The day began with CC Deville playing his guitar through a small amplifier early in the morning. Oh, I get it - you don't drink anymore so you now take pleasure in waking up at the crack of dawn and playing "Alarm Clock" for the drinkers who may have hangovers. Nice. After Jimi Hendrix turned over in his grave, we were treated to several scenes of the housemates waking up and stretching. Yawn. (No, really, they showed some good yawn footage.)

The impromptu guitar solo really pissed everyone off, but no one more than Alexis Arquette, of the Family Arquette. He was already upset about something, so the noise only drove him over the edge. His complaints were what you'd expect from an emotionally stunted 4th grader - or, perhaps, a tranny with bad stubble. Alexis was talking to his roommate from home saying, "I'm really pissed. Everyone here thinks they're so open minded but when we filmed the video yesterday, I was in the back of every scene." Susan B. Anthony, Rosa Parks... Alexis Arquette.

What a douche bag - did he forget that 12 hours earlier he gave a straight man a lap dance and then proceeded to lick whipped cream from his crotch - all to approving laughter? Or that everyone in the house appears to go along with his absurd charade without uttering anything offensive?

The "Surreal Times" paper was delivered and the gang prepared for a road trip to San Luis Obispo. They were headed to KSBY to do something with the local newscast. It didn't describe exactly what they would be doing, but everyone seemed pretty excited about the excursion. Knowing nothing about San Luis Obispo or KSBY, I checked out their website. KSBY is the local NBC affiliate (which shocked me) and two on-air personalities stand out. Hey, Sheri Small - do you always wear giant ribbons from condolence bouquets as brooches? And you, Daphne, is your unfortunate last name a product of birth or marriage? Cause I'd be thinking about changing that if I were you. That - or hitting the gym.