So this is it. It's the end of the road for this season of The Surreal Life Fame Games. There have been some highs and some lows. Well, I'm sure there have been some lows, like any of the times Vanilla Ice went crazy and threatened to leave, or any of the times that Verne Troyer said he was going to leave, or any of Ron Jeremy's various bad dick jokes. Who really knows if there have been any highs? I guess you could consider the season coming to an end a high? But anyways, it's all come down to this. With only four guests remaining in house, $100,000 up for grabs, and tension so thick you can cut it with a knife (or maybe that's Ron Jeremy's stench), this is the finale of the first ever Surreal Life Fame Games. Thank God.
What won't she put on her head?
This week the show begins with Traci telling us that, in honor of Verne, she slept in the bed next to where he was sleeping when he was in the house. I'm not sure how that was in honor of him, but I guess it's a nice gesture or something. She said she wanted to feel close to him, even though he wasn't there. Then we see her wearing that giant foam cowboy hat, because she wanted to feel close to it, even though it WAS there.
In case you've forgotten, we're down to the Final Four, and I'm pretty sure this show is the reason that term was coined for this time of year. I think it's the only important thing going on right now.
Well Robin is in the house today, and as everyone gathers, he tells them he's giving them some GPS system from Garmin, and he basically rattled off all of the information about it like he was doing some sort of commercial. It turns out that that's what this week's challenge is: hawk some shit! Actually, everyone gets a similar script (just to begin with, they can modify it) and they have to make a 30-second commercial for GoldenPalace.net. They get an hour to practice, and then once filming starts, they only have 15 minutes to get a good enough take. Once they finish all that, a focus group will decide who the winner is. But in reality, everyone is the focus group loses.
Lame hat count - 1
Then we see everyone practicing. Traci, relying on her polished acting skills, brings out a couple of different hats because she doesn't know what to do. Ron, on the other hand, gets his down in no time, which doesn't surprise him because he's never needed cue cards. He sometimes needs stage direction (stand here, do her), but never cue cards. Pepa said she had to give herself a "pep" talk. She's very clever. And finally, Rob rewrote his, and there was absolutely nothing interesting about it.
Lame hat count - 2
Now we get to see everyone's takes. These were also pretty uninteresting. Rob actually wrote too much, but because his flow is sick, he managed to spit it all out in 30 seconds. Then it was Ron's turn, and because he memorized his lines, he was probably feeling pretty confident. But a woman from Standards and Practices told him he needed to say that he won money in a casino, not on GoldenPalace.net. I could probably link to that, but I won't. Anyways, changing those two words completely screwed Ron up, so we knew he wouldn't be winning. Then we saw Traci's boobs looking great (she might have made a commercial or something, I can't remember) and Pep wasn't too confident about how hers turned out.
After everyone finished, the group went to watch how the focus group was going to transpire. My favorite part of the focus group was picking which person represented which key demographic.
First up was Rob, and he got pretty good reviews, including being called "hot," "hip," "now," and they said he had good energy. Hip and now are not adjectives that have been used to describe Vanilla Ice since the very early 90's. Sure they came from the woman representing the octogenarian demographic, who may in fact have thought she was in the early 90's, but that shouldn't diminish the job he did.
She's still got it. By "it" I mean syphilis.
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Comments (7)
Rob obviously went over the deep end in this episode. I understand that he felt betrayed. But, he shouldn't have put too much faith in Ron seeing how it is a competition. And he also didn't need to react like a loon. Besides, it's just a game. He'll make more than $100,000 anyway with that new CD he's putting out....YEAH RIGHT! Actually, maybe Rob was so mad because some of that $100,000 would have kept his electricity on next month.
Also, between her & Ron, Traci deserved to win. Ron looked like a hobo at that final challenge. What was he thinking?
1 of 7 | Posted by hollabackboy
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Posted on March 27, 2007 12:51 PM
couldn't we all have saved those 11 hours (or however long this horrible show was) by just flashing the "top 10 google searches" right when they got in the house? isn't that a pretty good indicator of fame? i don't know, just sayin. jesus, that show was horrible.
2 of 7 | Posted by Shelby Olive | Posted on March 27, 2007 1:28 PM
Great recap of a horrible show. Why did I watch that crap? Better yet - why did I then watch the marathon of that crap all over again?
I think I need help.
I hope Traci uses the money to buy a better weave so she can stop with the damned combover.
3 of 7 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie | Posted on March 27, 2007 2:53 PM
So thrilled that Traci won and not that fat windbag Ron Jeremy! Agreed with the poster above, Miss Bingham does need a new weave, or at least that rat's nest cleaned.
I think Mr. Ice wants his own reality show on VH1...you laugh now, but I bet its in the works.....
I just didn't want Andrea Blowhole to win.
KH
4 of 7 | Posted by katieshole | Posted on March 27, 2007 3:40 PM
It was clear that Robin Leach was trying to help Peppa on her last chance at the google game. He was like "PEPPA, you really need this next answer PEPPA. If you don't PEPPA, then you will go home PEPPA PEPPA PEPPA." And then... she lost.
BACKSTABBER!!!
5 of 7 | Posted by g3
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Posted on March 27, 2007 6:37 PM
Traci is a delusional hypocrite. She kept bitching and moaning the entire game, then in the end she was all high and mighty. Also, she really thinks she's an A-list star!
I really hate Vanilla Ice. He should have followed through on one of his numerous threats and gone home. And, he's plain nuts, which I'm sure he mistakes for being interesting.
He would have done the exact same thing to Ron, had he been in the same position. (pun intended)It's a competition, for crying out loud.
6 of 7 | Posted by Veronica DeBellegarde | Posted on March 28, 2007 6:42 AM
^
Hey Anonymous,
It made me laugh out loud to read your post. I live near Fort Myers, Florida and Robert Van Winkle is indeed our local weather man. And he really does do that sign language thing every night. He did kick ass during Hurricane Charley, going against the opinion of the National Weather Service to tell us that he thought the hurricane was turning toward us. He was right. Love that guy!
7 of 7 | Posted by Pamsey
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Posted on March 29, 2007 12:01 PM