Chad goes off to the kitchen and tells Jay that he feels like "hitting something," while Jay laughs nervously hoping his ass doesn't get kicked by his master. Chad's says that he really likes Tila but he's starting to think this isn't worth it. And that, my friends, is a dangerous person. One who doesn't give a shit whether or not he gets kicked off of the show. Anyways, enough with the psychoanalyzation of The Chad - on with the retarded games on this show.
How could we forget?
This week, Tila's having her "Backyard Bi-nanza", which officially means an ex-adult film writer is producing this shit. Looks like Tila convinced her friends at the local Coyote Ugly to donate some mechanical bulls for the day, or as I like to call them, drunk-girl-boob-shakers. For the first challenge, Tila has divided the house up into two teams - Team Yellow (George, Jay, Samantha, Sirbrina, Michelle, and Scotty) and Team Green (Chad, Lisa, Bo, Kristy, Brittany and Kyle). One player from each team goes one on one and a point is awarded to the team that wins the mechanical-bull-off. The Team with the most points wins a date with Tila and her assless chaps.
I just googled image searched Tila Tequila and saw a lot more than that.
Chad and George face off first, and Chad wins because he says that he's "the one who's used to doing the bucking." George wins since he's a lot more used to being a bottom. Sam and Bo face off and Sam loses immediately, saying "I've ridden other things, but not the mechanical bull." We get it. You're a stripper. You fuck lots of people and may/may not get paid for doing it.
Now go find a husband before you get ugly and can't shake your titties no more.
Michelle faces off against Kristy and can't handle the dizziness. She loses and is followed by Lisa and Jay. Chad notes that Lisa's "wide ass couldn't even get up on the bull, and I'm sure she's rode a few in her day." That doesn't make sense considering Lisa's the biggest bull dyke left on this show, so Chad, once again, you're a soulles idiot. Nonetheless, Lisa loses to chad's man-servant, Jay.
"I win this challenge for you, my lord, the Chad."
Brittany goes up against Sirbrina, and is intimdated. After all, the description of Sirbrina on MTV's web site notes that "As a professional mechanical bull rider, sweet and sultry Sirbrina knows how to rope herself a good woman." Sirbrina wins despite the terrible puns MTV has bestowed upon her, and it comes down to Kyle and Scotty. Scotty is on the yellow team, who is up 3-2 and Kyle can tie it with a win. Unfortunately for Kyle, Scotty pulls out the win, and Kyle rips off his shirt in anger. Then he trips off of the inflated thing while acting all pissed, cementing his status as king of the douchebags.
"Who put that there?"
Tila goes out on her date with the Yellow team and the producers set up a western theme room, complete with Most Wanted pictures of Tila and a spitoon. They also really take the authenticity an extra level, when they decide to add a prostitute from western times - I believe most prostitutes back then would have had poor dental health and a nasty number of venerial diseases, so they really nailed it on accuracy.
Oh wait, that's just Samantha.
Meanwhile, while the saloon date was going on, Tila assigned the losing team to whip her up some Chili. Bo decides to really take some initative and take charge on the chili making, and hey I can see where he's coming from. But have any of you out there ever worked a food service or retail job where your manager was constantly looking over your shoulder? Bo kinda acts like that only more annoying. I worked at a smoothie place once and had a boss like that. When he wasn't looking I'd still luna bars. I know they're for chicks, but damn those s'mores ones are delicious.
You don't have to be a chick to enjoy these, I'm telling you.
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Comments (10)
Sucks that Chad will be going home, he's hot in that psycho,I'm gonna kill you kind of way. Probably good angry sex but small penis lol.
Also, favorite line ever:
"Kyle, meanwhile just leaves stammering away that he's "not creepy"...as he lurks into the night."
Loved the recap :)
1 of 10 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on May 20, 2008 12:20 AM
Kyle reminds me of Tailor Made on I Love New York.
And I couldn't help from laughing about how the guy from Jersey refers to people by the state from which they hail. My boyfriend unfortunately is referred to as "Jersey" by 95% of our friends. Our friends are a melting pot; but yet no one else goes by Brazil, Connecticut, Rhode Island or even India. I understand in college, maybe there weren't a lot of Jersy-ans at the U of TN, but come on, that's been 10 years ago.
This show gets creepier and creepier by the episode. It's only redeeming factor to me has been Chad's wangbone comments...and it looks like he may turn out like Meathead from the real world. Man, it would totally suck to be headbutted like that though!
2 of 10 | Posted by VolGirl | Posted on May 20, 2008 6:40 AM
I want to like Chad. I think most people want to like Chad. But bottom line, 95% of the time Chad acts like a giant baby who just got into his daddy's viagra and his mommy's perkacets.
He's a funny guy and I'm sure a hit with all of his friends, but you don't fight with a guy like Bo because douchebags like Bobo aren't worth it. Now, instead of extending his 15 seconds for 15 more seconds, he's gonna go back to Detroit installing floors and being a guest at bars for two months until everyone forgets about him.
And thanks for reading Michy and Volgirl.
3 of 10 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:10 AM
Volgirl - Good call on the Kyle-Tailor Made connection ;) I thought there was something about his creepiness that was familiar - bleech!
I agree, Chad seemed like his off the wall comments would at least be entertaining, but after a while, that well ran dry. His 'friendship' with Jay reminds me of A Christmas Story, the bully, Fargus, and his little tiny side-kick.
I'm still calling 'lame' on the producers for making me watch the entire episode to see a fight that didn't happen (the previews totally set me up!) but will probably tune in tonight after all that effort!
Great recap Hayhor, definitely makes watching worthwhile!!
4 of 10 | Posted by chelle | Posted on May 20, 2008 1:17 PM
I (guiltily) admit I'm looking forward to seeing the results of Chad's hissy fit... I have to wonder if he didn't get the wrong idea from watching last season, where the violent psycho bully got kicked off the set - and then came back as a featured player on the spin-off.
A fine recap, BTW.
5 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on May 20, 2008 5:05 PM
I'm so ashamed to admit this, but I totally You Tubed the fight, and it was freaking hilarious! It's set to a musical remix that is pure brilliance. I would never admit that I watched it though.
I totally forgot to mention earlier HayHor: big ups on the recap. It was funny as crap.
6 of 10 | Posted by VolGirl | Posted on May 21, 2008 9:56 AM
What is the deal with "Jersey" Jay? There's something really wrong with him, but I can't put my finger on it...
I don't really like any of the characters this season.
7 of 10 | Posted by MLE428 | Posted on May 21, 2008 12:16 PM
MLE..
"What is the deal with "Jersey" Jay? There's something really wrong with him, but I can't put my finger on it..."
absentee parenting?
8 of 10 | Posted by dredge | Posted on May 21, 2008 1:38 PM
Jersey Jay would be one of those types who don't have much of a personality of their own--they're that little punk kid on the playground who exist more to back up whatever bully/loudmouth is closest available. Every king needs his sycophant/fool. Definitely an undiscovered homosexual--love how he took off his own shirt to bellybop with The Chadette. Is that eyeliner Jay's wearing all the time?
As for the "Jersey" thing...there's a certain segment of the US population that insist on calling anyone from New Jersey 'Jersey' for some reason. I guess people just like to say the word. Happened to me a couple of times. Usually from boneless boss/managers at the drudge jobs I had in my 20s.
Bo comes off kind of stiff to me. But honestly, the only seemingly normal guy in the bunch is the long-haired guy, who kind of hangs in the background mostly. Bet he wins (for the guys at least).
9 of 10 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 21, 2008 11:09 PM
does anyone else notice that they call lisa rizzo?
10 of 10 | Posted by shakeitkatie | Posted on May 26, 2008 9:10 PM