Before Ilan and Marcel get to choose who they want, the six chopped Chefs get to say who they'd want to work for. Elia and Mikey go for Ilan and so does (shocker) Betty. Sam switches it up and chooses Marcel. At first this looks really sweet, but don't forget Sam's a sneaky little bitch. He assures us he has no ill will and is actually interested to see what tricks the monkey has up his sleeve. Besides, he knew Ilan was going to do Spanish because Ilan always does the same thing. Snap. Frank and Mia choose Marcel, too. They know they don't have a shot in hell of being picked by Ilan. Will they fare better with the monkey? Frank says he wants to work with Marcel to "learn him" how to talk to people.
How to Win Friends and Influence People
Uh...that's a tempting offer, but...Ilan takes Elia and Betty and Marcel chooses Sam and Mikey. And just like that, Frank and Mia are gone again. There are Hawaiian gods, and they are smiling down on me tonight. On her way out, Mia peels a piece of chewed gum off the door before it hits her in the ass. Sorry, but that was my last chance ever for a Mia homeless joke.
Everything moved along pretty well for both teams. The products at the Farmer's market were gorgeous and there was no budget restraint. Everyone got along and concentrated on the task ahead. Marcel decided to not use a foam this time, which was a huge disappointment. He needed to come to the table with his most complex Spit Foam ever, but settled on taking his other signature, the Tear of a Clown, to the next level by encapsulating a hit of vinaigrette with a thin layer of isomalt to put on top of his salad. Salad? As a smackdown dish? Dude, you can't serve a salad to these people. No matter what's on it, they'll be pissed.
At the end of the four-hour prep, both teams are feeling positive. Ilan drones on into the camera about how talented he is while I order Indian food for delivery. Hey, I know it's not Hawaiian but I don't know how to pronounce any of it, so that should count for something. Ilan's ego is turning out to have hip hop star proportions.
Goyz n the Hood
Elia tries not to be jealous and bitter, but it doesn't work. She tells us that the Chef should always trust his Sous Chef, because the Sous Chef is the true Chef in the kitchen. Ouch. Hope you don't lose your room service Sous Chef job over that one, a hole.
Daddy Tom talks up tonight's guests, describing them as heavyweights in the industry and people who have individually pushed the limits of fine dining in America today. There is nothing scarier than a table of professional Chefs, and I say a little prayer for both Ilan and the monkey. I may not like either one of them, but it doesn't mean I want to see them get hurt today. Wait a minute...(doorbell.) That must have been my starvation talking. I hope they both get skewered.
The list of guests is impressive, and a little familiar. Michelle Bernstein, chef/owner of Michy's and consulting Chef for Social is back with her Sandra Bernhard drawl; Scott Conant Chef/owner of L'impero and Alto joins her along with Wylie DuFresne, a famous molecular gastronomist and chef/owner of Wd-50, and Roy Yamaguchi of Roy's Steakhouse in Hawaii. The Guest Judge for the final challenge will be Hubert Keller, chef/owner of Fleur de Lys in San Fran and Vegas.
Ilan went first, and started with pan con tomatte with baby eels and caviar. He had been leading Daddy Tom on with the promise of a "surprise" as his first course, but no one was shocked or awed. Guest Judge Hubert said the eels were interesting, just not enough to make an impression. Wylie DuFrense calls the toast soggy and Chef Conant says nothing went together. Padma doesn't have much to add. She's too busy flying her plate around like a flying saucer in front of her glazed eyes, entranced.
He follows the eels up with a pan roasted moi over macadamia gazpacho, and it was right on the money. The mood at the table turned in an instant. Roy Yamaguchi cheered the macadamia nuts, and Michelle Bernstein had nothing but dramatic, sexy praise. Conant gives it a soap star turn in his thumbs up. He should have been holding a mic to coo into. "This is exactly what I look for in a young Chef." Eyebrow raise and nod. "He gets it."
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Comments (19)
Flipit, thanks for a great recap of disappointing finale. Who do you root for, the pompous nerd or the bullying douchebag.
Tough call. I hope you recap Top Chef 3 and they have a better cast!
1 of 19 | Posted by angiemarie
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Posted on February 4, 2007 12:05 PM
Man I was just hoping against hope that MolecularMonkey would pull out the win, just so that the other asswipes would be miserable. Alas, Ilan gets rewarded for ripping off recipes from his former employer. Blah
Flipit, the picture of Padma toking up was perfection. Bitch was high! So was Marcel during his exit interview, but I figure he knocked back a bunch of drinks before taping that. I would have.
2 of 19 | Posted by LaSexorcisto
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Posted on February 4, 2007 1:06 PM
Great recap -- thanks.
No, I have never peed on a cut, nor on a jellyfish sting...
I truly thought Marcel would win; his dishes were more creative than Ilan's and beautifully presented. If he hadn't mentioned that the fish and the vinaigrette teardrops were missing from his plates, FlabbyTom would have dobbed him in.
Too bad, Marcel. You conducted yourself with a great deal of grace in the face of the kinds of indignities no one should have to suffer.
3 of 19 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on February 4, 2007 2:50 PM
Sophie sounds like my neighbor.
Great recap once again. Maybe you could do 'Top Design' so we can still be blessed with your wit and charm.
Had a feeling Marcel was gonna lose. When the teardrop dressing melted, I knew he was doomed..... well I here Rosie will hire him, unless the "Donald" snaps him up.
Love you!!!
4 of 19 | Posted by chooch850
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Posted on February 4, 2007 4:10 PM
I'm from Hawaii and I can say that the pee actually disinfects/cuts the pain on things like jellyfish stings, etc. Never been pricked by a sea urchin, but i'm assuming this is where they got the idea. Or else Ilan just wanted to pee on the Monkey, which is entirely possible, skanky little bitch!
5 of 19 | Posted by Justine
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Posted on February 4, 2007 5:36 PM
Flipit - lovedddddddd the recap.
"Great recap once again. Maybe you could do 'Top Design' so we can still be blessed with your wit and charm."
At the beginning of the season you could not have convinced me that I would be rooting for Marcel in the end. That is how vile Ilan was. Vile enough to make me root for the man that upset our little Betty.
I also would love to know when Elia flipped the switch from being Marcel's friend to being so snotty to/about him.
Keep up the great work Flipit!
6 of 19 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on February 4, 2007 7:17 PM
For some odd reason it didn't show my comment after that quote "Great recap once again. Maybe you could do 'Top Design' so we can still be blessed with your wit and charm."
What I typed up was that you would be GREAT recapping Top Design and it is definitely already proving to be quite the snarkworthy program. I'd be willing to grovel and beg if that would help you decide.
7 of 19 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on February 4, 2007 7:19 PM
With the ratings that Top Chef got this season I have a feeling we will be seeing more of this awful behavior, not less.
Chef Tom and his telling the FoamBoy and One-Note Spainard that they were both 'worthy' of being Top Chef made me gag! Pahleaze.
Loved the Padmama toking, Flipit! Perfect.
hb
8 of 19 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on February 4, 2007 8:40 PM
you had to put that last pic in just for me- didn't you? :)
great recap Flipit! I wish the monkey boy would have thrown some poo at Ilan at the end, but he messed up when he picked his sous chef's. At least Sam was there to help him when he needed it, but his creative dishes couldn't make up for his lack of authority in the kitchen.
9 of 19 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on February 5, 2007 5:54 AM
Flipit, that pix of Padma smoking up was right on!! thanks for another enjoyable recap. i know you're not crazy abt Top Design but there is so much POTENTIAL there--come'on, whn the winning design is a quasi-litterbox, you can be sure there will be oodles to snark about!
10 of 19 | Posted by Tati
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Posted on February 5, 2007 7:21 AM
Awesome recap. What a bittersweet episode. I'm glad that season is done, I was so over the drama of those idiots. But at the same time I will miss your recaps. Hilarious pics too.
11 of 19 | Posted by photochild
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Posted on February 5, 2007 7:31 AM
Disappointing. Boring. Project Runway was so much better this season!
I cannot wait for Work Out!
12 of 19 | Posted by AC
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Posted on February 5, 2007 8:44 AM
THANK YOU GUYS. Yay Monday!
I am working on the Top Design recap today so it should be up by tomorrow morning. That show is waay better when you're wasted and have a fresh pizza in front of you. Thanks for the hollas !
LOVE
13 of 19 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on February 5, 2007 10:38 AM
Flipit, you did a great job with such a disappointing season!
Marcel was annoying, Ilan was a douche, and Elia quickly went from "favorite" to "pseudo-Betty" status.
I read that Ilan dissed Harold (from last season), did anyone else see/hear that?
14 of 19 | Posted by MissKatrina
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Posted on February 5, 2007 11:59 AM
Hey Flipit, great recap as always. It's sad to see the whiny (obviously gay) Jew win as the monkey deserved the win!! What does he know about Spanish food anyways? I would expect that bullshit coming out of the French Mexican (Elia).
As you and I have disagreed on the j-smoking Padma, I took your advice and Googled her. Let's just say that I love her MORE. I cannot wait for the return of Padma and the return of your recaps in S3.
15 of 19 | Posted by HokieJM
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Posted on February 5, 2007 12:16 PM
Flipit you have done a wonderful job all season... anything you write will be worth our reading so keep at it.... you would be missed if you did not recap something here and top design drunk might be the perfect way because that show sucked in it's own special way...
I will not restate the obvious here about who I think should have won top chef....... you all have read it before and it is plainly written over and over again in these comments.
Marcel if you do read this know many of us were pulling for you and you finished the show a winnner in our book.
Ilan if you are reading this..shut up. you should have been gone anyway...and the crap you said about Marcel, and the way you acted behind the camera that night, and the crap you said about Harold. WhoTF do you think you are....... SHUT UP
16 of 19 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on February 5, 2007 12:22 PM
Wait a second. Mr. Ilan "I'm going to dress like a bad super mario brothers character" was talking smack about Harold?! Oh it's on now! :)
17 of 19 | Posted by Laurie
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Posted on February 6, 2007 7:22 AM
Oh, yes he did! Little bastard! Check it out on YouTube here.
or if that link doesn't work here it is again.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0EsydcEDmQ
HEART
18 of 19 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on February 6, 2007 5:42 PM
wow. what a love fest here.
Loved Ilan in leather, tho daddy Tom deserves an outfit too.
19 of 19 | Posted by dredge
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Posted on February 7, 2007 1:28 PM