Kristy's really nervous, and says that right now, it'd be better if Tila didn't choose her. But, as we return from commercial, it's Bobo who comes to the house first. After getting his jaw cracked, and being exposed to the world as an unfunny, douchebagy, jock, it's unfair that Bobo doesn't at least get some Saigon tang. Bo, in a potentially wise move, tells her as he leaves that she'll "always have your Bo Bear". And then melodramatically drops his hospital bracelet.
Symbolically, once BO let go of the bracelet, no one outside of Ohio ever cared about him again. Enjoy anonimity buddy!
Tila says that it was hard to let go of Bobo, but that she's excited to start her relationship with Kristy. At the moment, however, Kristy's totally lost it. As she walks to the stage, she has the biggest "Oh shit!" look on her face. But Tila, looking right at her, pretends to be totally oblivious to Kristy's obvious uncertainty. I say pretends because this is what she was counting on all along - now she can offer the key to Kristy, knowing Kristy won't take it, then make A Shot at Love III so that she can be even more famous for...for um? Well, not for music. Still, Kristy is nonetheless, shitting herself with nervousness right now.
"I'm gonna need a baby wipe"
Nonetheless, when the time comes Kristy comes forward with it. She tells Tila that she's not ready and the camera zooms forward to a shaken Tila, with tears welling up in her eyes. For some reason, when Tila is upset she shakes a lot, making her bobblehead even more accented. With those glassy eyes and wobbly dome, she kind of reminds me of something.
Matches the whole Tequila/Mexico theme.
Tila manages to make herself cry by thinking about an apocalyptic situation in which Myspace doesn't exist anymore. She asks the camera why she can't find love? "What's wrong with me," she asks herself.
You've "cried" enough. I'll spare you.
But after all that melodrama, we flash forward to two months later (in actual real life, not reality television world where time stands still), and find out what's been going on with our favorite morons with bad taste in people. Stout calls out Bo first, and asks how things have been for poor Bobo. He says that he doesn't feel any better, and still has an empty void. Besides getting dumped on tv, he got dumped by his football team for being on TV, so let's just say it's metaphorical castration for him.
But he's such a pretty lady now at least.
Stout then asks Bobo what he was thinking when Tila kicked him to the curb. Bobo says that it's a blur and that he doesn't remember..."kind of like getting headbutted in the face." The audience rewards him with a good chuckle, but after hearing him go on and on about "feeling empty," get tired pretty quick.
"Is this asshole for real?"
After Bobo, the audience gets a reprieve from Kristy and her even bigger(?) boobs. She starts off making perfect sense about how she got closer to Tila but the connection only went to a certain point. Like most of my fratty friends, she thinks women are too complicated and she didn't want to end up a "fake reality couple." She also said she didn't get a tattoo since it symbolized "what I went through." That being, starfucking. In fact, her whole family loved the idea of her starfucking so much, they decided to all get the same tat for themselves on awkward parts of their body.
"The Starfuckers", a Tila Tequila spinoff.
After looking at all that ink, Bobo comes out to hang out with Kristy. Stout notices that they look pretty cordial, and Bo says they had a brother sister relationship, but more in the "Hazzard County" sense. Or in other words, business as usual for Bo.
"Okay, so I grabbed her tits once."
Bo and Kristy then speculate on whether Bo could be with Tila now if Kristy backed out sooner. But, Bobo points out that she "didn't pick me anyway." Stout then asks Bobo how he would feel if Tila gave him another chance? Bobo tries to hide it a little, agreeing that it'd be tough to deal with that in a relationship, but maybe he could get past it.
Seriously, Tila you could have another shot with this piece of man right here.
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Comments (9)
Great recap.
The last two shows had me ROFL - a lot. I think tila was genuinely surprised when Kristy turned her down... and just as unaware of how selfish she is.
I loved Kristy for what she did. (I thought the booing audience was - like Kristy - obviously stacked. They reminded me of the lemmings in an infomercial.)
Bo trashed a good life for a shot at cheezy fame. Let him serve as a lesson in Sunday schools everywhere.
If this is the last we see of Tila (and her TV show) the world will be a little better off. Enough, already.
1 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 11, 2008 8:58 AM
That was an excellent recap to a finale. I don't think MTV would want to do "A Shot At Love III" after she got sold out on her own show.
2 of 9 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on July 11, 2008 8:58 AM
Fire @ Will, you're totally right. Kristy deserves props for being honest (I think she was trying to convince herself she liked Tila, but then realized she didn't and nipped it in the bud).
Bo did give up a good life for this, but in all honesty, as much as I made fun of him he seems like an alright guy, just a little naive. Hopefully things work out for him.
And yes, the audience was totally dragged in from a Ronco presentation.
Nerrawllehctim, I would agree except that for some reason this bobblehead gets some serious ratings. I'd put the odds at a season 3 right now at 60/40.
Thanks again for reading you beautiful commenters! Don't forget to check out New York Loves Hollywood in August!
3 of 9 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on July 11, 2008 9:12 AM
EVERYTHING about this show is scripted. I think when Tila was turning her face away from the camera (trying to look upset when Kristy dumped her) she was really turning her face away cause she was about to crack up laughing.
But props to Kristy for doing a much, much, much better acting job than Tila. Kristy almost had me believing she was upset.
4 of 9 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on July 11, 2008 10:21 AM
I said in the last comment that EVERYTHING is scripted on this show but there is one exception. When Tila told Bo's friends to get naked to melt the ice, I believe I saw real horror in the eyes of that guy who left his shirt on.
5 of 9 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on July 11, 2008 10:24 AM
I wondered if it was just me that noticed Kristy's boobs were bigger. Guess she's trying to get them to match her ass.
6 of 9 | Posted by blazergirl | Posted on July 11, 2008 1:18 PM
I liked Tila's pathetic whimpering: "What's wrong with me? Why can't I find love?"
Hmm...maybe because you're looking for love on a cheap n' sleazy reality show, you idiot.
Thanks for the recaps, Hayhor. Not sure if I can stomach a spinoff from a spinoff of a Flava Flav show...
7 of 9 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 11, 2008 2:33 PM
I dunno, I think Tila was really pissed off. I mean come on...you know how this show works....2 people are left at the end and one gets picked. I don't understand why Kristy didn't back out before the last pick. Everyone knows how these shows work! And she gets mad at Tila for doing the same thing to everyone....duh! it's her show idiot...that's how it's supposed to work! Did the producers not explain it to you?
Kristy had many chances to back out. If she wanted more time, then why did she end it with Tila? They could've still continued seeing other. But yeah, i'm naive....i know everything is really set up. But honestly....Tila did really looked pissed at the reunion.
And I don't know why no one likes Bo. I didn't watch this season that much, but he seemed like a nice guy....and he's cute too. Well maybe it's a good thing Tila didn't pick him.....i think he can do waayy better then her.
Anyone think Kristy is gonna get her own show??
8 of 9 | Posted by jozeyg | Posted on July 14, 2008 10:40 AM
Sorry a bit late here...
I believe what Tila said as she stormed off was "Shut your trashhole, bitch."
9 of 9 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on July 23, 2008 6:31 AM