By Nikkibot
Last week’s episode focused on the masses and the need for widely appealing comfort food at TGIF Restaurants -- deep fried something with an annoyingly cutesy name. The challenge saw the ouster of ultra salty, kiddie-hating, nearly translucent Emily. Tears were shed for the sunshine of the bunch, leaving the rest of the chefs missing her pleasant disposition and knock-knock jokes. Yeah, sure…
Good thing Emily got the boot last week, because I’m afraid what would have happened if she had to cook at Fat Camp, uh, I mean Camp Glucose, to feed even more of those pesky kids -- those metabolically challenged children -- as they like to say over at Fat Ca--- shoot, uh, not again, I mean Camp Glucose.
One would assume that this week would focus on the gourmet side of the culinary arts, since last week the chefs whipped up some ice cream and hearty, comfort dishes for TGIF… but the reality gods -- or just some highly paid suits -- threw another twist our way bringing sugary sweet Betty’s persona to a whole new level and making diabetes cool again (or maybe for the first time)… onto the show!
Top Chef opens with the usual scene: groggy, half-dressed chefs, some naaaasty feet, Betty doing squats?? Wait, that’s a new one… ah, but then we see Michael. Poor guy isn’t feeling well – maybe he’s coming down with something, or maybe he caught what Mia had a couple of episodes back… oh wait, it’s Michael. His not feeling well = one big a** hangover.
I love when people pretend that they’ve just come down with something, conveniently following a night of 10 rum and cokes, 2 woo woo shots, 1 mind eraser and three karaoke songs, one being a crowd-moving rendition of the Spice Girls’ classic “If you want to be my lover…” five Dominos pizza slices at 4 AM… but yeah, you probably caught the stomach bug that’s going around. Hope you feel better!
Now get ready: button up your smocks and throw your hair in a net, it’s Quickfire Challenge Time! This week’s guest judge, Suzanne Goin, explains: this is a challenge where attention to detail (hahem, Michael, that’s directed to you buddy, attention to detail=no beer) is needed to make an amuse bouche. Upon hearing this, my ears perked and eyes widened. Niiice, Bravo, very risqué. How are the chefs going to pull this off? Half of them look like they haven’t gotten laid in months! Other than edible undies, what can they do for this challenge? I hope the chefs are wearing their creative, yet comfortable, work shoes today. Woohhhooo, I cannot wait for the judges’ table.
Oh … wait… amuse bouche means to literally amuse your palette. Oooooooooh. I guess this is Bravo, not Skinamax. All excitement isn’t lost in translation though, the chefs have to amuse their palettes with something out of the…the dreadful machine of common-folk where a combination of letters and numbers release sugary fake goodness loaded with artificial coloring and flavor… the VENDING MACHINE!
These are my favorite challenges because I love seeing the chefs getting SO pissed off and sinking to my level of cooking. How many times I have come home, ravenously hungry after a long day of sitting at my desk, ready for dinner, only to find a fun-size snicker bar, 2 slices of that yellow cheese food and 4 saltines? Now that’s what I call a meal!
I love seeing the chefs mope around, complaining because they can’t show off their “real” skills, but mostly, I love seeing what they do with it – these guys turn out some high-class stuff! It’s pretty amazing what they create… I have no idea what it takes to make a kick ass leg of lamb in a reduced brandy wine sauce with broccoli rabe and shallots, but I do know that it takes SKILL to make a delicious meal out of pretzels, fake cheese, and yogurt.
The chefs are given a roll of quarters and their shopping begins! Marcel is upset once he finds that there are no oysters in the vending machines. Yup, imagine that… no shellfish in a freakin’ machine. What is Marcel to do?? Marcel looks with amazement at this machine. How does it work he wonders…
And what? No beer? How is Michael supposed to stop shaking long enough to slice his snickers and cheetos? Michael’s pissed! He said it’s because he had to go last at the vending machines, but we all know it’s the lack of alcohol that’s setting off his rage.
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Comments (10)
If you get rid of Betty, get rid of the ones weilding the olive oil and other condiments they weren't supposed to use. This is not like Otto's larceny.
Marcel, can anyone say..heat miser?
http://home.comcast.net/~valeriecsweeney/heat-miser.jpg
he and Marisa should make quick boring scientific love together. Tho Elia beat her to it.
And..I find it fascinating that they chose Padma as the host of a food show.. Her annorexia is gorgeous!
1 of 10 | Posted by dredge
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Posted on November 15, 2006 2:25 PM
Ah...someone who shares my hatred of the wave as well as my love of Michael purely for the entertainment value!!
2 of 10 | Posted by willow
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Posted on November 15, 2006 3:38 PM
This was a great recap! It made me laugh and I liked the appreciation for how hard that vending machine challenge was! The other one was a bit much... kind of homophobic too.
3 of 10 | Posted by yaytv
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Posted on November 15, 2006 4:15 PM
How did neither recapper mention Cliff hilariously drinking pepto straight out of the bottle? Right at the end when Josie was talking about something that I'm sure I don't care about... is it just me or does she only get worked up at times when it doesn't make sense, but is totally calm when she should be pissed?
4 of 10 | Posted by MalloryS
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Posted on November 15, 2006 7:06 PM
Very funny recap but I disagree about Marcel being the season 2 villian even though he has the hair for it. Michael far and away is the season 2 villian. He has so much attitude, I said "amen" when the guest judge told him he acted like someone kidnapped him and put him on the show.
And what was up with Mia and all the bitchfaces she kept making? When she narced on Betty and the sugar, I knew the producers were jumping up and down knowing that they had their angry-black-woman stereotype quota fulfilled after Cynthia (?) from last season let them down by being sweet and rational.
As for Betty 'cheating' with the sugar, I believe she was as ignorant as she claimed. Which is why I, as a diabetic, end up eating at home a lot. Trust me, she's not the only chef that throws sugar or olive oil around willy nilly and then serves it to her customers. I can't tell you how many times I've come home after a restaurant's so-called low-carb, low-calorie meal and my blood sugar was through the roof. Betty probably did think 2 tbsp of sugar was no big deal because she 'balanced it out' by making the cookies smaller. Whatever. What's the name of this woman's restaurant? I have to make sure never to eat there.
5 of 10 | Posted by Aries
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Posted on November 15, 2006 11:09 PM
both good recaps, but my vote is definitely for this one. Just the right amount of sarcasm and wit mixed in with details from the show!
I shouldn’t read these before breakfast though because now I am starving.
6 of 10 | Posted by CamJam
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Posted on November 16, 2006 6:10 AM
I prefer this one as well! Good job - very funny!
7 of 10 | Posted by nycid
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Posted on November 16, 2006 11:38 AM
I prefer this recap, great job!
8 of 10 | Posted by zapaterra
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Posted on November 16, 2006 1:49 PM
Good recap, with a very strong ending. The "hypnocritical" paragraph made me laugh.
9 of 10 | Posted by angiemarie
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Posted on November 16, 2006 3:52 PM
"… I have no idea what it takes to make a kick ass leg of lamb in a reduced brandy wine sauce with broccoli rabe and shallots, but I do know that it takes SKILL to make a delicious meal out of pretzels, fake cheese, and yogurt."
L
O
L
u r hilarious
10 of 10 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on November 16, 2006 11:31 PM