The next morning, Tre and Hung do pushups on the balcony to prove that they're committed and focused. Hung doesn't seem to have ever done a pushup before, and it's really hilarious to see him wobble and shake as he tries to compete with Tre. Oh, boys. We get it. You're CHAMPS. Birdsong goes over stats with Joey, but I can't concentrate on what they're saying because her shirt is so wordy. Shirts like this make me crazy, because I always feel like a pervert as I take a couple minutes to decipher what they say.
She wants to exercise, which is all Joey needs to hear to make him go away. She does some tai chi, and I wait for Hung to run over and try to out kick her.
The glamorous barbecue will take place at Aqua Island Homes! Beautiful spacious two to three bedroom condos with all the amenities overlooking the water! Call for your dream home now!
There are 14 barbecues lined up, and shocker, Sara N can't figure out how to get her charcoal lit. I'll give you a hint. It rhymes with TIRE. Birdsong is at the station next to her and finds the whole thing amusing. She says "Sara's gonna be queen of the charcoal by the time we're done here!" Are you flirting with Sara N? Stop it. Peppers, shrimp, and charcoal have all shocked her. A vagina just might send her over the edge.
CJ hunches over the tiny tables and tells Lia this is the only time he wishes he were 5'3" and Lia gives him a dirty look. LOL.
The Judges and the Guests arrive, and champagne starts flowing. Some pretty girl named Camille that we never ever hear from says she feels she's at a disadvantage because she was cutting and grilling at the same time. Huh? Why are the pretty girls always dumdums on reality shows?
She grilled swordfish and served it with a chorizo, grape and artichoke potato salad. Sausage, fruit and fish. I look at that dish and I can only imagine the hideous after burp. Pass. Next! Micah's lamb, halloumi, and pomegranate sauce looks lovely, and the guests love it. Wisely, she keeps the crazy trap shut and doesn't moan on about her telekinetic brat.
Lia grilled some shrimp and served them in a lettuce wrap with couscous salad, and it reminds me of the PF Changs appetizer. Now that's classy! Bunny Foo Foo did both a strip steak and bacon wrapped shrimp, and CJ made a NY steak with baked pineapple and dirty rice. Dirty rice? Like muddy or sexy? I don't get it. Anyhoo, Sara N figured out how to make fire and produced a Vietnamese BBQ with pine nuts. The presentation's a little busted, but Padma poses and MMMMMs like she's working a car show. I think Scar likes it.
Brian's jumping around and his spazzy behavior has assembled a crowd, and Scar's jealous. "You've assembled a crowd! That's....nice." His scallop, shrimp, and sea bass sausage with chili glaze get's a "very nice", but gets no moaning from Padma. She shot her load with the beef.
One of Tre's guests curses and puts down his peach glazed salmon. Waay too salty. I couldn't hear what else she said because the bleep lasted too long and I was laughing too hard. GOTTAHAVEWATER.
Birdsong's vanilla poached lobster and pancetta wrapped date with truffle slaw looks the classiest, and she's sure to tell a guest loudly that the lobster has been poaching on the grill all day. Did you hear that, Daddy Tom? CJ calls bullshit, because she braised her lobster the day before and isn't technically doing bbq. He may be right, but the guy grilled a steak. I'd eat her lobster over his dirty ass rice any day. Howie made Jamaican jerk pork with mango slaw, but he sliced his pork too soon and dried it out. At least he got it on the plate this time. Bravo, Howie!
Joey flaps his mouth at the cameras and tells us he's heard everyone saying Howie's dish tasted like sawdust. "You do that in New Yawk, and you're goin' home." Really? Cuz I bought a hot dog there once with a bug leg in it. Whatevs, Joey's tiny drumsticks were really thoughtful and provocative, so that's all that counts here. This boy knows his glamour! Buffoon.
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Comments (16)
I found Joey to be so annoying the entire episode. It's yahoos like him that make a lot of people bag on New Yawkers. He seems to think that just being from there makes him less of a tool.
1 of 16 | Posted by dent
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Posted on June 24, 2007 2:31 PM
"Dirty rice? Like muddy or sexy?"
Are you serious? WTF? At least the television without pity recapper knows SOMETHING about food. This recapper is the pits.
Like, why so rude? What's the obsession with Padma's scar? My old roommate had huge scars from an abusive grandmother who poured boiling water on her head when she was FOUR. It took her forever to have the guts to show these scars to ANYONE. God forbid you have some hellacious incident that leaves you with huge scars. Rude is not funny. Let the scar go.
2 of 16 | Posted by bonita
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Posted on June 25, 2007 9:20 AM
Joey was such a douchebag; there was no need for him to say anything to Howie!
What is with everyone doing poached lobster in vanilla butter? Lobster is sort of inherently sweet but the thought of pairing it with vanilla totally grosses me out. Get that dessert out of my entree!
3 of 16 | Posted by MissKatrina
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Posted on June 25, 2007 9:21 AM
How could you forget Padma's blatent slurring of the word congratulations? And is it just me or is she really offering too much opinion this season? I miss Katie lee Joel.
4 of 16 | Posted by criscogirl
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Posted on June 25, 2007 9:58 AM
Damn bonita (#2) - don't you dare pick on Flipit. He's like the only reason many of us are still here at TVGASM. Go spend all your time at "television without pity" and save us your moaning. Flipit totally rocks, is hilarious and is my lover (tho' he doesn't know it yet). :)
Anyway, begone, before someone drops a kenmore kitchen on you!!
So Flipit: awesome recap as usual. Laughing so hard, despite by girl birdsong being kicked off.
Hung, despite the provocative name, really annoys me.
Padma - intentional or not, you make me laugh every week.
Peace to all (even bonita).
FB22
5 of 16 | Posted by fieldboy22
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Posted on June 25, 2007 11:30 AM
Bonita - Actually, having read Flipit's recaps for quite a while, I suspect he knows what dirty rice is. Lighten up. Flipit is a beloved talent here (if only he were doing Hell's Kitchen as well). As far as the scar thing, it's just his style to be iconoclastic - we like it - get over it.
6 of 16 | Posted by Gaius.
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Posted on June 25, 2007 11:33 AM
for the record, i do like flipit's recaps -- he's way better than the rest on this site, by leaps and bounds. i don't think "iconoclastic" is exactly the word you're looking for, gaius, but i know what you mean. the way flipit irreverently, yet respectfully, poked fun at clay ("jumper" -- i had my fav kind of laugh, a belly buster followed by, "oh no he didn't") was hilarious and very smart. maybe i should go by my old drama teacher's advice to start with the "good" before i move on to criticism?
anyway, this is the comment board, yeah? so i believe my comment about the scar is just as valid as yours telling ME to get over it. i was putting in my two cents, and not picking on him. i doubt flipit has such thin skin.
also -- they've gotten rid of the krappy kenmore kitchens -- rumor has it, they broke down all the time, hence that "cooking over a beach bonfire" ep last season. this year, they're sportin stuff from GE. let's hope they work this time...
7 of 16 | Posted by bonita
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Posted on June 25, 2007 1:29 PM
Regarding the GE/Kenmore thing: how hard is it to have a working stove?! I live in an old-ass house and my gas range works just fine.
Criscogirl, I agree about Padma; the lady doth protest too much. Having hosted last year, she thinks she knows a thing or two about food. But seriously, the only thing she actually knows is that fish dishes generally have an acidic component. Now she thinks EVERY dish needs acid...bitch is probably ON acid.
8 of 16 | Posted by MissKatrina
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Posted on June 25, 2007 1:56 PM
wow flipit... you have become the story here....
**** this is a new level....
I really think Hung is funny and I am not hating on him all alll.. he zips around that kitchen like speedy gongales and doesn't give a shit what anyone thinks about him... and cooks most of them under the table.
i am waiting for new york to have a criminal freak out.... a girl can dream
I think the pictures of CJ with his head out of frame are hilairious.... and you won't have a shortage of them will you...
have you found the head of the lion king's villian to paste over Padma's head... this has to happen bud.
and an iconoclastic might not be the right word... the only elastic Flipit knows is the one around his tummy on his pants...
xoxox
and bonita ease up..
yeah you can post whatever you want and we can too... but geez he only is remarking on a scar,
it's not like she was raped or anything......
9 of 16 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on June 25, 2007 2:13 PM
Excellent recap, as always, love the photo captions (I'll miss the Birdsong surprized clip!) I think it should be worked into the recaps whenever possibe even though she is gone.
And as for the level of civility in the recap, I've once been to New York, so could you lay off Joey?
I'm just kidding, obviously I love all the discussion in the comments, otherwise wouldn't be here, just couldn't resist!
10 of 16 | Posted by m'low
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Posted on June 25, 2007 4:17 PM
HAHAHA this is one of my favorite boards EVER.
"How could you forget Padma's blatent slurring of the word congratulations?"
I didn't miss it. She blatantly slurs every other word. Padma's wasted every episode.
Fieldboy: I am falling in love with you. In my head you look like the gardener from Desperate Housewives.
You guys make this really fun for me, so thanks again!
Oh, and Bonita, say what you want, hon. It's America. All I can tell ya is this is TVgasm, not the Nightly News. We like ignorant rudeness here. And sorry about your friend's head. Grandmas can be mean bitches sometimes.
LOVE
11 of 16 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on June 25, 2007 6:23 PM
One of the prizes they used to give was the "Kenmore Kitchen" and when this season started I was wondering why that wasn't mentioned, thanks to you guys, now I know. Did anyone else notice that Howie's shoes were about four sizes too big?? He was shuffling all over the place. People like Joey are the reason I moved out of New York to North Carolina. Being from New York doesn't make you the best at something, just the loudest and most obnoxious!!! Great Recap!! Can't wait till next week's episode.....
12 of 16 | Posted by Featherhead
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Posted on June 26, 2007 6:23 AM
Featherhead...where do you live in NC? I moved here from Boston not too long ago and am soooooo bummed that Bravo is not included in Time Warner Digital Cable. It's always been part of the basic package every other place I have lived. I love Top Chef and am living vicariously thru the recaps, but wish I could watch....do you just have DirectTV, or do you get it on your cable? Just curious...
13 of 16 | Posted by aloveaffairwithtivo
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Posted on June 26, 2007 7:09 AM
flipit, you truly are an artiste.
and though i don't understand what it means for fish to have 'acidity,' i know that you my dear have that acidity and it only makes your fish better.
"top chef: notre dame" made my week. keep up the good work.
14 of 16 | Posted by k37744
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Posted on June 26, 2007 11:41 AM
aloveaffairwithtivo
I am in Brunswick County, NC where I just have basic cable from ATMC. ;}
15 of 16 | Posted by Featherhead
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Posted on June 27, 2007 5:16 AM
You're lucky Featherhead...apparently the Raleigh-Durham area isn't metropolitan enough to have Bravo...haha...
16 of 16 | Posted by aloveaffairwithtivo
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Posted on June 27, 2007 5:21 AM