My aforementioned encounter with the popo? I have to admit, it didn't really happen. For any of you readers who didn't catch this episode on tv, it actually happened on the show, but I call a hoax. I'm guessing these were two parking PA's they rented cop suits out for and blurred their faces for effect. Would any cop on an ego trip put up with Jay yelling like an asshole and telling people to "keep partying?" Cause that happened. Or what about, if the rest of the party started to boo the cops there? Cause that happened too. What about if Tila tried to "Nguyen Negotiate with a happy ending" on the cops to leave the party alone? Yup, happened. Or, better yet, with cameras around, to rip up the ticket you just got from the cops for being a dumbass? You get the picture. What does this tell us about the message this show's giving out? Well, if you're a 13 year old dumbass watching at home who thinks these people are "adults," do everything the opposite of what people on this show are doing.
Or You'll have someone like this guy following you around all day when you're doing 5 to 10.
As everyone gets ready for bed after a wild night of partying, Chad does a full pull-your-knees-to-your-shoulders fart that grosses everyone out, but makes me crack up. Everyone wakes up with a raging hangover, either from the heavy drinking or Chad's flatulence - both can be rough on the body. Christian, however, knows the first good rule to cure a raging hangover - keep drinking! He says that's how the do it in his country, and by country, he means the 24 hour Shell Mart near his barrio.
Cholo.
Tila arranges a "recovery room" with food, drinks and an oxygen bar. The oxygen gets to George's head, and we realize why he seeks so much attention through his male stripping - he starts sobbing about how it's his mom's birthday and she died when he was 10. I wish I were just being cynical, but he totally knew he was going to use this at some point or another - it's not like he forgot and then suddenly remembered while he was there. Although, this is George were talking about here.
"I'm sorry. I don't usually cry unless I'm working out or looking in the mirror."
Chad, our favorite contestant so far, is ready to cause trouble once more and teams up with bitchtits Jay to start a food fight. They start tossing lots of shit around, and Samantha, wanting to suck up a little bit, tells everyone to chill the eff out and clean the place up. Scotty the Tennis Coach, wants her to pipe down, so he pours a couple of protein shakes on her, but she doesn't get the joke. She gets crazy stripper on his ass, and tosses some pasta or something on his face, smacking him with the container. She seemed so sweet until now, and I'm guessing the meth withdrawal must be kicking in.
"It itches."
The house's next game is called "BI My Love", where one guy and one girl get into one of those windbooths where they have to try to grab either pink or blue dollars. The top three people with the most bucks at the end wins. "V", Fame, and Brittany end up winning. They have a hot tub date, and Tila has them all do "impersations" of her. They're all pretty stupid, but Brittany's is the least offensive and Tila for some reason, thinks this is funny.
Hirarious.
Tila and Britany go into a completely transparent curtained off area, and start to get busy. Fame, however, picked up something from creepy Kyle, and barges in on the romance. Fame sings some bullshit off of fergie's sister's brother's scrap heap, and everyone gets uncomfortable. Tila says she "doesn't know how much fame she's getting with that talent." During elimination, Tila tells Fame that "this is not American Idol", so she's out. Fame is upset at the insult and says, "It sounded like something I'd write in my journal!" They require written journals of all patients at Spring Hill Psychiatric Center, so she's telling the truth. Tila then says that Christian "sure likes to party", but waking up in your lover's vomit/the Caracas way isn't for her, and he's out as well.
Everyone tries to get a good night's sleep. To avoid the fumes of Chad's flatulence, or what I've now dubbed "The Chad", people have resorted to wearing protective eyewear to bed. Either that or one of the girls got too fucked up last night and has a serious case of the glass eye.
Anyone got any visine?
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Comments (7)
Is anyone out there besides me really hating this group of contestants? I especially hate that everytime they do their one on one interviews, something insanely cliche and obvious always comes out of their mouths. For example, during a competition, some random douchebag or slut will say "I'm just trying to win this." Are you now? Because to be honest, I think most people while playing a game would try to LOSE!
And I hate Chad. I think he just might be the archetype of the date rapist.
1 of 7 | Posted by Philemon | Posted on May 13, 2008 8:53 AM
I agree with both points above - that the contestants say predictable stuff and that Chad is the archetype of a date rapist - that being said, Chad is one of the few who doesn't just deliver lame sound bites, and until he does something that's just plain wrong, as opposed to simply obnoxious, I'm kind of enjoying him on this show.
Really interested to see what Bo says that makes him flip out and crack him in the face next week. Because, let's be honest, Bo kinda is a douchebag and probably deserves a good punch in the face. Matter of fact, I'd say he gives Chad some pretty good competition in the date-rapist-archetype dept.
2 of 7 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on May 13, 2008 10:30 AM
Hmm ... I can't decide which might be worse, a weekend in the clink or being forced to watch this show on repetition.
Totally agree, the contestants definitely seem to be on "reading cue card of cliche reality show one liners" ... but ... I will totally tune in to see what the fight is all about.
Great recap!
3 of 7 | Posted by mhechtua | Posted on May 13, 2008 1:30 PM
Wow...a two-fer.
I think the The Chad character is one of the most hateful I've seen on these shows--not that I'm blaming the actor portraying him/it. I blame the producers for being such idiots for inventing this moron. Clearly they're marketing the show to 13-year-olds.
And I do love how cheap the 'dates' are on this show. Five minutes on a couch is a date? They don't even make bother to make an effort to pretend anymore.
4 of 7 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 13, 2008 2:39 PM
Five minutes on a couch might be all it takes...
5 of 7 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on May 13, 2008 3:49 PM
You know, HayHor, I was so busy with my rant that I forgot to thank you for capping two episodes extremely well. I only read recaps of a few shows here, but it seems that when a recapper misses writing about an episode, he or she will start off with an apology and then write something like "Previously: stuff happened. I forgot to write about it. Get over it." To have a recapper who does not do that is kind of rare. So thanks for providing a double-dose of your humor!
And I can see what you mean about Chad kind of being the only distinct character on the show as of now. But, you know, I think their is a difference between being distinct and being vile. That guy is simply vile, in my opinion, and no amount of distinction can change that.
And as far as this show being marketed to 13 year olds, itchy, my only response is "Good God, I hope that's not the case." I think this is wonderful trash TV, but could possibly be dangerous with an impressionable viewer.
6 of 7 | Posted by Philemon307 | Posted on May 13, 2008 9:50 PM
Thanks for the love Philemon.
Did anyone watch last night? Check for the next recap soon - Chad has gone from one of my favorites to worst person on reality television ever?
Although Bo's kind of a douchebag too. Anyways, you'll see what I mean soon.
Until then, Gasmii.
7 of 7 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on May 14, 2008 10:36 AM