Testimonials

George is up next and everyone thinks he should stay except Jay. I agree with our sped New Jersian, when he says, "Tila needs the spice in her life. I don't see the pep in your step." He then went on to say, "Jersey!" Well, not on the show, but I'm sure they edited out. Up next is Brittany, who gets a "stay" from everyone but Scotty, Bo, and Jay (of course). Scotty says he doesn't see her as having a solid relationship with Tila, and that Brittany is up and down emotionally. Tila says that Brittany's her little sweetheart and that Scotty's "So wrong." Brittany looks confused and starts to cry, while Tila almost looks offended.

While Scotty looks like a girl version of Carrot Top.

Lisa's up next and despite being the biggest competition in the house, everyone votes for her to stay. She's pleased with herself but Tila seems to be a bit annoyed by how good she is at everything, including getting picked by people. Bo's up next and everyone think she should go except for George. Kristy says her rationale for Bo leaving is that she's "not seeing the personalities click," and particularly from Bobo, she's "not seeing enough spunk." I can't think of an appropriate joke here so I'll just say - spunk is a euphimsm for jizz...ha. Moving on, Kristy's up next and everyone thinks she should stay except for Bobo, who's just upset about not getting picked by Kristy earlier, and getting his revenge. Kristy's response to the camera is that her and Tila together is every man's fantasy, and "if it isn't, you're gay."

Well call me Liberace, then.

Soon after it's "message in a bottle" time and because everyone thought Lisa should stay, the message says she got a pass for elimination. Metaphorically, she just whipped out her dick on the table to show everyone who's got the biggest...or not metaphorically, whatever. On top of that, Bo gets some alone time with Tila even though he got the lowest amount of votes. Everyone else is supposed to head to the back for "something special."

Oh, a mall frangrance display. How special.

Tila says it's an aphrodesiac bar, including chocolate balls, special drinks, and whole cockaroaches. Tila orders everyone to eat a cockaroach, and like willing slaves, almost everyone obliges. Glitter and Brittany even turn it into who will do anything for Tila fight, as Brittany says she'll jump into the pool. Glitter says she'll do it naked, which is how I bet she tries to top people in all arguments. She says that after refusing to vote for anyone to leave in the last game, she "really wanted to step up and act crazy."

Yeah, this is really out of character for you.

When it was Tila's time to dig in on the roach, she couldn't handle it. So, she converted Brittany into a trash receptacle, and basically spit the roach into her mouth. Brittany of course loved it. She claims, however, that because she ate the roach Glitter and Brittany have to run in the pool naked. Jay thought Tila said New Jersey somewhere and naked in the same paragraph, and decided to hop in the pool sans clothes.

They need a bigger mixing glass.

The only mention on camera Tila makes is that she appreciated that Brittany did it, but she doesn't mention Jay or Glitter at all, presumably because such shenanigans are predictable with this crowd. As Jay gets out of the pool, we finally understand what motivates his bravado. Glitter saw the Jersey turnpike, and noted that it was a "shriveled, floppy penis".

Maybe you should move from Jersey to something a little more appropos of shirveled and floppy - how about Delaware?

After the party, Bo and Tila have their date, and it's in a room that's screaming firehazard. There's probably a 100 lit candles all over the room and I don't see Bo and Tequila as super responsible about things. Seriously, this show's so tacky anyways, they should've put those electric fake candles that flicker, and nobody would've cared. Anyways, Tila asks him dumb questions and he makes pointless answers about how he's "there to be with her." They then cue some romantic music, as Tila feds Bobo his meal in a cup.

This is like an AARP ad, only with sexy people.

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Posted in Tila Tequila by HayHor at 6:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (5)
Last Comment: seraphmoon on Jun 5, 2008 04:05 PM.