Now some serious music plays, and we learn TV has decided to go skinny dipping, and LK and Pamela Amanda are pissed off about it, saying TV's just trying to get more attention, and not just from Tila. Sure enough, TV's flaunting herself to the guys and flirting outrageously, especially with Bobby. Standing out on a balcony, Bobby bitches to Pamela Amanda about it, and we flash back to the second episode, when TV told us she was going to use her "sex appeal" to distract the guys and get them out of the way. As they're talking, TV goes up to the sliding door and rubs her thong-clad ass around on the glass. I feel really bad for that window washer. She comes outside, squabbles with Bobby briefly, and then asks Bobby if he's sexually frustrated because he wants to fuck her. With another patented "whatever" Bobby walks away. He really needs to work on his comebacks.
It doesn't matter what kind of shape you're in - mashing your bare buttocks against glass is never attractive.
Bobby, pissed, goes down to the kitchen to avoid TV, but she follows him, taunting him about wanting her so bad. She tells us that all she wants is respect, which cracks me up for several good minutes. Bobby bitches about TV to a group including LK, sitting around a table. When TV demands to know what's going on, LK elects herself spokeswoman and tells her that flaunting herself to Bobby isn't cool because it's making him uncomfortable. Oh, LK, you're not the one who should be taking the moral high ground here. TV insists that Bobby wants to fuck her, but just won't admit it. LK and TV start getting into it, with LK basically calling TV a two-faced slut, and TV gives her the finger and then throws the contents of her cup all over LK and the others sitting at the table.
Furious, LK throws a can of pop at TV's retreating back and tries to go after TV, while Dani holds her back. In frustration, LK slams her fist into the nearby window a few times while Michael looks on in half arousal, half fear. Safely in another room, TV shouts for LK to bring it, and LK finally gets past Dani and gets in TV's face while TV begs LK to hit her. They scuffle a bit, but alas no real blows are thrown so it doesn't really matter. By the end of the fight, both girls are in tears, with LK calling TV a liar, and TV saying she doesn't care what any of them think about her. Honey, all you care about is what people think about you. That was apparent from minute one. For the record: I hate you.
Bitch, my butt floss is SO much better than yours!
The next morning, we find out TV slept outside by herself on a couch, and she has no intention of apologizing. No one seems to even notice or care. Hah. The group gets another message from Tila, announcing that it's time to celebrate Tila de Mayo. This competition's for the alone time before eliminations, and involves them spinning a chair, and then carrying a tray of margaritas over to a table, without spilling any. Teams are by gender, and the team with the most glasses on the table at the end wins.
You know, Mexican was my second choice for fake nationalities...
Guido and Ashli get all seven of their drinks on the table safely, but Ryan spills three and TV spills four. On his turn, Bobby falls flat on his face getting out of the chair, but he winds up only spilling one while Pamela Amanda doesn't spill any. So the score is tied again. Michael and LK both get all their glasses on the table, leaving it up to Steven and Dani. As they take off from their chairs, Bobby slips up and tells us Dani can run fast because she's an athletic guy... or... umm... whatever. Smooth. Steven has the lead approaching the table, but then gets overly excited and winds up spilling nearly all his drinks while placing the tray on the table. Somehow I don't think this was the first time Steven's over-excitement has caused an embarrassing mess. So yet again, Dani wins the challenge for the ladies!
Ride 'em, cowboy! Err, girl. Err... person. Whatever.
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Comments (11)
"What kind of busted-ass vagina does Tila have then, because that shit just ain't right."
--- greatest line ever! LoLo - you are more awesome than Guido's bandana!
I had 3 very odd reactions from this episode -
1. I am in love with Manly Dani.
2. I really do think Amanda is more than a foot taller than Tila - kinda perfect - Tila's face comes right up to the vag area!
3. Next week looks like it might be the best "reality" TV moment ever - I rewound my DVR like 5 times during the preview to see TV go psycho on Brandi -
can't wait!
Great recap
1 of 11 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on November 8, 2007 8:07 AM
This show is so bad it's good! I can't get enough. Whoever cast these people did a really great job. I too am in love with manly Dani. She seems really genuine and cool.
Great recap LoLo! So funny!!!
2 of 11 | Posted by DezPez | Posted on November 8, 2007 8:57 AM
I really thought I would be alone in saying I think Manly Danni is awesome. I seriously think she's really pretty; and much more tolerable than most of the other chicks.
I too am waiting for next week! That is an actual girl-fight with hair pulling and all! I can't wait. I'd give anything if Tranny (and her afro puffs) got the snot beat out of her.
3 of 11 | Posted by VolGirl | Posted on November 8, 2007 10:25 AM
I really thought I would be alone in saying I think Manly Danni is awesome. I seriously think she's really pretty; and much more tolerable than most of the other chicks.
I too am waiting for next week! That is an actual girl-fight with hair pulling and all! I can't wait. I'd give anything if Tranny (and her afro puffs) got the snot beat out of her.
4 of 11 | Posted by VolGirl | Posted on November 8, 2007 10:27 AM
OMG! that was too funny! Makes you wonder what kind of vaginas she's been looking at or what hers looks like!! Gross!!
Next week looks awesome. I just wonder what tila was saying before TV went at Brandi. It looks like Brandi quickly turned the tables by getting the upper hand in the fight. Looks like she gets some good licks off TV. That's good, Hope her ass (TV) goes home. I am rooting for Danni to win. She seams like the most genuine person there. Can ANYONE PLEASE TELL ME WHY GUIDO IS STILL THERE???
5 of 11 | Posted by sillage3 | Posted on November 8, 2007 11:14 AM
Danni is nice and all, but I doubt she will win. Can you really see Tila with her? I just recently started watching this show and am now hooked. I suspect Guido is still there bc the producers will not like Tila get rid of him yet bc he makes for good tv.
6 of 11 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on November 8, 2007 11:32 AM
I've decided tha Guido has totally been planted there by the producers. He keeps getting a key every week? Why??? It's a set up.
I'll deny it later, but all I'm saying is that I'm crushing on Amazon Pamela Amanda. She's seriously like 8 feet tall and I love her.
7 of 11 | Posted by Krizzatch
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Posted on November 8, 2007 1:11 PM
Once again, hilarious recap, Lolo! Your writing is so witty!
I agree that Dani is probably the coolest, but I doubt Tila will choose her in the end.
And yea, Pamela Amanda is TALL.
I kinda felt bad for Ashley. It seemed like Tila really liked her, but I think Ashley was way too sweet and innocent for the show, so for her, being kicked off was a blessing in disguise.
I'm still giggling over the comment you made, Lolo, about Michael having his heart broken before when he realized incest was frowned upon!!!
Keep up the great recaps!
8 of 11 | Posted by hotteach | Posted on November 8, 2007 7:20 PM
Hey guys! Thanks so much for the great comments, they mean a ton to me!
I agree, Dani is totally awesome. I almost hope she doesn't win because she can do so much better than Tila (even though I don't think Tila's that bad). Team Dani!
And Pamela Amanda is freakishly tall -- the way she has to bend over so Tila can give her her key is hilarious. She looks like she's about to eat little Tila. As for Guido, he's definitely a producer plant. I do think Tila genuinely enjoys his company, but because he makes her laugh, not because she has any sexual interest. I think he'll stick around until the final 4, but she'll ultimately make Ryan her final dude. For the girl... right now I'm thinking Dani, but LK could also have that top spot (if she's still alive after the next episode, lol). What do you guys think?
9 of 11 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on November 9, 2007 12:32 AM
LOL I thought I was the only one in love with Danni. When I saw the first episode I thought "wow, that's a really cute guy" and it turns out it was Dani...err lol Loved the recap. As for the bottom two I think maybe Bobby and Dani.
10 of 11 | Posted by MichyPR | Posted on November 9, 2007 6:30 AM
Good recap, saves me from watching the show.
"[TV] comes outside, squabbles with Bobby briefly, and then asks Bobby if he's sexually frustrated because he wants to fuck her. With another patented "whatever" Bobby walks away. He really needs to work on his comebacks."
Bobby should've told TV he's straight.
11 of 11 | Posted by blahblah | Posted on November 10, 2007 10:17 AM