This week on A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, Tila visits the hometowns and families of the final four contestants. Some families welcome her with open arms, and others spray Lysol on everything she touches. Who stays, who goes, and whose mom said Tila's bisexuality makes her want to vomit after the jump!
I'm guessing it wasn't this one...
The final four are packing up their belongings to get ready for this week's hometown dates. Bobby tells us he always gets nervous when he brings home a girl, and that he still views Butterface Ryan as his biggest competition since Ryan's an "oil executive" and has got the moolah. If you recall, Bobby's the guy that tried to buy Tila off with some fake ass Tiffany's jewelry in the first episode, so Bobby must have some underlying fixation with women and money. That's what paying for sex all the time will do to a guy. Yet another strike against prostitution - it just can't get a break.
Pamela Amanda and Manly Dani are in the bathroom getting ready, Amanda wearing a red satin bra and blow-drying her hair, and Dani wearing a men's white t-shirt and using some pomade. Lipstick, meet butch. They chat about their families, and Amanda tactfully brings up her special needs siblings. After recovering from that awkward moment, Dani and the rest of the gang head out. Tila warns us that if anyone's families have a problem with her being a bisexual, then it's peace out.
For the record, she said it, not me
First up is Bobby's hometown of Worcester Sauce, New York. A quick tour of Wikipedia reveals this is a tiny whitebread town, population 2,200, stuck in the middle of nowhere. Definitely right up Tila's alley. Ooh, speaking of alleys, Bobby has decided to shatter any Hicksville stereotypes and meet Tila at the local bowling alley!
Tila rolls up in her SUV, and her expression as she gets out of the car is a textbook WTF. I'm not sure what bothers her more - the bowling alley, Bobby's hooded Unabomber sweatshirt, and that faint scent of manure in the air. They go inside, and after Tila throws some gutter balls and Bobby makes totally original and witty jokes about blue balls, they sit down to chat. Bobby's a motor mouth today, and tells her he was worried she would take one look at Bumblefuck and run for Manhattan. Tila admits she would have, but she's contractually forced to stay so she's trying to make the best of it.
An outfit change later, and we're off to meet Mr. and Mrs. Bobby. Not wanting to leave the girls out of this little get together, Tila's wearing a tight white tank top that also shows off a ton of her tattoos as well. A mother's dream. Tila quickly meets Bobby's parents, teenage brother, and his stepdad, and his stepmom. Mr. Bobby must be pretty awful, for he got traded in for a dude with a mullet and a handlebar mustache. The happy couple announces that Tila also dabbles in snatch in her free time, but after a few uncomfortable moments it goes over fairly well.
As they sit down for dinner, Tila does her best to be the girlfriend from hell by striking up awkward conversations and just generally being inappropriate. At one point she risks poisoning them all with silicone as she stabs her boob with her fork (for realz), and then asks the brother to clean off her boob for her. Kudos to the brother, who merely tosses a towel at Bobby and says that's Bobby's job to clean off any random creamy goo that gets on Tila. These antics lead to Mrs. Bobby snapping at Tila that she's not impressed, but once the ladies sit down and chat about their love of booze, they're suddenly BFFs again. False drama bores me.
Get your nasty paws off me, bitch
As Tila's leaving, Bobby tells us that his mom really liked Tila because she could see a lot of Bobby in Tila. Insert lame Bobby joke here. Tila, wearing Bobby's Unabomber sweatshirt now, lets us know that she had a really great time with Bobby's family. They peck goodnight, and Tila heads off to visit Amanda in Oregon.
Pacific City, Oregon is a small coastal town near the Oregon-Washington border. Amanda tells us that she's really excited to bring Tila to Pacific City since it makes her feel "like she's going home." Dumbass, it IS your home. Not the brightest crayon in the box, that one. Thankfully she's got her youthful good lo - oh man, she's screwed.
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Comments (9)
Even my parents would have been "douchebags" with Tila as a guest. What family actually enjoys talking about nipples over dinner? and she came across really badly when she was very whoreishly flirting with Bobby's poor brother.
Re: Dani. You didn't mention it but Dani's mother was basically like, "Dani's probably too good for you. What can you offer her?" And yea- Dani pretty much kicks ass.
1 of 9 | Posted by Fomhoire | Posted on December 1, 2007 4:42 PM
I am over Tila and her "I'm a crazy bisexual" routine. I kind of hope she picks either Bobby or Amanda so Dani can get her own shot at love show, only she can bring her grandma along for the ride. Seriously. It would be amazing.
(Disclaimer: My boyfriend thinks I have a crush on Dani. It makes me feel better to see that others feel the same way.)
2 of 9 | Posted by jito | Posted on December 2, 2007 4:38 PM
Dani is so cool and Tila doesn't deserve her. I mean what kind of "girlfrien" meets her SO's friends and immediately straddles one of them. She is completely inappopriate ugh. I'm glad Ryan is gone, he's ugly and he kind of pulled a Steven on her in his room. Good riddance. I kind of hope that Dani wins just cause I don't want her to lose but at the same time she's too good for Tila.Ah well.
3 of 9 | Posted by MichellePR | Posted on December 2, 2007 6:04 PM
LoLo - Tila totally doubles in snatch...Friggin hilarious!
So I continue my love for Dani (as it seems most of America does) But just for the simple fact that she is on this show, I know she has to be F'd up somehow. My crush on her reminds me of the crush I had on Kirk Cameron when I was 12. When I found out he married that skank, Kate, from the show I was devastated - I really thought he might come for me one day. I feel the same about Dani, I want Tila to give her the boot, so she might still come for me! haha - I know - I have issues...haha
Oh, and I loved how her mom called her "my little diamond" so sweet!
Tila cracked me up at The Ryans - for making them so uncomfortable, they really looked about ready to send Ryan to one of those weird "my son has been brainwashed" camps -
I wonder if they are going to meet Tila's family at some point? Or at least her top 10 myspace friends?
4 of 9 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on December 3, 2007 7:52 AM
Dani and Amanda had a HUGE advantage, in that their parents expected someone like Tila (they were probably relieved that she was not way worse), while the boys' folks got blind-sided.
Agreed - Dani is adorable, far and away the "winner", but deseres someone WAY classier and genuine than Tila.
I predict Amanda will go next, just to keep one token male.
We can only hope that they rig it so she picks Bobby, to preserve Dani for a spin off.
5 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 3, 2007 12:58 PM
I think Dani is too good for Tila. She should send herself home and find someone right for her. Bobby too, he seams normal and normal and skank don't go together, she will eventually get bored and cheat on him. So, that leaves amazon, perfect match! Go Slutts!!
I can't wait to see what stupid shit Amazon has to say about the other finalists! She should have left on this episode for calling her brothers and sisters "Retarded". Guess she doesn't know any better word to explain what is wrong with them. She must be retarded too!! Ugh, can't stand them! Tila is a whore for putting her camel toe shorts on everyone on this episode! GROSS!! Does she ever wear anything normal????
6 of 9 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on December 3, 2007 1:08 PM
Has anyone else heard this?
Self-proclaimed bisexual MTV skank Tila Tequila may actually be straight as an arrow. The gay-for-pay bikini babe stars in A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila , about her search for the perfect mate — male or female. But it's "all a sham," says a source close to the show. "Tila has and has had a boyfriend for over a year, and she's not really bi. She's made out with some girls in her past, as all girls have, but she is not bi at all." Our insider claims that MTV works hard to pretend she's single and available because she refuses to break up with her boyfriend, "who's like five years older than her. This is a massive scam…That's why they are not continuing with the show [for a second season], because she won't dump him." Tequila has also been acting like "a diva" and become "a nightmare to work with," said the source. "She arrives late and doesn't talk to any of the contestants between takes. She complains she has too much going on."
7 of 9 | Posted by pachita | Posted on December 3, 2007 2:53 PM
Hey Pach,
I read that too. But then I read another article where (of course) she denies it.
Is it true that there won't be another season of Shot at Love?
8 of 9 | Posted by neverenuftv | Posted on December 4, 2007 12:42 PM
Pachita, I read that too, and watched the last two episodes with that in the back of my mind. If it is true, then they're all pretty good actors because while Tila has a lot of issues, she seems sincere to me. And I don't pick up on any resentment from the contestants that that kind of behavior would likely cause. Also, Tila would have the most understanding boyfriend ever.
Neverenuftv, I'm hearing right now that there is a second season of A Shot at Love, and it'll still be a bisexual dating show, but it'll have a different bachelorette. The girl hasn't been chosen/announced yet. But they're currently casting for both ASAL 2 and Guido's That's Amore!
Thanks for reading and the comments, guys!
9 of 9 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on December 6, 2007 2:37 AM