Hey Gasmii! I know, I know. You're disappointed in my complete lack of timeliness. But you know, I was watching the surprising turn of events the night of the so-called "finale", and as the credits rolled, they previewed some clips from this week's perfectly named epilogue, A SHOT AT LOVE II: WITH TILA TEQUILA - One Shot Too Many. And you know what? After the end of the finale, and the preview they showed for this week, it just made sense to cover them both at once. I don't want to give away why just yet, but maybe I'm a little happy that I can really pour on the vitriol for someone's "sad" situation.
See - Title
But let's go back to the beginning of this story. Where we last left it, Tila had to make up her little bobble headed mind between Bo and Kristy. Bobo and Kristy wake up to a nice breakfast in bed, and soon after meet Tila downstairs for the very last stupid challenge. It's one that's been scene in a number of reality shows before this one - the get to the center of an ice block using only your body heat (surprisingly there is no sexual euphimism associated with this challenge). Tila also has a couple of Bo and a couple of Kristy's friends from home help them out, although with Kristy's ass, I don't think she needs the help.
(Internal monologue)Rigged show? This challenge totally favors her.
In fact, Kristy's ass is so distracting that it, coupled with some porn star groaning, causes Bobo's dumb buddies to be a little distracted. Luckily, Bobo shows them a little something to get back on track.
Somehow, Bo's managed to make getting his ass kicked on television not the most embarrassing thing he's done.
After Tila provides some Margarita kits, including salt and tequila to melt the ice, and the shaker to chip away at it, the favor goes back to the guys and they pull out the win in brute force. The reward? To go to Tila's strip club and awkwardly stare at her while talking about how great Bo is.
"So glad you guys could make it out for the gang bang."
Soon after, Kristy and her girls came up, and it's kind of funny because when the guys all gang up on Tila it comes across as kind of creepy. But when the girls do it, it's like HBO late night porn. Well, these girls are kind of uglier. So maybe Starz (Do they even have softcore porn on Starz?)?
"The Butterface Chronicles", call your local cable provider
After Kristy and Bobo's friends leave, they get up the next morning for some time with Tila. Bobo gets the first go round with her and she takes him to a "sports bar," but really it's the stripper room dressed up to look like a sports bar, otherwise known as a finished basement.
"This is like a real sports bar. I just roofied your drink."
Bobo shows Tila that he's been wearing his hospital bracelet since the "incident" as it's his good luck charm. What he doesn't realize is the "incident" was his good luck charm. I do not think Bobo would have made it this far otherwise. Nonetheless, he says he doesn't intend to take it off until the end, when she's gonna "give me my key," according to Bo.
"Awwwww, you're so stupid."
After nodding along to Bo's comments while watching the TV behind him, Tila moves on to her date with Kristy. The two of them have a cozy dinner by the fire, and Kristy starts off being very emotional. She's worried that because she hasn't been in a relationship with a serious woman, somewhere down the line she'll hurt Tila by freaking out about the relationship. Something tells me Tila's not too concerned about that.
"Shit, I'm counting on it."
After the date's over, the time has finally come - Tila is going to pick who has a Shot at Love with her. She leaves Kristy and Bo to a day of pampering (other than Bo's typical two hours in front of the mirror). Bobo is of course pumped and thinks he has the thing in the bag. He's serious about Tila and in love with her. Kristy, meanwhile, says she started to "get nervous. My hands started shaking. And then it hit me like a truck - do I want a man, or a woman?"
If you want a man, I think Lisa is available.
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Comments (9)
Great recap.
The last two shows had me ROFL - a lot. I think tila was genuinely surprised when Kristy turned her down... and just as unaware of how selfish she is.
I loved Kristy for what she did. (I thought the booing audience was - like Kristy - obviously stacked. They reminded me of the lemmings in an infomercial.)
Bo trashed a good life for a shot at cheezy fame. Let him serve as a lesson in Sunday schools everywhere.
If this is the last we see of Tila (and her TV show) the world will be a little better off. Enough, already.
1 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 11, 2008 8:58 AM
That was an excellent recap to a finale. I don't think MTV would want to do "A Shot At Love III" after she got sold out on her own show.
2 of 9 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on July 11, 2008 8:58 AM
Fire @ Will, you're totally right. Kristy deserves props for being honest (I think she was trying to convince herself she liked Tila, but then realized she didn't and nipped it in the bud).
Bo did give up a good life for this, but in all honesty, as much as I made fun of him he seems like an alright guy, just a little naive. Hopefully things work out for him.
And yes, the audience was totally dragged in from a Ronco presentation.
Nerrawllehctim, I would agree except that for some reason this bobblehead gets some serious ratings. I'd put the odds at a season 3 right now at 60/40.
Thanks again for reading you beautiful commenters! Don't forget to check out New York Loves Hollywood in August!
3 of 9 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on July 11, 2008 9:12 AM
EVERYTHING about this show is scripted. I think when Tila was turning her face away from the camera (trying to look upset when Kristy dumped her) she was really turning her face away cause she was about to crack up laughing.
But props to Kristy for doing a much, much, much better acting job than Tila. Kristy almost had me believing she was upset.
4 of 9 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on July 11, 2008 10:21 AM
I said in the last comment that EVERYTHING is scripted on this show but there is one exception. When Tila told Bo's friends to get naked to melt the ice, I believe I saw real horror in the eyes of that guy who left his shirt on.
5 of 9 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on July 11, 2008 10:24 AM
I wondered if it was just me that noticed Kristy's boobs were bigger. Guess she's trying to get them to match her ass.
6 of 9 | Posted by blazergirl | Posted on July 11, 2008 1:18 PM
I liked Tila's pathetic whimpering: "What's wrong with me? Why can't I find love?"
Hmm...maybe because you're looking for love on a cheap n' sleazy reality show, you idiot.
Thanks for the recaps, Hayhor. Not sure if I can stomach a spinoff from a spinoff of a Flava Flav show...
7 of 9 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 11, 2008 2:33 PM
I dunno, I think Tila was really pissed off. I mean come on...you know how this show works....2 people are left at the end and one gets picked. I don't understand why Kristy didn't back out before the last pick. Everyone knows how these shows work! And she gets mad at Tila for doing the same thing to everyone....duh! it's her show idiot...that's how it's supposed to work! Did the producers not explain it to you?
Kristy had many chances to back out. If she wanted more time, then why did she end it with Tila? They could've still continued seeing other. But yeah, i'm naive....i know everything is really set up. But honestly....Tila did really looked pissed at the reunion.
And I don't know why no one likes Bo. I didn't watch this season that much, but he seemed like a nice guy....and he's cute too. Well maybe it's a good thing Tila didn't pick him.....i think he can do waayy better then her.
Anyone think Kristy is gonna get her own show??
8 of 9 | Posted by jozeyg | Posted on July 14, 2008 10:40 AM
Sorry a bit late here...
I believe what Tila said as she stormed off was "Shut your trashhole, bitch."
9 of 9 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on July 23, 2008 6:31 AM