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Amanda gets ready for her date, making sure her makeup is clown-whore heavy and her hair is suitably fried and tattered looking. Amanda, darling, I hope you get a makeover after seeing yourself on this show. As she's ruining her looks, she taunts Bobby and Dani about having to stay home. Dani takes it in stride, but Bobby bitches a little bit and pouts jealously. He really is a man-child. Assuming they're our final two, Dani's too good for Tila, but Tila would bend Bobby over and then kick his ass to the curb within a week. Not that that wouldn't amuse me.

Over dinner, Tila and Amanda begin talking about how Tila's the dominant type, and Amanda's the submissive type. For Tila's sake I hope Amanda's submissive, for Amanda could break Tila in two just using her left boob. She could swing that thing around like a nunchuck and that'd be the end. True story. The conversation then segues to Amanda dropping the "Dani's promiscuous" bomb we've seen in all the previews. As Tila sits there trying to hide surprise, Amanda awkwardly - as in seems like she's making this shit up as she goes along - says Dani cuddles with everyone. That whore! Slap a scarlet A on that bitch right this instant, MTV! Amanda goes on to criticize Dani's "idea of life," saying she's too narrowly focused on work, and then mocks Bobby for being a dumb hick. Tila giggles throughout but doesn't really encourage Amanda. Ugh, malicious gossip is Not. Attractive. Kind of like her face. (Yes, I'm going to hell, I've got the luxury accommodations already booked).

Tila brings Amanda upstairs to her room, where they sip champagne and eat dessert before climbing into a bathtub together. They start playing doctor, and do something with dolphin noises that's deeply disturbing, before making out hardcore. I still don't see any chemistry with these two despite Tila lying in between Amanda's open legs. Which, by the way, was a tad unnecessary to see.

Better get that Hazmat suit ready, Dani

The next morning, Bobby and Dani are waiting for Tila and Amanda to return from their overnight date, and Bobby's still whining like a little girl who lost his dolly. The ladies walk in, and Bobby snarks that it's a little gross to stroll up to the breakfast table with your panties in your hand. Okay, I'll give him that one - that was not the type of cream he wanted for his morning coffee.

Dani and Bobby give them a joking the third degree about their date, but Bobby becomes more and more agitated until he just starts snapping out random veiled insults. First he lectures Tila that dates are supposed to end that same night and not the next morning (evidently Bobby never went to college), and then he criticizes her for not eating enough. He complains to us that Tila and Amanda were being rude and immature (when in fact they barely said anything about their date), which is hilarious because he is acting like a jealous child himself. Tila finally snaps back and calls him an asshole a few times. They patch things up by the end of the meal, but I have the feeling that if Bobby makes the final two, it'll only be because MTV made Tila have one of each gender.

Tila announces that for their next group date they'll have to "hang in there" and then prances out of the room, leaving the three to debate what that will entail. Bobby reveals he's afraid of heights, as he keeps shoveling food down his throat. Probably not the best idea to go into this with a stuffed belly, you idiot. A little while later, the group arrives somewhere in the jungle to do a zip line/canopy tour. Okay, I've actually done one of these in Puerto Vallarta, and it was an amazing experience. Highly recommended. That plug for Mexico's tourism aside, Bobby begins complaining when he's still on the ground putting on his harness, but it turns out Amanda is much more scared than he is, just not obnoxious enough to bitch about it beforehand. They have to climb a tall, wooden structure to get to their jumping off point, and poor Amanda is shaking and whimpering the whole way up. Dani of course is completely unfazed and scales the structure like a monkey while encouraging the others. Once up there though, she botches a "Titanic" reference which really surprises me since you know she hearts Leo 4 eva.

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Posted in Tila Tequila by LoLo at 12:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (14)
Last Comment: MargotTenenbaum on Dec 11, 2007 11:54 AM.