Dani goes down the zip line first, shrieking and giggling, having an awesome time. Amanda can barely bring herself to look, and tells us she was crying a little bit because she was so scared. The patient guide begins leading her forward, but when he takes off her safety line to attach it to the actual zip line, she begins hyperventilating a bit. Bobby immediately mocks her to us, doing an impression and telling us she needed to change her diaper. Dude, whose ass sat at breakfast - after being a huge douchebag to Tila - and whined that he was so scawed? Has Bobby always sucked this much at life, or is it just really out of control this episode? I'm really hating him right now.
Pop quiz, hot shot: Which one's Dani, and which one's Bobby?
Finally Amanda jumps off the platform and she survives, as do Bobby and Tila who quickly follow her down. Afterwards, they sit down to eat and Tila announces that Bobby is getting date number 2. Swell. She mentions that Dani didn't bring any date clothes - and Dani quickly interjects that she'll just go naked - so Tila's arranged for the ladies to go shopping. Dani makes the same face all guys make when presented with that activity.
Amanda drags a kicking and screaming Dani out to the mall while Bobby gets ready for his date. He proudly tells us that he was a "bad boy" this morning at breakfast, almost as if he was being an asshole on purpose to impress Tila. True, many women like a little sass from their men, but implying that she's a slut and then that she's anorexic isn't exactly the smoothest game, player.
Bobby shows up for their date, waddling like he's stuffed a sock down his jeans. Which I would not put past him. They sit down for dinner, and Tila tells us that there's a lot she could show and teach to sheltered, naïve Bobby. Anyone else get the "pet project" vibe rather than the romance vibe from this? It's almost like she looks at him as a toy. They make out a bit, and eventually she invites him to her room and he waddles up there with her. Because we already got the preview downstairs, they merely close the door to the room and fade to black.
At the mall, Amanda tells us she doesn't give a rat's ass if Dani actually looks good for this date, and she immediately pulls Dani into a frilly store and hands her a few inches of fabric, insisting it's so cute. Neither Dani nor I are sure if that's a top or coochie shorts or what, but it's not good. Amanda continues to shove girly clothes at Dani, who looks more and more traumatized by the minute, complaining to us that she didn't know what the fuck was going on. Dani gets half-hysterical after seeing herself in a hideous plaid shirt and tells Amanda that she is fired as her personal shopper. It's a really cute scene, making me wish we had seen more of them hanging out casually throughout the show.
The horror of this shirt transcends all sexual preference lines
The next morning, Dani has recovered from the trauma and is excited because she knows that today's her day. Tila and Bobby stroll in, and a little awkwardness ensues again, mostly because Bobby's smirking at them smugly and Tila fuels the fire by commenting on the tension. Dani toasts to what will be Tila's best day in Mexico yet, and suggests that instead of breakfast they have brunch tomorrow because Tila will be so worn out from the night of lovin' ahead of her. Amanda bitches to us that Dani's confidence pisses her off, which I get, you know what's more annoying? Being an Amazonian backstabber.
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Comments (14)
Your screencaps are the funniest...as is your recap.
I'm still laughing over the
"pop quiz, hot shot."
1 of 14 | Posted by Tristen | Posted on December 6, 2007 3:28 PM
How could you not mention that during the swimming with dolphins thing Amanda's underpants fell off while the the back-ground music sang, "They can't take away my dignity!?" Best use of music ever!
Great screencaps as usual- and great recap.
Dani sooo has this thing in the bag.
2 of 14 | Posted by fomhoire | Posted on December 6, 2007 5:03 PM
I don't really follow this show, so I don't faithfully read the recaps, but I just wanted to echo the above posters' sentiment about your screenshot selections & caption writing. Dani's faces are priceless...
I don't want to embarrass my recappers, so if there's any way you could just offer some sort of blanket tutorial with mandatory attendance for every new & current recapper, that would be fab.
Kudos!
3 of 14 | Posted by sane jane | Posted on December 6, 2007 10:10 PM
Great recap, I have to agree that Dani is way to good for this show and Tila. Am I the only one who thinks Tila is really unattractive? Her mouth looks like its caving in and she really has a bland personality. I dont see the appeal in this troll at all.
4 of 14 | Posted by Poopsicle | Posted on December 7, 2007 6:16 AM
No, I think Tila is way unattractive as well. She has such an unusually large head! Great recap though! I don't know...I still think she'll choose Bobby!
5 of 14 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on December 7, 2007 7:02 AM
Simon Says!!! Oh my God, I'm laughing and laughing.
Great recap. I can't wait to see the swill Mtv puts on after this gem of a show ends.
6 of 14 | Posted by jito | Posted on December 7, 2007 10:09 AM
Did anyone else notice that New Kids on the Block was playing in the background during Tila and Dannys date? Nope, I'm the only loser? Either way, it cracked me up.
7 of 14 | Posted by remy111 | Posted on December 7, 2007 10:13 AM
I agree..Tila is not attractive. Her eyeliner is very bad. Someone should show her how to fix that! I think she will pick Dani. Do I think she is good enough for either of them? NO? I think she will get bored with them. Neither one is a party hard person like she claims to be, so I think that is a big difference that they have. She should have picked someone who is a lot like her. I can't wait to see who she picks and can't wait to see the reunion show to see if they will still be together. I think this is some crazy way for her to increase her celebrity wanna-be ass.
She sucks!!
8 of 14 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on December 7, 2007 10:43 AM
hahha.....I love the Three's Company reference. The new Chrissy, Jack and Janet.
I think Tila is cute...but she kinda talks weird. If you notice her jaw always moves to the side when she talks, kinda like how Bobby Brown talks. Umm, crack?
9 of 14 | Posted by jozeyg | Posted on December 7, 2007 11:08 AM
Great recapper - agreed!
Dani will be chosen, unless the O.J. jury makes the selection.
Bobby and Amanda were already a tie for distant "who cares - certainly not Tila"?
Dani or Bobby - the relationship won't last (join the "Free Dani!" movement now).
America loves Dani. (Now THERE is a show idea - with the overwhelming affection people have shown here, why not?)
10 of 14 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 7, 2007 11:30 AM
"Other things that happened in Bobby's life, Gigle, McRib Sandwiches, and Popozao" LoLo you rock my world!
Bobby was such an idiot this episode (not that he isn't usually) I found myself wondering how old he is - if someone told me he was like 17 - I wouldn't be surprised!!
Oh and I totally agree about that scene where Mandy's bottoms came off - freaking HILARIOUS! Poor dolphins they so did not need to see that!
I know there are rumblings about Tila maybe faking the whole thing for publicity or whatever - but I really felt like her tears when she was having dinner w/Dani were real - I mean, maybe she was crying because she likes Dani, or maybe she feels guilty about pretending to give a rats ass when she doesn't or maybe she realized how fugly her tatoos are? Whatever way you look at it, they seemed like real tears to me -
And seriously - Which one is Dani?
11 of 14 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on December 7, 2007 11:54 AM
carmelicious: That was funny! I forgot she had fugly tatoos!
12 of 14 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on December 7, 2007 3:00 PM
so i watched the shot at love hangover show this weekend and it turns out amanda is just under 5'9! the people on that show must be super short or something bc with heels shed probably be around 6'0ish...
13 of 14 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on December 10, 2007 6:41 AM
"The ladies walk in, and Bobby snarks that it's a little gross to stroll up to the breakfast table with your panties in your hand. Okay, I'll give him that one - that was not the type of cream he wanted for his morning coffee."
God, GAG! That caught me off guard. I'm sooo not eating for the rest of the day..... awesome recap though!
14 of 14 | Posted by MargotTenenbaum | Posted on December 11, 2007 11:54 AM