Here we are guys, the last episode of A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila. Tonight it's all down to Dani for the ladies versus Bobby for the boys. Let's join Tila as she makes what she calls the most difficult decision of her life. See, I would have thought the most difficult decision was deciding what kind of alcohol to name herself after. I still think she should have gone with Beefeaters.
Zima?
The episode begins with Dani and Bobby meeting Tila at a recording studio, so they can learn a little bit more about her. After all, she's a musician, she writes her own stuff, and spends a lot of time in the studio. Hmm, writes her own music, you say? Let's take a look at these lyrics: "I ain't tryin to f*ck ya man / Lookin' at my Myspace, lotion in his hand / When he look at you he be thinking about me / Take your Benz back bitch, now I got the key." Tila, honey, I'd advise no longer advertising you wrote these, mmkay?
Dani and Bobby walk in and Tila greets them both with a big hug. Dani tells us something about Tila glowing, but I'm so distracted by Dani's heavy eye makeup that I don't really pay attention. She doesn't look bad, exactly, but it's just really strange. I was less surprised to see Bobby in drag in Mexico than I am to see Dani with makeup on here. Maybe that says something about Bobby...
Tila plays them her "hit" single "I Love U" - which also happens to be the theme music for this show - and seductively lip synchs while Dani and I laugh at her. Dani tells us that she loves Tila's music and flat-out lies to us when she says she would totally buy the album. Yes, I can so see Dani blasting that at the firehouse, can't you? Tila then announces that she wants Dani and Bobby to both write lyrics to the instrumental portion (read: over synthesized respite from Tila's shouting of obscenities) of the song. Dani's totally down for that, but Bobby immediately begins whining. Shocker.
This guy worked with Paris, Jessica and Tila. Someone get the pitchforks and torches ready.
After some time for writing, Bobby's up first. He begins by whispering like a serial killer before busting out some bad white-boy, rhythmless rap and calling himself Bobby B. It's awful and honestly I think I'd rather listen to Adam from The Real World: Paris than Bobby. Not like I want to listen to Adam. Playing tapes of these two over and over would be more effective than Chinese water torture. Dani squeals with laughter and announces that Bobby's rap was "so gay." Glad she said it and not me.
Dani gets up for her turn, and also begins with a spoken part before launching into her rap - which she basically screams. I totally jumped in surprise and began cracking up, for it's so out of character. The lyrics actually aren't that bad, and she definitely has more rhythm than Bobby B: "When I came on this trip I didn't expect much / I thought I'd come here with a bunch of sluts / I thought I'd get drunk and maybe hook up / Who'd have thought that I'd fall in love?" Tila tells us that Dani rocked it, and Dani gloats a bit about kicking Bobby's ass while he tries to not start crying.
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Comments (13)
Tila knows which way her bread is buttered: there is way no way in a paycheck she'd have ever settled on a girl.
Meanwhile, Dani's pulled out the extraordinary feat of escaping tv's sewerest show with class and dignity.
1 of 13 | Posted by hainman | Posted on December 22, 2007 10:21 AM
I wanted Dani to win, but really, I'm kind of glad she didn't - she is WAY too good for Tila.
2 of 13 | Posted by gradschoolgirl | Posted on December 22, 2007 10:34 AM
Was there any surprise that she picked Bobby? I dont think tila could handle Dani and a relationship with her, so she went with the safer choice.
Im sure Dani is having no problem finding someone on the same level as herself.
By the way Bobby looked so much better on that aftershow :)
3 of 13 | Posted by amarie_luvsTV | Posted on December 22, 2007 10:44 AM
Dani seemed cool but would anyone with any dignity even go on this show?
4 of 13 | Posted by tsl1000 | Posted on December 22, 2007 11:30 AM
"No offense, but your halitosis is causing birds to drop dead from the sky. No offense, but those pants make your ass look fatter than it normally does. No offense, but you're a dirty whore who should have learned something from your sister, Jamie Lynn. See? It never ends well." Awesome...so very awesome, LoLo.
I was shocked that she picked Bobby, but she did say at the very beginning of this whole trainwreck that while she is bisexual, she prefers lipstick lesbians, so perhaps Dani's lack of girliness tipped the scales in Whiner Bobby's favor. Either way, Dani will be fine. I echo the sentiment of everyone here at Gasmi (and all over the world): she's too good for a slag like Tila, and one day she'll see that see side-stepped a landmine.
Can't wait for your reunion show recap. The little preview show they did immediately after the finale gives us some hope that the guy hosting will be a lot funnier that previous reunion show hosts. His post-finale show was very Joel McHale from "The Soup".
5 of 13 | Posted by TheGreatAndPowerfulShaz | Posted on December 22, 2007 11:46 AM
i disagree with all of you. i loved bobby and im glad he won!!
6 of 13 | Posted by sassybella11 | Posted on December 22, 2007 3:33 PM
i disagree with all of you. i loved bobby and im glad he won!!
7 of 13 | Posted by sassybella11 | Posted on December 22, 2007 3:34 PM
Tila obviously didn't pick Dani because she wanted a Shot of Love 2. Bobby is such a girl.
8 of 13 | Posted by buttercup24 | Posted on December 22, 2007 4:12 PM
Am I the only one who thinks that the producers made her pick Bobby so 1. She can break up with him with enough time to shoot Shot at Love 2 and 2. So Dani and her grandma can have her own dating show?! I was glad Tila didn't pick Dani -- just proves that she's the sad little mushroom head I thought she was. And Dani is definitely better for it.
9 of 13 | Posted by jito | Posted on December 23, 2007 8:25 AM
Not surprised she picked Bobby, but disappointed- why don't the "good" people ever win?
GO DANI!
And they're already casting for A Shot at Love 2 with a mystery bachelorette... hmmm...
10 of 13 | Posted by Fomhoire | Posted on December 23, 2007 11:37 PM
LOVED all the recaps, thanks so much for devoting yourself to this drivel so we could all come together & bond by laughing & pointing at silly, silly Tila.
Definitely agree on the surprize about Bobby but for the best, for Dani escapes the drudgery of the show. I'd LOVE to see a Dani spinoff ... it'd really be a shame if the true reason was that the producers wanted her to pick a male over female contestant ...
... but then again, I never really bought the whole "I'm a bisexual" bit anyway.
BTW, agreed, the "no offense" lines - classic!! :) (Umm, we're talking to YOU, Jamie-Lynn!) ha ha
11 of 13 | Posted by chelle | Posted on December 24, 2007 9:31 AM
I wanted Dani to win, but I'm OK she didn't, for all the reasons everyone's mentioned.
They're casting A Shot at Love 2? With a mystery bachelorette? GO DANI! That'll go well with That's Amore! Starring: Domenico and umm.... I'll let the reunion special fill you in on that little bit of comic genius.
12 of 13 | Posted by MidwestNomad | Posted on December 24, 2007 9:31 AM
No question; Dani was by far the classiest person on the show. So glad she dodged the Tila bullet.
Hard to tell if Tila was serious about picking Bobbi; either way, don't see that relationship working out.
I hope Dani doesn't leave this experience changed in a bad sense. She is just fine the way she is.
13 of 13 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 27, 2007 6:51 PM