This week on the show, everyone is stunned that Sirbrina was ejected. She was the hottest girl left and Tila seemed to be digging her. Luckily, there is another retarded challenge laced with sexual innuendo to distract them. When the house picks up their message-in-a-bottle to read what embarrasments await them, they notice wrestling singlets. "It's been a tough few week. We've all been wrestling with our feelings. So let's sweeten things up. Meet me at the Cherry Pit." Apparently that means clitoris. I suppose the ladies of the world need a nice word for a vagina as opposed to hatchet wound or meat curtains.

Meet me at the Ninja Slipper sounds a little aggressive.

Basically, the challenge is for everyone is wrestling in a huge bowl of jelly. Real creative. Tila selects two captains - Glitter and Scotty - to pick teams "playground style." Scotty goes with George, Christy, and Brittany. Glitter picks Lisa, Jay, and Bo, who can't compete because of his injury (she says she felt bad). She's a stripper, not a scholar, folks.

Thank god her job is to take off her clothes for money.

Tila brings in a referee, who's Pierre "The Beast" Vachon from NWA Wrestling. Glitter says that she was scared and wanted to run away, and laughs maniacally for the second time in 30 seconds. Lisa, meanwhile kills Christy right off the bat for the first match. Tila admits to the camera later, however, that she felt bad because "we all know by now that Lisa is a beast."

Looks like Pierre Vachon's got some serious competition.

Scotty and Jay fought next and Jay beat him down easily. It's a good thing they wrestled in yogurt because now that Sirbrina's gone, Scotty's the prettiest girl in the house. Jay, of course, credits "Jersey" for the win. Glitter and Brittany fought next, and with Glitter's team up 2-0, Brittany needed a big win. The fight starts with Brittany hanging on Glitter's back. Glitter falls down backwards, giving her the point. Brittany then goes for the legs, but Glitter, Brittany notes, uses some hardcore stripper moves and tosses her to the side.

Meth-raged strippers have been known to break bottles over heads or worse.

George is upset because he didn't even get a chance to go out there, and of course, begins to choke up on camera. Seriously, George you need to get a hold of yourself man. Pull the needle out of your ass - that shit makes a man grow bitchtits and cry like a reality dating show contestant.

Oh wait.

Sorry for that incredibly lame meta joke. On to the winning team's date! They get to go on a "sweet candy land date" with Tila that, she explains, "Is a sweet, fantasy world of candy." In other words, they imported a Sweet Factory (that store might be a southeast thing, so apologies if it is - in NYC it's comparable to Dillon's) and sprinkled in some booze and sluts. Tila, of course, uses the food as an opportunity to act like a ho, letting Glitter lick chocolate off her fingers and shoving whipped cream down Jay's throat.

"This reminds me of Chad." (tear)

I feel bad for poor Bo. He's sitting around acting like an old man. When we see them goofing around in there Tila sits on his lap and he acts like he doesn't know what to do with her, and he very intently licks a lollipop like crazy. Glitter, meanwhile, is acting like the spry lady of the night that she is and wants to take Tila aside to seduce her. Jay, looks on, trying to hide his true sexual orientation by saying, "sweet" all while eating a banana.

Mixed Messages.

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Posted in Tila Tequila by HayHor at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: seraphmoon on Jun 5, 2008 04:05 PM.