Greetings Gasmii, my apologies for how far behind I've fallen on recapping the actions of our favorite misfit gang of douchenozzles. After an incredibly busy week of everything that could possibly go wrong going wrong, and just when I was all caught up and ready to dole out some much-needed snark, I got smacked upside the head with the flu. I don't know if it's Swine Flu, and frankly I'm not willing to go wait three hours at Urgent Care to find out, but it sucks. A lot. I'm on day five of feeling like I got run over by a truck full of mucus, but through the magic of DayQuil and Thera-flu I have worked myself into an upright position at the computer and am prepared to get you all caught up on the goings on at the Tool Academy. Don't thank me, thank Acetaminophen, Dextromethorphan, and Phenylephrine.

Posted by TheMiki at 1:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Last week on Tool Academy... I stayed up late to watch a repeat of Real Chance At Love Two because Vh1 decided they needed a sabbatical after two friggin episodes. The week before that we saw Beta Jon go home after proving that he wasn't willing to put any effort whatsoever into his relationship, and then he dumped his girlfriend so as to avoid being dumped on national television. It would have been a good move to save some of his masculinity if he hadn't spent five minutes crying like a little bitch with a skinned knee right afterward. So let's make the jump, shall we, and discover which tools are humble enough to get through Humility Week.

Posted by TheMiki at 6:49 AM | Permalink | Comments (7)

This week on Tool Academy, we face the dreaded fidelity challenge, show some tool spirit, and learn that spelling is really really really hard. Kate Gosselin has already been eliminated, knocking out the highest ranked douchebag and leaving Beta John in the lead. Let's see who cries, who yells, who gets punched in the face, and who makes us all feel really smart for completing the third grade.

Posted by TheMiki at 9:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (10)

Greetings Gasmii, how I have missed thee. Burning Man was an amazingly good time, full of dust and art and fire and fun that resulted in me coming back a few braincells shorter than I left. Hopefully it doesn't affect my acerbic wit. I know you've all been waiting with bated breath to rip these idiot tools apart, so without any further ado, I bring you the season premiere of Tool Academy 2.

Posted by TheMiki at 11:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (14)

After a terrifying month of thinking that Tool Academy 2 wasn't going to air and I was gonna spend my Fall recapping a show about those other Kardashian sisters (you know, the ones without the sex tape), I was thrilled to find that the douche parade will indeed roll out on August 31st. Since I will be on vacation in the land of no television (also known as Burning Man) from the 29th through the 6th, and since I haven't had anything to recap in a while, I bring you now, my recap of what tiny bit of information the Vh1 website has to offer on this trainwreck.

Posted by TheMiki at 4:00 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)

Last week's preview teased us with the fact that one guy is going home because his girlfriend is more of a tool then he is. Since nobody likes a tease (I'm looking at you, VH1!) let's cut right to the chase and get to the good stuff in this episode, which isn't very much.

Posted by PopPrincess at 11:30 AM | Permalink | Comments (3)

Last week on Tool Academy, one tool went home but don't fear, we have six more left duking it out for the title of least Toolish of all the Tools. We open this week's episode with our tools sitting around the table, eating breakfast and discussing what this week's therapy topic could be. MEGA pressures Tiny Tool Josh to 'fess up on all the trash he's talked about his woman, like saying she's a fat fattie and a blow-up doll would be better.

Posted by PopPrincess at 1:47 PM | Permalink | Comments (9)

***Please welcome back PopPrincess with a show you've been requesting, Tool Academy! She was just assigned, so give her time to catch up!

Soooo, my first show about douchey boys ends, then FlipIt asks me to take on Tool Academy, another show about douchey guys. Either Flippy hates me (but why?) or I am still cursed with attracting the tooliest tools in the shed. The curse was passed down to me from my mom and followed me throughout college. I thought I kicked it when I married a nice guy, but apparently that just made the universe pissy. So, as FlipIt as my witness, I give in and will commit to becoming an expert in the ways of The Male Douche.

Posted by PopPrincess at 3:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (10)