This week on A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, the gang heads down to Cancun, Mexico for a series of group and individual dates, and Tila narrows down the field to her final two. Also, one member of the terrible trio turns on their comrades and begins a whole lot of shit talking. Who stays, who goes, and who's debating a sex change, after the jump!
Here's a hint
As the final three are packing up for their trip to Mexico, Tila drunkenly and haltingly tells us that this is their final chance to really impress her. The girls talk about how they weren't too sad to see Butterface Ryan get the boot. Bobby, on the other hand, is a little bummed his boy is gone, and makes a comment about those with the innie genitalia outnumbering those with the outie genitalia. Manly Dani calls him out on being threatened, which he vehemently denies while cowering in the corner. The group gathers the suitcases and heads out, Dani telling us she's confident in her standing in the competition, and poor Bobby revealing he's never been out of the country before. By the end of this episode, I'm half-convinced he's never been out of his house before.
They arrive in Mexico and skip into their hotel like it's a special Cancun episode of "Three's Company." Bobby tells us this place is a big step up from the Motel 6, and nearly comes in his pants when he sees there's an actual, real-life elevator. Once in the room, he continues to make a sticky mess as he exclaims that he's never seen a hotel with a kitchen, or a bed, or a door. It's all so fucking crazy! Pamela Amanda voices what we're all thinking when she tells us that Bobo is kind of a hick.
So you're saying this magic box, like, moves?!
Tila arrives to announce how Mexico is going to work - during the day they will have fun group activities, but then she will have intimate-intimate private time with one of them each night (more formally known as sexual intercourse). They sit down for drinks, and Tila begins talking to Dani about how great Dani's coworkers and family are. Amanda fake smiles during their exchange and tells us that all Dani wants is to know what she's doing from day to day, and that's so different from Tila's goals. Amanda, honey, you're a realtor. How are your goals a better match? Bobby and Tila then talk about his hicksville background, while Dani expresses doubts that Tila is truly interested in Bobby. Finally, Amanda and Tila talk about getting to see Amanda's serious side, and Bobby tells us he can't see them together because Amanda is a circus freak, specifically the bearded lady. I could see that - just take those estrogen pills away from her and we should get some muttonchops within a week. Before going to commercial, Amanda confides in us that her goal on this trip to talk as much shit about Dani and Bobby as possible. Charming. Let's see how that strat works out. Who else is calling right now that the Amazon is heading back to the jungle?
Tila announces that their first fun group activity is the ol' tropical vacation reality TV show favorite - pissing off dolphins. They jump in the water and start doing the clichéd dancing, riding, and terrorizing activities, while Tila says none of them had even seen dolphins before! Seriously? They're not ligers or thestrals, people. I'm sure Bobby in particular was like "Whoa these are some huge fucking fish!" Anyway, Tila goes on to describe the experience as orgasmic, and Bobby says it changed his life, which strikes me as extremely sad. Other things that changed Bobby's life: "Gigli", McRib sandwiches, and "PopoZão."
I think Amanda's going to stay afloat with or without that life vest
Afterwards, the dolphins slink off to figure out that whole attacking thing Bachelorette Jenni was so worried about, and Tila announces that Amanda will be the first dater to taste her Tequila. Dani reflexively makes a disgusted face and is like, DUDE, GROSS. You can tell she doesn't want Amanda's sloppy seconds, and who can blame her? Having to go in there wearing a hazard suit is kind of a turn-off.
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Comments (14)
Your screencaps are the funniest...as is your recap.
I'm still laughing over the
"pop quiz, hot shot."
1 of 14 | Posted by Tristen | Posted on December 6, 2007 3:28 PM
How could you not mention that during the swimming with dolphins thing Amanda's underpants fell off while the the back-ground music sang, "They can't take away my dignity!?" Best use of music ever!
Great screencaps as usual- and great recap.
Dani sooo has this thing in the bag.
2 of 14 | Posted by fomhoire | Posted on December 6, 2007 5:03 PM
I don't really follow this show, so I don't faithfully read the recaps, but I just wanted to echo the above posters' sentiment about your screenshot selections & caption writing. Dani's faces are priceless...
I don't want to embarrass my recappers, so if there's any way you could just offer some sort of blanket tutorial with mandatory attendance for every new & current recapper, that would be fab.
Kudos!
3 of 14 | Posted by sane jane | Posted on December 6, 2007 10:10 PM
Great recap, I have to agree that Dani is way to good for this show and Tila. Am I the only one who thinks Tila is really unattractive? Her mouth looks like its caving in and she really has a bland personality. I dont see the appeal in this troll at all.
4 of 14 | Posted by Poopsicle | Posted on December 7, 2007 6:16 AM
No, I think Tila is way unattractive as well. She has such an unusually large head! Great recap though! I don't know...I still think she'll choose Bobby!
5 of 14 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on December 7, 2007 7:02 AM
Simon Says!!! Oh my God, I'm laughing and laughing.
Great recap. I can't wait to see the swill Mtv puts on after this gem of a show ends.
6 of 14 | Posted by jito | Posted on December 7, 2007 10:09 AM
Did anyone else notice that New Kids on the Block was playing in the background during Tila and Dannys date? Nope, I'm the only loser? Either way, it cracked me up.
7 of 14 | Posted by remy111 | Posted on December 7, 2007 10:13 AM
I agree..Tila is not attractive. Her eyeliner is very bad. Someone should show her how to fix that! I think she will pick Dani. Do I think she is good enough for either of them? NO? I think she will get bored with them. Neither one is a party hard person like she claims to be, so I think that is a big difference that they have. She should have picked someone who is a lot like her. I can't wait to see who she picks and can't wait to see the reunion show to see if they will still be together. I think this is some crazy way for her to increase her celebrity wanna-be ass.
She sucks!!
8 of 14 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on December 7, 2007 10:43 AM
hahha.....I love the Three's Company reference. The new Chrissy, Jack and Janet.
I think Tila is cute...but she kinda talks weird. If you notice her jaw always moves to the side when she talks, kinda like how Bobby Brown talks. Umm, crack?
9 of 14 | Posted by jozeyg | Posted on December 7, 2007 11:08 AM
Great recapper - agreed!
Dani will be chosen, unless the O.J. jury makes the selection.
Bobby and Amanda were already a tie for distant "who cares - certainly not Tila"?
Dani or Bobby - the relationship won't last (join the "Free Dani!" movement now).
America loves Dani. (Now THERE is a show idea - with the overwhelming affection people have shown here, why not?)
10 of 14 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 7, 2007 11:30 AM
"Other things that happened in Bobby's life, Gigle, McRib Sandwiches, and Popozao" LoLo you rock my world!
Bobby was such an idiot this episode (not that he isn't usually) I found myself wondering how old he is - if someone told me he was like 17 - I wouldn't be surprised!!
Oh and I totally agree about that scene where Mandy's bottoms came off - freaking HILARIOUS! Poor dolphins they so did not need to see that!
I know there are rumblings about Tila maybe faking the whole thing for publicity or whatever - but I really felt like her tears when she was having dinner w/Dani were real - I mean, maybe she was crying because she likes Dani, or maybe she feels guilty about pretending to give a rats ass when she doesn't or maybe she realized how fugly her tatoos are? Whatever way you look at it, they seemed like real tears to me -
And seriously - Which one is Dani?
11 of 14 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on December 7, 2007 11:54 AM
carmelicious: That was funny! I forgot she had fugly tatoos!
12 of 14 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on December 7, 2007 3:00 PM
so i watched the shot at love hangover show this weekend and it turns out amanda is just under 5'9! the people on that show must be super short or something bc with heels shed probably be around 6'0ish...
13 of 14 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on December 10, 2007 6:41 AM
"The ladies walk in, and Bobby snarks that it's a little gross to stroll up to the breakfast table with your panties in your hand. Okay, I'll give him that one - that was not the type of cream he wanted for his morning coffee."
God, GAG! That caught me off guard. I'm sooo not eating for the rest of the day..... awesome recap though!
14 of 14 | Posted by MargotTenenbaum | Posted on December 11, 2007 11:54 AM