The last time we saw the crew from Surreal Life Fame Games, the B-listers lost Brigitte in the Back to Reality competition. Technically, Verne lost the competition, but Brigitte said she wanted to leave, and I have to assume that even the producers of the show were sick of her complaining and constantly threatening to leave, so they gladly obliged her. Brigitte probably would have pulled the same thing had Chyna Doll won, so really it made absolutely no sense for her to even try to get the correct answers in the competition. But, as we've learned before, Brigitte and sense are like oil and water; they don't mix.
This week starts off with sans Brigitte and everyone gets a message from Robin Leach. He tells the cast that everyone gets some R & R. The A-listers will be getting to leave the house today, but the B-listers will have to stay put. At this point Ron makes some vaguely insulting comment about CC, and it appears that everyone is starting to get annoyed with his Dane-Cook-like jokes. At least their like Dane Cook in the way that their not funny. Ron actually has more personality.
The A-listers end up going to Canyon Ranch Spa Club, and as they walk in, Ron makes his first "happy ending" joke. Then he makes it again while everyone is eating. Immediately after the second 'happy ending' joke, he makes a 'facial' joke. Oh, the porn star is using double entendres. How original.
Back at the house, the B-listers are visited by Malena, a tonal masseuse and a Surreal Life veteran (she was on season 4). She uses sound therapy to give people their massages. Now, I admit that I am very closed-minded when it comes to new-age healing. However, if you actually believe in tonal massages, you are a crazy person. And I personally believe Malena is 100% crazy. But I digress.
Andrea is getting a non-tonal massage, and while doing so, Ron is making more sex jokes. Then there's another facial joke. And frankly, everyone is getting sick of them. Back home Andrea is complaining to Traci and they're both tired of Ron's unfunny jokes and hearing them 80 times a day. Now, I'm all for dirty, immature, sophomoric humor, but you've gotta mix it up a little bit. You can't underestimate the humor in the word "wiener."
Everyone gets a message from Adrianne Curry (Brady?) that sushi and sake will be on her, and there is a flashback to when sushi was literally on her back in season 4. Well, everyone is expecting the same thing. While everyone is waiting around for Adrianne and Christopher to show up, Ron is on the phone with his girlfriend, Juniper, recanting his delightfully witty jokes to her from earlier during the spa trip. Andrea begins complaining about his jokes again to Pepa and Verne. And, in what may be my biggest surprise this season, Andrea actually used the word "loquacious." I'm not gonna lie, I had to look it up.
Finally, Chris and Adrianne show up for dinner, and Andrea is glad that she gets to listen to someone other than Ron talk for a while. Unfortunately for everyone, they're not actually eating sushi off of Adrianne. Instead, there is a struggling actor and actress who were hired to have sushi put on them and eaten off by pseudo-celebrities. The American dream.
Well, Ron Jeremy and scantily clad women never mix well, so queue up the dirty jokes. Even Chris notices that Ron's jokes are bombing and says, "You're selling it really hard Ron," perhaps not even realizing his own double entendre. It seems like it's kind of a tense dinner, and everyone, even the guests, seem to notice it, except for Ron.
After Chris and Adrianne leave, everyone went to bed except for Chyna Doll and Traci. Traci takes at least three bottles of sake back to their bedroom. She pours a shot into the mouth of a rubber chicken and then drinks it out of the chicken's mouth, calling it a rubber chicken shot. They somehow "made a play" out of it. Basically it was them using really bad Asian accents, saying "Action" and then taking a rubber chicken shot. It was Chyna Doll's best acting displayed since Illegal Aliens with the late Anna Nicole. I don't know if you caught Chyna Doll on Larry King the other night, but she was looking damn fine, and in no way overweight.
Comments (2)
I think I learned "loquacious" in 8th or 9th grade and use it somewhat regularly (about 5x/year) today.
There was a time when recaps here would use that word and not even think about it.
I hate Ron Jeremy.
1 of 2 | Posted by LongHairedMan![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 14, 2007 7:01 PM
I need to get a rubber chicken.
KH
2 of 2 | Posted by KatiesHole![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/nav-commenters.gif)
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Posted on February 16, 2007 4:24 PM