After a commercial, Bo finally gets a chance to sit down face to face with Tila and find out why she didn't pick him. She tells him what we all basically already knew, which is that she felt sorry for him after the fight, wanted to protect him and "fell in love." But she says, she needed more "fire" or in other words, for Bobo to not be so damn boring. Bobo's mother meanwhile, is on the sidelines not looking pleased.
The obscene amount of pink on Kelley is more offensive than Tila.
In actuality, it was Bobo blowing it in Cancun by acting like a baby. She also said that he was awkward around groups of people, and that she always has lots of people around her. Bo insists, "but it's not your boyfriends and girlfriends." Tila looks up to the corner and tries to pretend that's not true.
Totally a visual cue for a lie.
After Bo gets over the fact that Tila isn't taking him back, it's Kristy's turn to hear Tila talk crazy. She comes out telling Kristy how hard it was for her to go through all of that, then once Kristy asks her if she was in a relationship, she gets all gangsta and flips out on Kristy. To me, it seems like she's overacting a bit. In fact, I really don't think Tila cares that much, as it's really obvious that she's trying to make herself cry and talking in circles. It's especially ironic since Tila keeps calling Kristy a "fake bitch." But maybe I'm a cynic.
Give this bitch an Emmy.
Kristy makes the point that Tila did the same thing to 30 people, and "what goes around comes around." She gets booed by the crowd, but I gotta go with Kristy on this one. Still, I have a really tough time caring when Tila clearly doesn't give a shit, and is trying to act so hard like she does.
I really think Kristy was thinking, at this point, "Is this bitch for real?"
Tila then starts reading a card from Kristy that says a bunch of nice things people say when they're trying to win a reality show. Seriously, it's cliche after cliche. "You're an inspiration...You're an amazing woman...Thanks for being you." Kristy, says that she meant it all and things changed when she started doubting herself. Tila, meanwhile, is still pretending not to be satisfied.
"Pout. Pout. Pout. Pout." (Internal monologue)
Stout challenges Tila with the same shit Kristy's been saying - basically, if Tila gave Bo a key week after week, and Tila didn't pick him, then why can't it be ok for Kristy to not pick Tila. TT responds with some bullshit about having respect and sticking with one side. Kind of like a slutty version of the president.
"My fellow Americans, these are my fake tits."
Tila makes a point when Kristy says she was confused in Cancun, but on their date it was the most romantic night ever. Kristy says yes both are true, but Tila being "the decider", she doesn't really see nuance. She tells Kristy that she's "confused and needs help." And Kristy agrees, that yes, she is confused. Tila's basically got no more argument, so she just starts disparaging and threatening Kristy with violence. But instead of going for the real Joan Collins and slapping a bitch, she just storms off the set, screaming, "You're a trashole bitch," to Kristy as she walks away.
They'll be lining up for a Shot at Love III after that.
The best part of the whole show is the last 30 seconds when, as Stout teases us out, Kristy starts flipping out about what a bitch Tila is. Meanwhile, the camera, perfectly placed down the hallway, almost as if it knew she was going to do this, catches Tila knocking over a rack of clothes and slamming the door to her dressing room. Kristy, meanwhile, is happy for any distress her dumping of Tila may have caused, and the show signs off with her saying, "You want the truth!? She's a bitch." Couldn't have written it any better myself.
Although, the acting could've used some work.
Well gasmii, that's it for now. I hope you enjoyed making fun of these poor, aimless idiots as much as I did. Thanks to all of you for reading my lame dick jokes and for the commenters who complimented me on them. After a couple of weeks off, I'll be back to recap New York Goes Hollywood, which makes me feel about as joyful as Sister Patterson after a bottle of church wine. Hope to see you then!
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Comments (9)
Great recap.
The last two shows had me ROFL - a lot. I think tila was genuinely surprised when Kristy turned her down... and just as unaware of how selfish she is.
I loved Kristy for what she did. (I thought the booing audience was - like Kristy - obviously stacked. They reminded me of the lemmings in an infomercial.)
Bo trashed a good life for a shot at cheezy fame. Let him serve as a lesson in Sunday schools everywhere.
If this is the last we see of Tila (and her TV show) the world will be a little better off. Enough, already.
1 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on July 11, 2008 8:58 AM
That was an excellent recap to a finale. I don't think MTV would want to do "A Shot At Love III" after she got sold out on her own show.
2 of 9 | Posted by nerrawllehctim | Posted on July 11, 2008 8:58 AM
Fire @ Will, you're totally right. Kristy deserves props for being honest (I think she was trying to convince herself she liked Tila, but then realized she didn't and nipped it in the bud).
Bo did give up a good life for this, but in all honesty, as much as I made fun of him he seems like an alright guy, just a little naive. Hopefully things work out for him.
And yes, the audience was totally dragged in from a Ronco presentation.
Nerrawllehctim, I would agree except that for some reason this bobblehead gets some serious ratings. I'd put the odds at a season 3 right now at 60/40.
Thanks again for reading you beautiful commenters! Don't forget to check out New York Loves Hollywood in August!
3 of 9 | Posted by HayHor | Posted on July 11, 2008 9:12 AM
EVERYTHING about this show is scripted. I think when Tila was turning her face away from the camera (trying to look upset when Kristy dumped her) she was really turning her face away cause she was about to crack up laughing.
But props to Kristy for doing a much, much, much better acting job than Tila. Kristy almost had me believing she was upset.
4 of 9 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on July 11, 2008 10:21 AM
I said in the last comment that EVERYTHING is scripted on this show but there is one exception. When Tila told Bo's friends to get naked to melt the ice, I believe I saw real horror in the eyes of that guy who left his shirt on.
5 of 9 | Posted by LisaMay | Posted on July 11, 2008 10:24 AM
I wondered if it was just me that noticed Kristy's boobs were bigger. Guess she's trying to get them to match her ass.
6 of 9 | Posted by blazergirl | Posted on July 11, 2008 1:18 PM
I liked Tila's pathetic whimpering: "What's wrong with me? Why can't I find love?"
Hmm...maybe because you're looking for love on a cheap n' sleazy reality show, you idiot.
Thanks for the recaps, Hayhor. Not sure if I can stomach a spinoff from a spinoff of a Flava Flav show...
7 of 9 | Posted by itchy | Posted on July 11, 2008 2:33 PM
I dunno, I think Tila was really pissed off. I mean come on...you know how this show works....2 people are left at the end and one gets picked. I don't understand why Kristy didn't back out before the last pick. Everyone knows how these shows work! And she gets mad at Tila for doing the same thing to everyone....duh! it's her show idiot...that's how it's supposed to work! Did the producers not explain it to you?
Kristy had many chances to back out. If she wanted more time, then why did she end it with Tila? They could've still continued seeing other. But yeah, i'm naive....i know everything is really set up. But honestly....Tila did really looked pissed at the reunion.
And I don't know why no one likes Bo. I didn't watch this season that much, but he seemed like a nice guy....and he's cute too. Well maybe it's a good thing Tila didn't pick him.....i think he can do waayy better then her.
Anyone think Kristy is gonna get her own show??
8 of 9 | Posted by jozeyg | Posted on July 14, 2008 10:40 AM
Sorry a bit late here...
I believe what Tila said as she stormed off was "Shut your trashhole, bitch."
9 of 9 | Posted by snootchy bootches | Posted on July 23, 2008 6:31 AM