Guido and Amanda are waiting for Tila by the hot tub in their bathing suits, Amanda looking uncomfortable to be sitting in a bikini on national television, and Guido posing like he's a Playgirl centerfold. Guido tells us he's excited about the date, because he's definitely up for a threesome - and he tends to prefer the girl-boy-girl kind to the girl-boy-boy kind. Even though it's a close call. Honey, Amanda could eat you alive in two bites. I wouldn't fuck with her.
Oh thank God, welcome back Italy Speedo!
Tila shows up in an itsy bitsy bikini, looking incredible. Whatever you think about Tila, her body is insane. She asks Amanda and Guido the standard family questions, and Amanda reveals she has six adopted brothers and sisters, all of which have special needs. If Amanda gets a hometown date, I hope her siblings aren't exploited because even I won't sink that low. Guido admits he's never brought a girl home before - just men - and that telling his parents that Tila's bi may be an issue. But he quickly tells her that he'll just tell his parents that Tila's got so much love she shares it with everyone, both boys and girls. But don't worry, that doesn't make her a dirty whore at all - just so damn loveable!
He then claims that he's been with 50 women. Tila rightfully calls bullshit on that, and Guido frantically tries to insist he's not a diseased perv while Amanda hides a laugh and tells us that Guido was making her look super cool by comparison. Very true. He would make Spencer Pratt look super cool by comparison. Tila and Amanda begin kissing and fondling, while Guido intensely stares at them and totally does not give off that perv vibe he was just denying. He shoves a glass of champagne in their faces and meekly says "cheers" a few times, and it's one of the saddest/funniest things ever. Oh, Guido, you crazy bastard. Mark my words, this kid's going to get a spin off by the end of this.
Would you mind moving to the left, I can't quite see her nipple. Also, a couple moans would be fantastic. There you go!
The next morning, the group is in the kitchen rehashing their dates from the night before. Ryan jokingly tells Guido he should have gone in for the triple kiss with Tila and Amanda, and Amanda throws up in her mouth a little and barely fights it back down. I really wish he would have tried that, because we know Amanda would have totally beat his ass. Tila strolls in and awkwardly says she just wants to relax with everyone by the pool today. Her delivery is much more garbled and nervous than usual, suggesting to me that she does know what's coming...
Sure enough, as Tila's repeating over and over that she just wants a relaxing, chill day, we see LK hiking up the hill to Tila's door. LK's muffin top tells us she screwed up, and now she wants a second chance. She rings the doorbell, and Dani answers it, hugging LK happily and shouting that it's LK. The group in the kitchen doesn't look too pleased, and Tila grabs her beer and begins chugging before turning to greet LK. That's usually not a good sign.
After giving her a hug, Tila leads a sobbing LK outside, and LK begins apologizing and saying she made a mistake. Tila lightly chastises her, pointing out that LK cut and ran when things got tough, and even though Bobby got his ass kicked by an angry hick, he never left. LK admits she screwed up and says in a wobbly voice that everyone deserves a second chance.
Meanwhile, the group in the kitchen is speculating on what LK's return means for eliminations. Amanda is particularly worried, because she thinks LK is her main competition. I agree that Tila seemed to like LK more than Amanda, but I would definitely put Dani as the biggest female threat. In fact, Dani seems to be the only one okay with LK returning, pointing out that Tila should be with the person she likes the most, and LK's presence isn't going to change how she feels. Amanda struggles to keep her fear in check, whining that it's not fair and LK's return could confuse Tila.
If LK comes back, I'll just have to finish the job TV started.
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Comments (10)
FUNNY RECAP! GOod job.
I was so sad to see Guido go! I really wanted to meet his "italian" family. Am I the only one or has Tila never actually made out with Guido throughout the entire show? Tell me if I'm wrong.
Next episode looks awesome.
1 of 10 | Posted by IheartDumBTV | Posted on November 25, 2007 7:01 PM
Now that I think about it I don't remember Tila ever making out with Guido. Trippy. If she was truly looking for love, I wonder why she kept him so long? I mean, she had to have known she wasn't sexually attracted to him from a while ago.
Love to hear your Turkey day went as "normal" as mine, LoLo. It consisted of my older sister calling the entire family a bunch of cheap asshole bastards and refusing to bring my nieces to dinner at my mother's. What caused this you may ask? In her opinion the turkey wasn't big enough and "...who the fuck eats ham for Thanksgiving..."
I heart the holidays.
2 of 10 | Posted by uglycutie | Posted on November 25, 2007 10:04 PM
I love this show so much, but the recaps are a close second. In the meantime, I feel like Dani is most definitely in the lead and everyone on the show simply can't see it. Is it her androgyny that makes her invisible to everyone but Tila? Also, in total Mtv editing fashion, it sounded like in this episode Tila was dubbed in saying that Dani is "the best of both worlds." Foreshadowing much?
3 of 10 | Posted by jito | Posted on November 25, 2007 10:07 PM
Since I can't post a URL in the comments, I thought I would point you to the direction of dlisted.com, LoLo. Apparently MTV has sent out a casting notice "for a new show called "That's Amore!" The show will star Domeico Nessi who was recently booted from A Shot At Love with Tila Tequila."
More Italy Speedo? Sweet.
4 of 10 | Posted by LeeH | Posted on November 26, 2007 12:31 PM
I think Dani is under the radar because the others don't get to see all the intimate scenes we do.
I think it totally makes sense that Guido was written off early to work on a spin off.
He clearly was being kept around for some reason not related to chemistry.
He may have inked the new deal even before Tila started taping.
I don't think Guido is a "real" person - just an actor playing a character.
5 of 10 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on November 26, 2007 12:57 PM
Absolutely LOVED the photo captions ... I agree with Fire@Will about Dani being discounted (or perhaps they don't want to see her as a threat?)
Although Guido was entertaining in this context, I don't know if he's got enough to support an entire show ... ??? Guess we will see!
Great recap :)
6 of 10 | Posted by chelle | Posted on November 26, 2007 2:47 PM
Sorry to hear about your interesting holidays, Lolo. But your recap was hilarious; definitely the highlight of my day!
This may sound stupid, but maybe the guys aren't worried about Dani cause she's not totally masculine competition and the girls aren't worried because she's not total female competition. But then again, I think that's why she is the main competition.
Also, I really don't see what Tila sees in Ryan. They seem to have no chemistry, which isn't surprising. At least Guido would've been entertaining!
Anyway, keep up the great recaps. Can't wait till tomorrow's episode!
7 of 10 | Posted by hotteach | Posted on November 26, 2007 7:57 PM
I'm sure that Guido was kept around for the drama factor, but then a part of me knows that this show is sooo low budget anyway (have you seen the message in a bottles are either in Tila's or some random person's messy handwriting and not printed like on other shows??) that if Guido truly is from Milan the production team wasn't going to pay the $$ to fly them to Italy. I don't think Southwest does transcontinental flights.
8 of 10 | Posted by LNNC92 | Posted on November 27, 2007 6:25 AM
I think your recaps are great, but just one thing: I don't understand the hate on Domenico's "size." I understand that him putting himself out there by wearing skimpy things makes himself open to be a target, but for a white man, Domenico is right on par, or about average size down there. I don't know if Lolo is a black woman or what her experience level is, but judging from the bulge in his pants, Domenico is about what most white men are.
9 of 10 | Posted by seraphmoon | Posted on November 27, 2007 11:41 AM
Hey guys! Thanks for reading, and for the great comments as always! I hope to have this week's recap up sometime tomorrow.
Uglycutie, your Thanksgiving story totally cracked me up. That's something I could see going down in my family as well.
I do think Guido was kept around partly by producers, but I also suspect that Tila kept him around because he entertained her. From what I can tell, she's been pretty set on Bobby as her top boy for a long time now, so why not keep around the goofy kid that makes her laugh over some cheeseball that's going to maul and bore her?
LeeH -- thanks for the info! I'm not surprised that he's getting a spin-off, but that definitely made my day :) I also wonder if he's really strong enough to carry his own show, Chelle... but you know I'll be watching regardless!
And Seraphmoon -- I didn't mean to give the impression that I was hating on Guido's size, or on him in general. It just amuses me that he flaunts himself and talks about himself so often, as if he's the second coming (no pun intended) of Dirk Diggler. He does look normal from the fleeting glances I send in that direction, but from the way he talks you'd think there was a Boeing 777 in his pants. That's all :)
10 of 10 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on November 29, 2007 8:37 AM