Muffy tells us she thought she was going to throw up, and Chip tells us that know that Tila "goes both ways" disturbs him. He adds that for Ryan to bring something like "this" home just isn't right. So evidently Tila is not a person in Chip's eyes, but rather a "this", like a bad dog that shits in your shoes. Ryan slurs in his confessional (seriously, is it just me or does he become harder to understand by the episode?) that he knows dinner is going to be interesting.
Dinner begins, and Tila once again is inappropriate, this time joking that Chip is so handsome he could turn her straight. Tila asks the family if they have any bisexual friends, and Ryan's parents sit as still as statues while Lauren laughs her ass off at the very idea. Lauren then forcefully tells Tila and us that she's totally straight and has a boyfriend, as if she's afraid Tila's going to sneak up on her and ass rape her with a strap-on. Calm the hell down. A random chick in a black t-shirt and pants comes in with their dinner plates, and I think we're supposed to believe she's the help. But a) these people do not have enough money to have servants b) no servant would ever dress like that and c) like they'd have a white girl as their servant. This is definitely a production assistant.
Lauren waits to be served
Tila asks the family if she can say grace, and her version of it gives thanks for Ryan's hot body (and something about melted cheese and her meat that I do not even want to go into), his hot family, and her hope that Lauren admits she likes the vajayjay. Awkward laughs all around. Tila then begins talking about the various challenges they've had, and says that Ryan pulled her top off last week during the chocolate challenge. The Ryans are yet again appalled, and Muffy loftily tells us that they don't usually talk about nipples at their dinner table. However, they do feed their little yappy dogs at the dinner table. Oh wait, that's just Lauren again.
Chip then begins grilling Tila on her future, asking her IF she has goals in life, not what they are. She describes her upbringing and how she got to be the internet's biggest whore/sensation, and Chip grudgingly tells us that he tips his hat to her for that. At this point Ryan realizes that things aren't looking too good for him, so he grabs Tila and pulls her upstairs, figuring he might as well get some ass before he gets sent home. She protests a bit about leaving his family and all, but it doesn't take much to convince her to hook up. It's Tila, after all.
Shortly after that, Tila hugs everyone goodbye and heads out to visit Dani in Florida. The Ryans, in turn, head upstairs to take showers. Ryan tells us he's confident that he won't be eliminated this week.
Dani's meeting Tila at the fire station to show Tila where she works. Tila rolls up, and runs out of the car squealing Dani's name before giving Dani a big hug and kiss. This is by far the warmest greeting Tila has given anyone. Dani takes her inside, and Tila goes apeshit, screaming and jumping up to straddle some lucky guy whose face says it all. She then asks to see the pole, and demonstrates some stripper moves while that same guy stares and looks really unsure how to act. He looks like he wants to enjoy the show, but is also kind of scared that Dani will rip off his balls if he gets too into it.
How not to fall on your head like a stupid cow (I'm talking to you, Tranny Vanny!)
All the fire fighters sit down for dinner with Dani and Tila, and Fire Lieutenant Tim gives a sweet speech about how great of a girl Dani is, and how they all admire her and want the best for her. Tila is touched, and Dani is happy but extremely embarrassed. If my boss did something like that, we'd all think he'd lost his mind. Getting him to tell you your work was "fine" is a huge compliment in my office. That and him remembering your name. The rest of the meal goes great, and afterwards the ladies head out to meet Dani's biological family.
Dani entertains the table with her impression of the comedy and tragedy masks
« Real World: Class Act | Main | House: Better Than Hearing Sex »
Comments (9)
Even my parents would have been "douchebags" with Tila as a guest. What family actually enjoys talking about nipples over dinner? and she came across really badly when she was very whoreishly flirting with Bobby's poor brother.
Re: Dani. You didn't mention it but Dani's mother was basically like, "Dani's probably too good for you. What can you offer her?" And yea- Dani pretty much kicks ass.
1 of 9 | Posted by Fomhoire | Posted on December 1, 2007 4:42 PM
I am over Tila and her "I'm a crazy bisexual" routine. I kind of hope she picks either Bobby or Amanda so Dani can get her own shot at love show, only she can bring her grandma along for the ride. Seriously. It would be amazing.
(Disclaimer: My boyfriend thinks I have a crush on Dani. It makes me feel better to see that others feel the same way.)
2 of 9 | Posted by jito | Posted on December 2, 2007 4:38 PM
Dani is so cool and Tila doesn't deserve her. I mean what kind of "girlfrien" meets her SO's friends and immediately straddles one of them. She is completely inappopriate ugh. I'm glad Ryan is gone, he's ugly and he kind of pulled a Steven on her in his room. Good riddance. I kind of hope that Dani wins just cause I don't want her to lose but at the same time she's too good for Tila.Ah well.
3 of 9 | Posted by MichellePR | Posted on December 2, 2007 6:04 PM
LoLo - Tila totally doubles in snatch...Friggin hilarious!
So I continue my love for Dani (as it seems most of America does) But just for the simple fact that she is on this show, I know she has to be F'd up somehow. My crush on her reminds me of the crush I had on Kirk Cameron when I was 12. When I found out he married that skank, Kate, from the show I was devastated - I really thought he might come for me one day. I feel the same about Dani, I want Tila to give her the boot, so she might still come for me! haha - I know - I have issues...haha
Oh, and I loved how her mom called her "my little diamond" so sweet!
Tila cracked me up at The Ryans - for making them so uncomfortable, they really looked about ready to send Ryan to one of those weird "my son has been brainwashed" camps -
I wonder if they are going to meet Tila's family at some point? Or at least her top 10 myspace friends?
4 of 9 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on December 3, 2007 7:52 AM
Dani and Amanda had a HUGE advantage, in that their parents expected someone like Tila (they were probably relieved that she was not way worse), while the boys' folks got blind-sided.
Agreed - Dani is adorable, far and away the "winner", but deseres someone WAY classier and genuine than Tila.
I predict Amanda will go next, just to keep one token male.
We can only hope that they rig it so she picks Bobby, to preserve Dani for a spin off.
5 of 9 | Posted by fire@will | Posted on December 3, 2007 12:58 PM
I think Dani is too good for Tila. She should send herself home and find someone right for her. Bobby too, he seams normal and normal and skank don't go together, she will eventually get bored and cheat on him. So, that leaves amazon, perfect match! Go Slutts!!
I can't wait to see what stupid shit Amazon has to say about the other finalists! She should have left on this episode for calling her brothers and sisters "Retarded". Guess she doesn't know any better word to explain what is wrong with them. She must be retarded too!! Ugh, can't stand them! Tila is a whore for putting her camel toe shorts on everyone on this episode! GROSS!! Does she ever wear anything normal????
6 of 9 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on December 3, 2007 1:08 PM
Has anyone else heard this?
Self-proclaimed bisexual MTV skank Tila Tequila may actually be straight as an arrow. The gay-for-pay bikini babe stars in A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila , about her search for the perfect mate — male or female. But it's "all a sham," says a source close to the show. "Tila has and has had a boyfriend for over a year, and she's not really bi. She's made out with some girls in her past, as all girls have, but she is not bi at all." Our insider claims that MTV works hard to pretend she's single and available because she refuses to break up with her boyfriend, "who's like five years older than her. This is a massive scam…That's why they are not continuing with the show [for a second season], because she won't dump him." Tequila has also been acting like "a diva" and become "a nightmare to work with," said the source. "She arrives late and doesn't talk to any of the contestants between takes. She complains she has too much going on."
7 of 9 | Posted by pachita | Posted on December 3, 2007 2:53 PM
Hey Pach,
I read that too. But then I read another article where (of course) she denies it.
Is it true that there won't be another season of Shot at Love?
8 of 9 | Posted by neverenuftv | Posted on December 4, 2007 12:42 PM
Pachita, I read that too, and watched the last two episodes with that in the back of my mind. If it is true, then they're all pretty good actors because while Tila has a lot of issues, she seems sincere to me. And I don't pick up on any resentment from the contestants that that kind of behavior would likely cause. Also, Tila would have the most understanding boyfriend ever.
Neverenuftv, I'm hearing right now that there is a second season of A Shot at Love, and it'll still be a bisexual dating show, but it'll have a different bachelorette. The girl hasn't been chosen/announced yet. But they're currently casting for both ASAL 2 and Guido's That's Amore!
Thanks for reading and the comments, guys!
9 of 9 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on December 6, 2007 2:37 AM