After the dramz, it's the guys turn for their en masse date, and it's "prom night". Basically, it gives Chad an excuse to wear a bowtie with no shirt - like he needed one anyway. Tila takes a bunch of prom pictures, and there's one in particular that, my guess, most accurately reflects a prom-aged Ms. Tila Tequila.
Seems like old times.
During the date we get to listen in on Tila and Jay's date, as he offers some insight into his hormonally challenged brain. "Some girls like a badass. And there's nothing wrong with being a badass cause if you don't show your badass side, people need to see what you're all about, knowwhatimean?"
No one outside of Secacus knows what you mean.
Tila then spends some time with Ryan, who she made out with right away, from the first episode. Now, however, Ryan doesn't seem to be that into Tila. He says that she's a cutie, and barely tries kissing her. He's totally passive agressively trying to get her to break up with him by getting her not to like him as much, and I totally get those tactics. Who hasn't done that at least once before?
"So, you into animal porn?"
Tila then goes to talk to Bo next and while he's about to throw some cheesy/terrible game that will probably work, Chad and Jay are heckling him. Bo tries to ignore it, but ends up looking like a really annoyed hairdresser - I think the bright yellow shirt with the frills and well manicured body hair have something to do with it.
Or perhaps the fact that he just looks really really gay.
Meanwhile Samantha/"Glitter" are still crying about god knows what. She's been whiny all day and the next challenge is going to be a big problem for her. Tila introduces something that she calls her "latest invention, the Conveyer Belch." A quick aside - Is anyone as in love as I am with the idea that Tila is in a laboratory, coming up with new inventions all the time, like a super-fast nail dryer, or a machine that sews hooker dresses with the press of a button! Going back to the invention, the machine churns out shots of everything you'd find in your condiments aisle. Whoever between the guys and girls takes the most shots at the end of a few minutes won time with Tila. Let's just say, this house doesn't exactly have the strongest group of stomachs.
"Give me a minute..."
Basically, everyone pukes. As hard as it is to believe, literally everyone pukes. It's like this odd orchestra of "blechs" and "yaks". But Tila didn't seemed fazed by it - matter of fact, she called out Jay for being too much of a little bitch and puking after every shot. I get a kick out of it mostly because if Jay wasn't throwing up he most surely would've been making fun of everyone else who was. After an orgy of vomit is left all over the floor, the girls end up beating the guys by taking 68 total shots to 64 total shots. Chad says that the guys "are putting the male race to shame, here." All while wearing, well, this:
Take the Chad seriously.
Tila really wants the girls to prove their love whatever it costs, even if it's their dignity. After gathering them all together following their big win at the conveyer belch, Tila announces, with tremendous zeal, that they'll now be eating pig's vaginas. Some of the girls freak out about what a big deal it is while others see an opportunity to pounce.
I've got this in the bag. I've hooked up with plenty of fat chicks.
The first girl to eat porcine vagina gets a date with Tila and has to pick one of the guys to go on the date with them. Samantha, of course, cries and cries and doesn't even try to eat it. It comes down to Lauren, Lisa, and Sirbrina, and like all good butches, Lisa finishes off the pig's vagina first.
Pride.
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Comments (7)
Is anyone out there besides me really hating this group of contestants? I especially hate that everytime they do their one on one interviews, something insanely cliche and obvious always comes out of their mouths. For example, during a competition, some random douchebag or slut will say "I'm just trying to win this." Are you now? Because to be honest, I think most people while playing a game would try to LOSE!
And I hate Chad. I think he just might be the archetype of the date rapist.
1 of 7 | Posted by Philemon | Posted on May 13, 2008 8:53 AM
I agree with both points above - that the contestants say predictable stuff and that Chad is the archetype of a date rapist - that being said, Chad is one of the few who doesn't just deliver lame sound bites, and until he does something that's just plain wrong, as opposed to simply obnoxious, I'm kind of enjoying him on this show.
Really interested to see what Bo says that makes him flip out and crack him in the face next week. Because, let's be honest, Bo kinda is a douchebag and probably deserves a good punch in the face. Matter of fact, I'd say he gives Chad some pretty good competition in the date-rapist-archetype dept.
2 of 7 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on May 13, 2008 10:30 AM
Hmm ... I can't decide which might be worse, a weekend in the clink or being forced to watch this show on repetition.
Totally agree, the contestants definitely seem to be on "reading cue card of cliche reality show one liners" ... but ... I will totally tune in to see what the fight is all about.
Great recap!
3 of 7 | Posted by mhechtua | Posted on May 13, 2008 1:30 PM
Wow...a two-fer.
I think the The Chad character is one of the most hateful I've seen on these shows--not that I'm blaming the actor portraying him/it. I blame the producers for being such idiots for inventing this moron. Clearly they're marketing the show to 13-year-olds.
And I do love how cheap the 'dates' are on this show. Five minutes on a couch is a date? They don't even make bother to make an effort to pretend anymore.
4 of 7 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 13, 2008 2:39 PM
Five minutes on a couch might be all it takes...
5 of 7 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on May 13, 2008 3:49 PM
You know, HayHor, I was so busy with my rant that I forgot to thank you for capping two episodes extremely well. I only read recaps of a few shows here, but it seems that when a recapper misses writing about an episode, he or she will start off with an apology and then write something like "Previously: stuff happened. I forgot to write about it. Get over it." To have a recapper who does not do that is kind of rare. So thanks for providing a double-dose of your humor!
And I can see what you mean about Chad kind of being the only distinct character on the show as of now. But, you know, I think their is a difference between being distinct and being vile. That guy is simply vile, in my opinion, and no amount of distinction can change that.
And as far as this show being marketed to 13 year olds, itchy, my only response is "Good God, I hope that's not the case." I think this is wonderful trash TV, but could possibly be dangerous with an impressionable viewer.
6 of 7 | Posted by Philemon307 | Posted on May 13, 2008 9:50 PM
Thanks for the love Philemon.
Did anyone watch last night? Check for the next recap soon - Chad has gone from one of my favorites to worst person on reality television ever?
Although Bo's kind of a douchebag too. Anyways, you'll see what I mean soon.
Until then, Gasmii.
7 of 7 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on May 14, 2008 10:36 AM