Before I begin my bitter barrating of VH1's Surreal Life cast, I would just like to take a personal moment to give big ups to Dave Coulier. There is nothing wrong with this man. He comes off as a stand-up guy (pun not intended). I have been a huge fan (term used loosely) of his since a little show in the 80's OUT OF CONTROL, which when I was 6 in 1984 was all the must see TV I needed. After a long hiatus from TV he is a welcome addition back into my prime time.

Editors Note - The above mentioned fanatacism over Dave Coulier, was not intended to sound half as gay as it ultimately did. If you felt as uncomfortable as I, please level yourself off here before continuing with the article.

Its been a while since Joey Fatone graced the screen in BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING, or Joey McIntyre taught the children of BOSTON PUBLIC. I it is time to be exposed to another former boy band member who just doesn't get it. Thankfully Craig Burk of Evolution Talent Agency (who reps such musical icons as LFO, ACE OF BASE, LOU BEGA, AARON CARTER, B*Witched the list goes yawn..on, the list goes on) agrees and decided it was time to allow his client NKOTB's very own Jordon Knight to make his television return.

What took him so long? Jordan Knight is charismatic, funny, charming. Why, he’s TV GOLD! Here’s one doozy from the pilot episode, he moves into the backroom, puts his luggage in the doorway, and takes a nap not talking to anyone!!! MY GOODNESS!! WHAT WONT HE DO!? That Nut!

What would the house be without the young obligatory vixen like , bitchy, alcoholic slut? (Season one, Jerri. Season two, Trishelle.) Well, based on her punk rock fashion during the 1st season of American Idol, I’m sure that’s exactly what the Producers thought they were getting when they brought on Ryan Starr.

Much to their chagrin it turns out Ryan is not a drinker. She mimed a glass of wine when the guests all did a house toast. She doesn’t cuss. What an F'ing shame. And she doesn’t have sex…at all…yet. Though they will never admit it, you know someone in casting got fired for that. Damn decent, sweet smoking hot chicks, they make lousy TV.

So far, this isn’t turning out to be the event programming one would hope for. Nice comic, sleeping NKOTB kid, virgin rock star? Don’t worry there are enough whack jobs to go around.