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Tila then focuses some attention on Grandpa Bobo and is nursing him by slobbering his ear with ghonorrhea. Jay, however, interrupts them by riding an inplace ice cream machine and ringing a bell, all while shouting "Ice cream! Ice cream!" Bo isn't too happy about it, and Tila comments to the camera that it was kind of annoying, but she nonetheless amuses Jay and joins him on the bicycle to nowhere.

Hop on! It's headed to the same place my life is going!

After the winning team's turn is over, Tila brings in the losers. She baits them by saying to raise hell on the candy shop, knowing that leaving a room full of candy with adderall addicts and permission to go nuts would making something of a mess. Our favorite steroided baby notes that he's being turned into a "George Sunday" as everyone covers him with chocolate and sprinkles, but coincidentally, that also happens to be his gay porn "handle."

Peter Berlin, eat your heart out. (I had to google "gay porn star" to find that, which will totally sound like an excuse if anyone ever sees my google history).

Tila then pulls the switch and makes them all clean it up. There is a caveat, however - they all have to do it chained together. Don't you just love how team-building exercises made for business retreats have turned into reality television? Anyways, there wasn't enough sexual innuendo in this candy shop bit (is there ever on this show?), so Tila rolls out with a table full of cherry pies. Each player has to dig through their cherry pie to find their key to the chains.

Much like Kristy's ex girlfriends, the pie was scrumptious and unsanitary.

Tila's really pulling lots of gotcha's this week, however. After all the other contestants found keys, Kristy was left still looking. Tila then told everyone that it was time to go, but Kristy said she didn't have her key yet so she couldn't go anywhere. Tila playfully tells her that she's gonna have to stay, only to surprise her with some alone time. It's here where I started to notice that whenever Tila has "alone time" with someone, it's always the same shit. Typically the script goes:

"Gosh, it stinks I don't get to spend as much time with you as I'd like."

"Yeah it does. Let's hook up"

The next day a new message in a bottle tells the houseguests, similarly to last year, that they have to tell Tila what they really think about each other. They basically hold up signs that say Stay or Go, and Tila marches them up in front of everyone for the vote. It's essentially designed to create conflict. The first person up is Scotty. Everyone says he should stay except Jay and Lisa. Lisa feels that Tila is complex and Scotty wouldn't be able to handle it. "I just don't see it happening."

She says, hockin a loogie and scratching her balls.

Tila then asks for Glitter's opinion and she starts having a nervous breakdown. She says that she doesn't judge anyone and "she's not going to be someone she's not." I kind of respect her for it, but at the same time she's a ditzy, crazy eyed stripper so she has no place to judge. Tila says it frustrated her because she's just trying to figure out who's best for her and she needs everyone's help. Well, that and to make somebody cry.

Mission Accomplished.

Glitter then goes up to hear everyone's opinon about her. Everyone says that she should go except Lisa, who likes to stare at that hot ass while it fetches her a beer. Brittany says that she voted for her to go because Tila needs somebody "stable." Glitter then responds by breaking down like a crazy person and telling Tila that "No one can love you like I can."

And by "love" she means "annoy".

Tila then calls Jay up who gets the guys saying he should leave and the girls reluctantly saying he should stay. Tila asks Bo why Jay should leave and Bo says that he doesn't "see them clicking". Jay says that Bo doesn't see the other side of it when they're alone, but we all know what's going on when they're alone and Jay, it was never gonna happen. Jay tells Bo that he better watch his chin and then makes goofy faces to make fun of Bo, who he half-apologized to the week before.

His outside finally matches what he looks like on the inside.

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Posted in Tila Tequila by HayHor at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: seraphmoon on Jun 5, 2008 04:05 PM.