny is FUUUUGLLLY
11 of 13 | Posted by sugar bear1
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Posted on April 13, 2006 10:33 AM
zevonia, I love what you wrote. I completely agree. And we don't know how long the hootin', hollerin',name callin' went on either so maybe Alexis laughed it off after the first few times but by all night she'd had enough.
jenny10girl - thanks, I was a Poison fan back in the day and all these years never knew what C.C. stood for.
12 of 13 | Posted by MrsC
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Posted on April 13, 2006 11:26 AM
A few observations I will make (cause no one I know is actually watching this boring season).
I was very impressed with Andrea's live shot. She done good!
Why would Carol Brady offer to give the cast $20 for a $10 "water" vane? That makes no sense.
And I want to know more about that guy Alexis kissed... Where'd he come from?
13 of 13 | Posted by IHeartTV
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Posted on April 14, 2006 6:22 AM