Tila comes to hang out with Chad right away, but all he ends up doing is treating her like a little baby and tossing her around everywhere. Tila seems to be a good sport about it, but I guess it's because she's 4'11" and used to people tossing her around like a baby. As Chad tosses Tila up and down the air while screaming "goo goo gaa gaa" at her, Kristy feels the need to get some attention. So she shows her tits.
Naturally.
Kyle says that "Once the breasteses came out, it was one heck of a party." But with the way Kyle says shit, he could've been at the freaking Israelites Golden Calf orgy and made it sound like a trip to the dentist. Suffice to say, every chick in the place started flashing their funbags, and a lesbian quadruple kiss developed. Tila, Brittany, Sirbrina, and Kristy all started getting up on Tila, and every guy in the pool stayed in the pool for about 15 minutes after it was over. Kyle, really gayly, says that "it was just "haaawwwwt" I could not sssstop ssssstaring". Seriously, he might as well have been wearing a glove and putting the back of his hand to his forehead.
Oh maaaaahhhh. That is just makin' me all hawt and bawthud.
Jay, of course, notices that everyone else is awestruck by what's going on, so in a ratfink move, he grabs Tila and takes her for himself. Tila quickly gets away from Jay and starts making a move on Bobo in the hot tub. Bobo's in Tila's good graces apparently, as she gives him a handjob in the hot tub with 10 other people in it, staring at their every move.
Awkard.
All this lesbian quadruple kissing and under water hand jays are over however, and it's time for another challenge. In the "Downpour Derby", there are weird contraptions with pumps and two hanging buckets of water on both sides. Tila picks a guy who gets to pick a girl as his partner. She gives Georgie the first pick and he goes with Sirbrina. Bobo is next and picks Kristy. Jay's up and he picks "Boston" but means Michelle. One of his many learning deficiencies is that he insists on people being named after states.
He prefers to be called "New Jersey" like, well, most of New Jersey.
Chad goes with Britany, Kyle goes with Lisa, and Scotty is stuck with Samantha. The way the game works is that each team has to pump water that will make this colored water pour over their heads. The first team with both members finished wins. Kyle and Lisa end up pulling it out, and they win a date. It's a mostly boring challenge, with the only worthwhile thing to come out of it being this picture of Kristy.
She's either excitedly stabbing someone, or the happiest girl to ever JO some guy.
During Lisa and Kyle's date, the 3 of them hang out in a really uncomfortable room. Kind of like those Nuni and Nooni Schoener sketches where they had guests sit in ridiculous chairs. Anyways, Tila notes that they made a great team today, but in the first place they didn't get along so well. But, just because they pumped water at the same together the best doesn't mean much. Kyle being a tightwad, can't roll with the punches as Lisa gives him shit about being creepy back in episode 1. Tila is feeling the discomfort in the room, and decides to move Kyle over to her white snow tiger lined swing.
"Don't worry - there's like, White Tigers everywhere in Vietnam. We won't miss 'em."
Just kidding, that shit's made out of k-mart bedding. Anyways, Kyle's feeling kinky swaying back and forth like this, and he asks Tila if she's "ever done it on a swing." Tila looks at him like he just told her that he just shit his pants and she realized it.
"Holy shit get this guy away from me!"
It's almost lucky for Lisa that Kyle's around because she looks so good compared to his crazy ass. Would she be where she is if Kyle hadn't played such a big role in her dates? During this one he stares the two of them down as they're on a different swing. Tila admits that Kyle at this point, is getting super creepy. Lisa gets a good bye kiss and KYle gets up thinking he's gonna get one, only to be totally dissed by Tila. He's definitely gotta be going home.
"Well, I guess I'll have to go make out with my boyfriend now."
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Comments (10)
Sucks that Chad will be going home, he's hot in that psycho,I'm gonna kill you kind of way. Probably good angry sex but small penis lol.
Also, favorite line ever:
"Kyle, meanwhile just leaves stammering away that he's "not creepy"...as he lurks into the night."
Loved the recap :)
1 of 10 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on May 20, 2008 12:20 AM
Kyle reminds me of Tailor Made on I Love New York.
And I couldn't help from laughing about how the guy from Jersey refers to people by the state from which they hail. My boyfriend unfortunately is referred to as "Jersey" by 95% of our friends. Our friends are a melting pot; but yet no one else goes by Brazil, Connecticut, Rhode Island or even India. I understand in college, maybe there weren't a lot of Jersy-ans at the U of TN, but come on, that's been 10 years ago.
This show gets creepier and creepier by the episode. It's only redeeming factor to me has been Chad's wangbone comments...and it looks like he may turn out like Meathead from the real world. Man, it would totally suck to be headbutted like that though!
2 of 10 | Posted by VolGirl | Posted on May 20, 2008 6:40 AM
I want to like Chad. I think most people want to like Chad. But bottom line, 95% of the time Chad acts like a giant baby who just got into his daddy's viagra and his mommy's perkacets.
He's a funny guy and I'm sure a hit with all of his friends, but you don't fight with a guy like Bo because douchebags like Bobo aren't worth it. Now, instead of extending his 15 seconds for 15 more seconds, he's gonna go back to Detroit installing floors and being a guest at bars for two months until everyone forgets about him.
And thanks for reading Michy and Volgirl.
3 of 10 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:10 AM
Volgirl - Good call on the Kyle-Tailor Made connection ;) I thought there was something about his creepiness that was familiar - bleech!
I agree, Chad seemed like his off the wall comments would at least be entertaining, but after a while, that well ran dry. His 'friendship' with Jay reminds me of A Christmas Story, the bully, Fargus, and his little tiny side-kick.
I'm still calling 'lame' on the producers for making me watch the entire episode to see a fight that didn't happen (the previews totally set me up!) but will probably tune in tonight after all that effort!
Great recap Hayhor, definitely makes watching worthwhile!!
4 of 10 | Posted by chelle | Posted on May 20, 2008 1:17 PM
I (guiltily) admit I'm looking forward to seeing the results of Chad's hissy fit... I have to wonder if he didn't get the wrong idea from watching last season, where the violent psycho bully got kicked off the set - and then came back as a featured player on the spin-off.
A fine recap, BTW.
5 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on May 20, 2008 5:05 PM
I'm so ashamed to admit this, but I totally You Tubed the fight, and it was freaking hilarious! It's set to a musical remix that is pure brilliance. I would never admit that I watched it though.
I totally forgot to mention earlier HayHor: big ups on the recap. It was funny as crap.
6 of 10 | Posted by VolGirl | Posted on May 21, 2008 9:56 AM
What is the deal with "Jersey" Jay? There's something really wrong with him, but I can't put my finger on it...
I don't really like any of the characters this season.
7 of 10 | Posted by MLE428 | Posted on May 21, 2008 12:16 PM
MLE..
"What is the deal with "Jersey" Jay? There's something really wrong with him, but I can't put my finger on it..."
absentee parenting?
8 of 10 | Posted by dredge | Posted on May 21, 2008 1:38 PM
Jersey Jay would be one of those types who don't have much of a personality of their own--they're that little punk kid on the playground who exist more to back up whatever bully/loudmouth is closest available. Every king needs his sycophant/fool. Definitely an undiscovered homosexual--love how he took off his own shirt to bellybop with The Chadette. Is that eyeliner Jay's wearing all the time?
As for the "Jersey" thing...there's a certain segment of the US population that insist on calling anyone from New Jersey 'Jersey' for some reason. I guess people just like to say the word. Happened to me a couple of times. Usually from boneless boss/managers at the drudge jobs I had in my 20s.
Bo comes off kind of stiff to me. But honestly, the only seemingly normal guy in the bunch is the long-haired guy, who kind of hangs in the background mostly. Bet he wins (for the guys at least).
9 of 10 | Posted by itchy | Posted on May 21, 2008 11:09 PM
does anyone else notice that they call lisa rizzo?
10 of 10 | Posted by shakeitkatie | Posted on May 26, 2008 9:10 PM