After the intros, Host Ryan Stout shows a clip reel of who gets the most shit-talked in the house. Unsurprisingly, Jay is the first one. Lauryn, a Perth Amboy native, says she's a little embarrassed that Jay's from New Jersey, but if I were making a list, not sure Jay would be on the tippy top of it. He'd be on there, for sure. Just not the top. George is next, and gets ripped for being a weirdo in the middle of the night. Apparently he just stays up and stares at the wall. They also show a clip of him talking to himself, saying "I don't want everyone to think I'm a self-talker."
Georgie's fashion advice for Crazy People: When acting crazy, it is always a good idea to wear a headband and one wristband.
They then show everyone talking about Glitter, and it's clear that while we only had to deal with Glitter once a week, they had to listen to that squeal all day. Jay actually does something funny, and imitates Glitter taking a shit.
He's almost a little too good at it.
After the reel, they reflect on Jay even more, and show some of his greatest worst moments in the house. This leads to Stout asking some questions of the rest of the house, and Lauryn announces to Jay that he's a "faker" since he apologized to Bo, but tries to be best friends with Chad. It turns into a shouting match between the two of them with Jay saying that he's from the north part of Jersey which is rich and she's from the south part of Jersey which is poor. This sets her off, and she tosses her chair at him. In other words, she made a point that not everyone in Jersey is like Jay by acting exactly like him.
Safe to say it's not a stereotype?
After a quick break to give Jay and Lauryn some valium, we go to a reel showing Tila's ejection of Serenity and Lili along with the ongoing battle between the guys and the girls in the house. Their response, to make out. We've seen them make out before, so instead of posting that picture, I'm posting something that I accidentally paused, but is too perfect not to put here.
The camera loves you glitter.
Stout then asks Brittany to come to the stage, and talk about the feelings of rejection she faced after the show. She says that the worst part of it was watching her get dumped "seven times a day on MTV", and is tearing up from it. They also talk about how Brittany's a "gold star lesbian" meaning she has only been with girls, but Brittany points out that she is, in fact, a "platinum lesbian."
The wardrobe, however, sends mixed messages.
The next set of clips is about Glitter's crying, which they had a lot of material for. They also showed everyone freaking out over George leaving, and it was funny to see everyone's real tears with Tila's fake ones. Well, this was probably funnier.
It's a natural reaction when she cries - comes with her line of work.
After embarrasing Glitter, it's time to focus on Lisa's ability to win/her giant set of testacles. Lisa says that she didn't realize how butch she was until she came on the show, but since then she's been trying to girly herself up a bit and buy underwear that's not for 13 year old boys.
Don't tuck, we know they're there.
After Lisa's and Stout's guy talk, it's time for the Wangbone himself, Chad, to come out. Chad tells Stout that he's a pretty chill guy usually, but he was just put in a room with a douchebag and trouble ensued. Not exactly how it happened, but who cares it made for great tv. Also, chad comes out dressed like Vanilla Ice circa 1993.
Ice Ice Douchy
Chad also claims that he's the realest guy on the show since he beats people up who talk shit. But when Stout asks him if the attack on Bo had anything to do with love or the competition, he notes that he didn't provoke it, Bo came back into the room. Which is true, but doesn't mean you had to fight his ass. You could've walked away, people will still think he's a douche. But I guess I'm just not very "real". He also notes that he's proud that he gave Bo some hospital bills, cause that's how they do it in "De-Troit", and that his mother's a "whore." Anyone want to put odds on whether Chad knows who his father is?
"Wilt Chamberlain?"
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Comments (8)
Nice recap. I was surprised Chad wasn't locked up... and even surprised that it was possible for my opinion of him to go even lower (when he talked trash about Bo's mom). I did enjoy when he (rightfully) scorned Jay's faces. And I grudgingly respect that he does, indeed, back up the tough talk (I'd prefer everyone just stop the tough talk - can't we just all get along? - but then the music industry would fail and further weaken the economy.)
Don't care who Tila (or the producers) end up picking. Does anyone... really... care?
1 of 8 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 1, 2008 9:20 AM
While Bo was trying to fight Chad he said that he had nothing left to lose. This makes me think he lost his shot of love to Kristy.
2 of 8 | Posted by menomor3 | Posted on July 1, 2008 9:58 AM
I think she or the producers pick Kristy since she went with a guy last time.
3 of 8 | Posted by Lnnc92 | Posted on July 1, 2008 10:13 AM
I get the feeling the 'nothing left to lose' comment is a red herring--it would have been easily enough to edit it out.
I get the feeling that most of what happened during the show was set up, and these clowns were simply following a script. Especially the part about Ryan calling Bo out...pure setup.
This 'reunion' show definitely sinks the entire concept to new and deeply profound depths of utter stupidity. Anyone see the move Idiocracy?
No question about it, though, that Chad clown is a repressed homosexual. And an idiot. Quite the combination, eh?
Oh, and Christy kept yelling at the guy to squeeze her butt.
4 of 8 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 1, 2008 2:35 PM
Hey guys,
Glitter alone makes this thing a train wreck. Strippers should never have a forum on any sort of television except for episodes of Real Sex and Taxicab confessions.
Either way, tonight is gonna be terribly anticlimactic. Seriously no one cares. So I don't blame you for not reading next week. But I hope you do. Thanks for reading!!!!!
5 of 8 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on July 1, 2008 3:28 PM
that teary eyed pic of jay is about the best freeze frame of this season!
6 of 8 | Posted by shakeitkatie | Posted on July 1, 2008 6:07 PM
I just watched the season finale. And while waiting for Hayhor's recap (better hurry, this thing gets stale fast):
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
7 of 8 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 2, 2008 11:16 PM
Itchy:
I completely agree, but would also recommend FFing the first 30 min (AKA the boring filler).
Most I've laughed in a LONG time. :)
8 of 8 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 3, 2008 8:18 AM