Hi Gasmii! I assume you are all educated, current events focused readers, correct? You've heard then that on Monday, California became the second state to allow gay marriage which must mean that either the rapture is coming or we're going to end up a better, more tolerant society. Either way, we have one person to thank - our heroin in A SHOT AT LOVE II: WITH TILA TEQUILA recently told Us Weekly that the California Supreme Court decision is "because of me -- I definitely think [my show] has helped the movement. Before it came out, everyone was still a little apprehensive about [same sex relationships]. Then they realized, 'Wow, everyone is really into this stuff, and it is fine.' The next thing you know, [gay marriage] is legal."
AHEM...Homosexual America, I believe you owe someone a thank youuuu.
We start off this week's campaign of intolerance deep in the heart of enemy territory - Fairborn, Ohio. Bo's family is about as red state average as you can get, and having Tila around doesn't seem like it's going to be a very comfortable situation. Before introducing Tila to 'Ma and 'Pa, however, Bo starts off by introducing Tila to his fan club - four 16 year old high schoolers.
"I'll pay y'all when I get my next high school football coachin' paycheck/allowance."
Seriously, the first place Bo meets up with Tequila is his high school gym in some lame attempt to recreate a statutory rape fantasy. Actually, he just introduces her to his players who he knows will be really proud of him. Well, there's this one wigger named Zach, who just says, "Daaayuuummm, I waswundin' how he'd get her?"
Fairburn, OH's most wanted
After showing off his roots, Bo brings Tila home to meet the Bobos for a nice family dinner. Papa Bobo isn't particularly amused by the situation as he sits stone faced, but Mama Bobo is trying to be cool for the MTV crowd. So, during a nice dinner discussion about Bo and Tila's relationship, she daydreams back to the days when she was Gene Simmons' latest drop in the bucket.
In the 1,000 women Gene Simmons claims to have bedded, surely she could fit in somewhere.
For reasons that may be totally disgusting, this gets Tila going, and she announces that she thinks "Mom is hitting on me!" She doesn't let it go, though. She then asks if Bo's mom is a bisexual, to which she naturally responded, "By the end of the night...maybe." EW. Mama Bobo makes it even more uncomfortable, by asking her youngest son Brent if he knows what a bisexual is. Based on Brent's explanation, I don't think Mama Bobo knows what a bisexual is. Brent's answer? "A bisexual is the girl likes two boys and two girls. I think it's kind of gross."
Well, if we're involving his mother into this equation he's half right.
Tila decides to get a little serious and asks Bo's family if they would have his blessing to go to LA. Mama Bobo, harkening back to her LSD infused groupie days, said she couldn't do certain things because she got knocked up with Bobo, so at the very least, she can live vicariously through him. Papa Bobo, stoic as ever, isn't so sure it's a good idea.
"I mean, my son's kind of a douchebag...although it is LA...I'm gonna have to think about this"
After spending some time in Bore-hio, Tila moves on to class it up in Yonkers, Queens. It's a first for Kristy, as her family knows she's bisexual, but has never met one of her girlfriends. She starts off the tour with a trip to the ice skating rink where Kristy can have an opportunity to show off her triple axle, since she already showed Tila her tits at a pool party.
A whole new kind of jap comes to Westchester (I know she's Vietnamese, but the joke doesn't work otherwise)
After ice skating, it's time for dinner with Kristy's family - her mom, dad, aunt, and brother. Her aunt is a bisexual as well, although with her look, it comes across as more desperation than preference. She sports a strange looking mullet, almost like the Rachel cut with a Chinchilla on top of her head. But, she's super supportive of Kristy and seems like a nice lady, so I'll ease up on her.
But seriously, check out this hair.
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Comments (11)
No, no, they're not Jersey Jews, they're Israelis, which is a huge difference-really, not the same thing at all-- and explains why you mistook him for Italian!
I think the whole angry Jay thing was a set up. It was just too abrupt--why would she be so harsh to him like that? And his reaction was just a sham --you could tell he was following a script.
Which leads me to suspect that the 'family' was a setup too, a bunch of actors....they stole the idea from the last Bachelor in an effort somehow to spice up this boring show.
Have to admit, I like the blonde (never can remember her name) for the win. Seems like the only one left who can keep up with the Tila party..
I just wish there were a time machine, a way to flash forward and see what Tila's doing in 10 years...
1 of 11 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 16, 2008 11:55 PM
I find myself really hoping that Brittany wins this thing. I like Kristy and all, but dude, she looks like she hasn't slept in months most of the time. Her eyes are always so baggy and swollen and it makes me want to cut up some cucumber and put it on the TV screen!
Two things that made me laugh out loud this episode (besides the obvious things that made me retch throughout):
1. I love how when Tila is visiting Kristy's family, she's talking about how she's been saying the same thing as Kristy's aunt for years, about it being the person on the inside that counts. HOWEVER, I thought she had never come out to ANYONE since last season? And that wasn't even a full year ago. Tila, tell your writers to get whole fake biography right. Indescrepancies are a big no-no. And maybe once they do that, they can write your interviews too, cause you sure got a lot of ego in that little body. The world does not revolve around you.
Anyway..rant over..my next giggle moment was:
2. When Jay is leaving and Tila says "Where you froooooooom?" expecting the normal obnoxious "JER-SEYYY!" and gets "STFU, bitch!" haha. I hate him but I had to laugh at that point.
2 of 11 | Posted by narcissistic | Posted on June 17, 2008 5:23 AM
narcissistic--I also loved Jersey's reply to Tila at the end.
Jersey's family---I am at a loss for words. Was that the Mom showing the boobs to the son's, or the Step-mom? I think even Tila decided that Jersey's family was too much.
3 of 11 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on June 17, 2008 6:44 AM
Wow Hayhor a little heavy on the Jewish thing don't you think? Or did you not realize how bad the "He's a Jew!" would sound to all of us Jewish readers? I've been a fan, but reading this recap felt the same as being sucker punched. I'm sure it's hard to find jokes in this pathetic show, but there's got to be a better way than going for the Vietnamese, Italian, Jewish bigotry.
4 of 11 | Posted by rosesarered | Posted on June 17, 2008 7:38 AM
Rosesarered,
I want to apologize if you felt insulted when I wrote that. Most of my friends are Jewish (reform, but nonetheless devout) and when I'm worried about crossing the line, I think "would they be insulted?"
Granted, they make more Jewish jokes about themselves than I do, but I could say the same for myself and Puerto Rican jokes, so you get the picture.
Nonetheless, you should know that the intent is not to disrespect anyone except Jay's embarrasing family. I hope you'll accept my apology.
Oh and itchy...you're totally right, those Israeli dudes can't get enough!
5 of 11 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on June 17, 2008 8:14 AM
Great recap. Thanks!
Itchy: I want to believe that Jay's reaction was genuine, since I found him to be more repugnant than even that Detroit loon.
I predict that in ten years Tila will be doing "Shot at Love XI - this time I really mean it", only she'll look even wierder due to some unfortunate choices in plastic surgery.
For Bo's sake, I hope he doesn't "win". And that dark haired girl has stalker written all over her - (do you really think her family was "out of town"? I say get a search warrant and some corpse sniffing blood hounds.)
For those reasons, I'll take the blonde for the win.
6 of 11 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on June 17, 2008 8:32 AM
Whoever said to Brandon (Bo), "You should use the nickname Bo instead of your actual name Brandon, its much cooler" should be punched in the face.
Tila, you ass, you should've picked Danni.
7 of 11 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on June 17, 2008 9:18 AM
fire@will: well, maybe it was a genuine reaction on the first take...but by the time they got done with the version that was edited into the show, it just came off as too rehearsed.
But a putz is a putz is a putz...whereever he's from!
8 of 11 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 17, 2008 10:09 AM
itchy:
that really is jay's family. i graduated high school a year after jay and knew him and his family (mostly his brother adam) my entire life. never knew they were that nuts behind closed doors though!
9 of 11 | Posted by User Name | Posted on June 17, 2008 11:21 AM
In that case....ick.
10 of 11 | Posted by itchy | Posted on June 17, 2008 12:32 PM
Great recap!
I'm from Yonkers, New York and it was very entertaining seeing Tila at a place I've been to a million times.
Can't wait for the finale, I know who wins though so there won't be that much excitement, ugh its sad how into this show I am...
11 of 11 | Posted by stina | Posted on June 18, 2008 9:57 PM