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While Bobby and Tila get sticky in odd places - which I suppose is not new to either one of them - the other 7 contestants have to bake dessert. The gang goofs off for a while, throwing flour at each other and whatnot, until Lizard Killer (wearing pants!!!) and Steven start mock wrestling. As the rest judgmentally look on, Steven grabs a butter knife and jokingly holds it near LK's head. LK freaks out, slaps him, and immediately begins bitching as if that butter knife had been a meat cleaver. Steven tells us he was just trying to wipe the whipped cream that was on the knife on her face, and that he now knows better than to mess with a lesbian on her period. Like Mr. Garrison, Steven evidently doesn't trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. I wonder if Steven also has a hand puppet as well?

Isn't this exactly the kind of thing LK was criticizing TV for doing?

Further proving how stupid she is, TV gets involved, saying that LK's the angry bitch of the house, not her. LK taunts TV to keep drinking her vodka, and they call each other sluts and whores and whatnots. It's just another day in Tila's crib. TV tells us that as much as she wants to beat LK's ass, she won't because she's here for Tila and doesn't want to get tossed out. She also claims that she's learned how to control herself, as we see a montage of her losing her shit last week. Famous last words, my friends.

Tila meets Bobby for their champagne bubble bath, and poor Bobby falls on his ass while trying to climb into the giant glass. They begin chatting, and this time Bobby is able to put together complete sentences. So as verbal coordination goes up, motor coordination goes down. Sounds like Bobby operates on some kind of sliding scale. Tila tells him that she's lonely, and Bobby launches into a dramatic speech about how she's all he thinks about, and then he drops the L bomb. But unlike when she yanked away from Professor Ashley in horror when he made a similar declaration, Tila moves in to straddle him and make out. God I hope he swilled a few gallons of Listerine before joining her in this bath.

Bobby, is that bull testicle I taste?

Later that night, Tila joins the other seven contestants to eat those desserts they baked. She particularly likes Amanda's cheesecake, but winds up spitting out Guido's upside down cake. That he had liberally sprinkled with crème de tartar. This episode is killing me. And what's up with the upside down cake, Guido? Where's the tiramisu? The gelato? C'mon dude, you're all about stereotypes... where's the stereotypical dessert?

Tila breaks off for alone time with each contestant, and while she's cuddling with Dani (like legs entwined, intimate cuddling, go Dani!), Steven comes over and rudely interrupts them. Dani gets pissed and lectures him on etiquette while Tila turns her back on him, giggles appreciatively and kisses Dani defiantly. Tila is clearly showing a preference here. Dani stomps off, and Steven decides to shoot himself in his other foot by immediately jumping on top of Tila, straddling her thighs and pinning her beneath him. Her smile freezes in place while he starts sucking on her neck, and she tells us it felt like he was just trying to have sex with her, and it was a total turn-off. She tries to jokingly tell him to get the hell off of her, and he doesn't move and says that he "earned it." Tila and I gasp in outrage at the same time. That's the logic date rapists use, yo. His ass is so gone tonight.

Just because I look and act like a RealDoll doesn't mean you can treat me like one.

Tila's alone time with LK is going well when TV strolls up and tells Tila that she doesn't want to wait for Tila to find her - she'll just come rudely crash LK's time instead. Tila looks uncomfortable, and LK gracefully exits while telling us that it's not worth getting into it with TV. We only see them chat for a minute before Tila tells us she was so over the drama that she needed to call it a night. Congrats, TV, you just made yourself look like an asshole for no good reason.

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Posted in Tila Tequila by LoLo at 6:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)
Last Comment: dmbislove on Nov 28, 2007 02:09 PM.