Joey is hellapissed and has no problem expressing his fury. He just knew he was gonna be in the top three! He's from New Nawk and he's got more experience eating than anyone in this room! AAAARRRGGGHHH!!!! Calm down, you're sweating all over the cameras. OMG. The pizza guy just came over. I must have blacked out calling him. Ah, well, there's always tomorrow. Yay fat! Go, J!
The Elimination Challenge is to throw a glamorous barbecue for Lee Schrager, who's a fancy schmancy caterer in Miami. Hung jumps up and down and tries to hide his tiny boner. He is in love with Schrager, and I'm looking at my TV like this model chick looked at me when I said "Frack!" in the Starbucks line the other day. Geek alert!
Tre, true to form, is positive that he's gonna win this one. He is from Texas, after all. And HESGOTPASSION!!!! Do you?
Sara N neurotically describes the Challenge to the cameras. They only have thirty minutes to shop for a glamorous barbecue. They were handed a couple hundred bucks and then had to like, go! THIRTY MINUTES? To buy things? What do they expect, the MIRACLE WORKER? Sara, shut it, cut it, and feed it to the people. Quietly.
Just in case we still don't understand, Bunny Foo Foo lays it out for us. The meat department is always the first to get crowded, because a Chef likes to start a dish by choosing his proteins. Yeah, Bunny, it's also crowded cuz you're shopping for a BARBECUE. Birdsong tweets out numbers to the deli counter guy like she's auctioning cattle. Hebede forty! Hebedededddee forty two SOLD for forty twoooooo! Hung is running around so fast he's a little evil blur, and CJ does and says stuff, but I can't tell what it is because he's just a ginormous white cloud in every shot. Poor guy!
While everyone clamors over each other in the meat department, Mica wanders around the produce section aimlessly. She's wearing two pony tails with multiple rubber bands, and I hate to sound like I'm judging a person based on the number of rubber bands in their hair, but the bitch is lookin' awful crazy. She laughs maniacally at the camera and explains that she's never been away from her daughter Matilda for so long and she's afraid of making her mad. You don't wanna make Matilda mad, cuz she can move things around with her eyes.
Micah goes on about her sour mood and little by little starts to leak crazy all over the meat counter. Finally, she settles on a leg of lamb. She laughs laughs to the cameras like, I'm CRAZY, right? YES. My dog's ears perk up.
Back in the kitchen, Hung is sprinting around aimlessly and breaking shit while everyone else puts their heads down to work. Brian is working on a seafood sausage, which sounds hideously disgusting, but he says to trust him on this one. He didn't back down with the snake and eel, and he's not gonna back down...wait. The snake and eel didn't go over so well, tiger. Back down. Back waaaaay down.
Tre chose salmon as his protein, because that's what we all throw on our grills in Texas. I hope no one has to share his grill space, cuz anything they try to cook will have a hint of salmon. He reminds us for the millionth time that he's a winner, dammit! Ugh. Birdsong's making lobster with pancetta, and it looks like it will be hard to grill...is that the point? She wants to be different and not do barbecue. For the BARBECUE. Oh, Birdsong, my fingers are crossed but what the hell? You wanna be different, but Howie just made poached lobster in the Quick Fire. Copying Howie = Bad Sign.
Mica is pissier than ever, slamming ovens (you don't want to slam those ovens. The doors might fall off) and beating the crap out of her lamb. She doesn't care anymore! If she gets kicked off she'll get to see her daughter! No one's buyin' it, and Bunny Foo Foo explains to us that Micah did poorly in the Quickfire. We know, bunny. We're watching THE SHOW.
Sara N bought scotch bonnet peppers for her Vietnamese BBQ, which she had never used before. Good plan. Turns out they're "the hottest peppers you can buy!!" Her hands are on fire and she calls out for help to no one in particular. She also didn't realize that she was gonna have to pickle the peppers overnight, and now they'll be inedible. God I hope so, cuz your very existence is grating on my last nerve.
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Comments (16)
I found Joey to be so annoying the entire episode. It's yahoos like him that make a lot of people bag on New Yawkers. He seems to think that just being from there makes him less of a tool.
1 of 16 | Posted by dent
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Posted on June 24, 2007 2:31 PM
"Dirty rice? Like muddy or sexy?"
Are you serious? WTF? At least the television without pity recapper knows SOMETHING about food. This recapper is the pits.
Like, why so rude? What's the obsession with Padma's scar? My old roommate had huge scars from an abusive grandmother who poured boiling water on her head when she was FOUR. It took her forever to have the guts to show these scars to ANYONE. God forbid you have some hellacious incident that leaves you with huge scars. Rude is not funny. Let the scar go.
2 of 16 | Posted by bonita
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Posted on June 25, 2007 9:20 AM
Joey was such a douchebag; there was no need for him to say anything to Howie!
What is with everyone doing poached lobster in vanilla butter? Lobster is sort of inherently sweet but the thought of pairing it with vanilla totally grosses me out. Get that dessert out of my entree!
3 of 16 | Posted by MissKatrina
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Posted on June 25, 2007 9:21 AM
How could you forget Padma's blatent slurring of the word congratulations? And is it just me or is she really offering too much opinion this season? I miss Katie lee Joel.
4 of 16 | Posted by criscogirl
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Posted on June 25, 2007 9:58 AM
Damn bonita (#2) - don't you dare pick on Flipit. He's like the only reason many of us are still here at TVGASM. Go spend all your time at "television without pity" and save us your moaning. Flipit totally rocks, is hilarious and is my lover (tho' he doesn't know it yet). :)
Anyway, begone, before someone drops a kenmore kitchen on you!!
So Flipit: awesome recap as usual. Laughing so hard, despite by girl birdsong being kicked off.
Hung, despite the provocative name, really annoys me.
Padma - intentional or not, you make me laugh every week.
Peace to all (even bonita).
FB22
5 of 16 | Posted by fieldboy22
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Posted on June 25, 2007 11:30 AM
Bonita - Actually, having read Flipit's recaps for quite a while, I suspect he knows what dirty rice is. Lighten up. Flipit is a beloved talent here (if only he were doing Hell's Kitchen as well). As far as the scar thing, it's just his style to be iconoclastic - we like it - get over it.
6 of 16 | Posted by Gaius.
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Posted on June 25, 2007 11:33 AM
for the record, i do like flipit's recaps -- he's way better than the rest on this site, by leaps and bounds. i don't think "iconoclastic" is exactly the word you're looking for, gaius, but i know what you mean. the way flipit irreverently, yet respectfully, poked fun at clay ("jumper" -- i had my fav kind of laugh, a belly buster followed by, "oh no he didn't") was hilarious and very smart. maybe i should go by my old drama teacher's advice to start with the "good" before i move on to criticism?
anyway, this is the comment board, yeah? so i believe my comment about the scar is just as valid as yours telling ME to get over it. i was putting in my two cents, and not picking on him. i doubt flipit has such thin skin.
also -- they've gotten rid of the krappy kenmore kitchens -- rumor has it, they broke down all the time, hence that "cooking over a beach bonfire" ep last season. this year, they're sportin stuff from GE. let's hope they work this time...
7 of 16 | Posted by bonita
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Posted on June 25, 2007 1:29 PM
Regarding the GE/Kenmore thing: how hard is it to have a working stove?! I live in an old-ass house and my gas range works just fine.
Criscogirl, I agree about Padma; the lady doth protest too much. Having hosted last year, she thinks she knows a thing or two about food. But seriously, the only thing she actually knows is that fish dishes generally have an acidic component. Now she thinks EVERY dish needs acid...bitch is probably ON acid.
8 of 16 | Posted by MissKatrina
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Posted on June 25, 2007 1:56 PM
wow flipit... you have become the story here....
**** this is a new level....
I really think Hung is funny and I am not hating on him all alll.. he zips around that kitchen like speedy gongales and doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks about him... and cooks most of them under the table.
i am waiting for new york to have a criminal freak out.... a girl can dream
I think the pictures of CJ with his head out of frame are hilairious.... and you won't have a shortage of them will you...
have you found the head of the lion king's villian to paste over Padma's head... this has to happen bud.
and an iconoclastic might not be the right word... the only elastic Flipit knows is the one around his tummy on his pants...
xoxox
and bonita ease up..
yeah you can post whatever you want and we can too... but geez he only is remarking on a scar,
it's not like she was raped or anything......
9 of 16 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on June 25, 2007 2:13 PM
Excellent recap, as always, love the photo captions (I'll miss the Birdsong surprized clip!) I think it should be worked into the recaps whenever possibe even though she is gone.
And as for the level of civility in the recap, I've once been to New York, so could you lay off Joey?
I'm just kidding, obviously I love all the discussion in the comments, otherwise wouldn't be here, just couldn't resist!
10 of 16 | Posted by m'low
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Posted on June 25, 2007 4:17 PM
HAHAHA this is one of my favorite boards EVER.
"How could you forget Padma's blatent slurring of the word congratulations?"
I didn't miss it. She blatantly slurs every other word. Padma's wasted every episode.
Fieldboy: I am falling in love with you. In my head you look like the gardener from Desperate Housewives.
You guys make this really fun for me, so thanks again!
Oh, and Bonita, say what you want, hon. It's America. All I can tell ya is this is TVgasm, not the Nightly News. We like ignorant rudeness here. And sorry about your friend's head. Grandmas can be mean bitches sometimes.
LOVE
11 of 16 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on June 25, 2007 6:23 PM
One of the prizes they used to give was the "Kenmore Kitchen" and when this season started I was wondering why that wasn't mentioned, thanks to you guys, now I know. Did anyone else notice that Howie's shoes were about four sizes too big?? He was shuffling all over the place. People like Joey are the reason I moved out of New York to North Carolina. Being from New York doesn't make you the best at something, just the loudest and most obnoxious!!! Great Recap!! Can't wait till next week's episode.....
12 of 16 | Posted by Featherhead
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Posted on June 26, 2007 6:23 AM
Featherhead...where do you live in NC? I moved here from Boston not too long ago and am soooooo bummed that Bravo is not included in Time Warner Digital Cable. It's always been part of the basic package every other place I have lived. I love Top Chef and am living vicariously thru the recaps, but wish I could watch....do you just have DirectTV, or do you get it on your cable? Just curious...
13 of 16 | Posted by aloveaffairwithtivo
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Posted on June 26, 2007 7:09 AM
flipit, you truly are an artiste.
and though i don't understand what it means for fish to have 'acidity,' i know that you my dear have that acidity and it only makes your fish better.
"top chef: notre dame" made my week. keep up the good work.
14 of 16 | Posted by k37744
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Posted on June 26, 2007 11:41 AM
aloveaffairwithtivo
I am in Brunswick County, NC where I just have basic cable from ATMC. ;}
15 of 16 | Posted by Featherhead
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Posted on June 27, 2007 5:16 AM
You're lucky Featherhead...apparently the Raleigh-Durham area isn't metropolitan enough to have Bravo...haha...
16 of 16 | Posted by aloveaffairwithtivo
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Posted on June 27, 2007 5:21 AM