Back in the kitchen, things are getting testy. Elia treats us to more whining, saying it's hard to cook for someone else's win, but she'll do it. She doesn't want to mess Ilan up. That's real big of you, Elia. You LOST. Get over it and flip the damn fish over. Betty did her best to juggle the many components of Ilan's squab and surf, and eventually freaked out because the heads were coming off the shrimp. Ilan snapped at her, but thankfully she didn't walk out of the kitchen and refuse to serve, like she did during the Deadly Sins Challenge. OK, enough ragging on Betty. She's been chopped, her abuse should stop now. She smiles reeeeeal big and says "I don't want to ruuuiin it for him!"
Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaccckkk!
Nothing was ruined. The squab was a smash. Yamaguchi loved the seafood sauce with the tender poultry. Daddy Tom said it captured the essence of lobster and worked perfectly. Score. The beef short ribs with romesco were like the squab's jealous sibling. We're from the same womb! How is she so much better than me?!? And how many baby gifts am I expected to buy, exactly? Oh sorry. Indian food sucks. Moving on to pudding.
The short ribs were good, but there was something...missing. Michelle Bernstein said she was left wanting something to "sop it up with". A bread basket can make or break you, people. The ribs were not a failure by any means, but they weren't a raging success, either. And even though Ilan doesn't know much about pastry, his dessert was the perfect cap to his meal. The multi colored sorbets were topped with a battered and fried bay leaf and no one didn't praise it. Ilan's meal was a firm success. Before he goes out to thank the Judges, he is full of positivity. "If I don't win, I still win!" Uh...no you don't. After the Judges heap their praise on him, he isn't as sweet. "Marcel doesn't have a chance." Then he gets all gay and huggy with Betty and Elia and cocktail hour begins.
Marcel's day started off a bit rocky. As he was doing a last run through to make sure they were't forgetting to take anything to their space, he found stuff that wasn't packed. Mikey is shifty eyed, but that's how he always is, so I can't tell if he's screwin' the monkey on purpose or not. Sam tells us a line cook is only as good as his Chef, which sounds like "yeah Mikey fucked up and you should have known he was going to." No kidding. What real Chef would choose Mikey for the final challenge? As they leave the kitchen, the camera crew stays behind to go get shots of the two pans of abandoned fish. Ruh-roh. Never trust a camera man. That's probably the same guy who told Marcel to pee on his finger.
Marcel is impressed with today's Guests. Especially Wally DuFresne, the molecular gastronomist. Wally looks like he is considering eating Marcel whole.
His stress level isn't helped by the complete lack of competence in the kitchen. First there are missing orchids. No one brought them. Then Marcel notices that his milk measurements weren't right for the mousse. Mikey shrugs. He confused cups for quarts. I know Mike's an idiot, but is anyone really this dumb? Seems like he's tryin' to trip up the process, but the only time he wasn't trippin' up was when he was trippin', so I am still unsure of his motives.
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Comments (19)
Flipit, thanks for a great recap of disappointing finale. Who do you root for, the pompous nerd or the bullying douchebag.
Tough call. I hope you recap Top Chef 3 and they have a better cast!
1 of 19 | Posted by angiemarie
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Posted on February 4, 2007 12:05 PM
Man I was just hoping against hope that MolecularMonkey would pull out the win, just so that the other asswipes would be miserable. Alas, Ilan gets rewarded for ripping off recipes from his former employer. Blah
Flipit, the picture of Padma toking up was perfection. Bitch was high! So was Marcel during his exit interview, but I figure he knocked back a bunch of drinks before taping that. I would have.
2 of 19 | Posted by LaSexorcisto
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Posted on February 4, 2007 1:06 PM
Great recap -- thanks.
No, I have never peed on a cut, nor on a jellyfish sting...
I truly thought Marcel would win; his dishes were more creative than Ilan's and beautifully presented. If he hadn't mentioned that the fish and the vinaigrette teardrops were missing from his plates, FlabbyTom would have dobbed him in.
Too bad, Marcel. You conducted yourself with a great deal of grace in the face of the kinds of indignities no one should have to suffer.
3 of 19 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on February 4, 2007 2:50 PM
Sophie sounds like my neighbor.
Great recap once again. Maybe you could do 'Top Design' so we can still be blessed with your wit and charm.
Had a feeling Marcel was gonna lose. When the teardrop dressing melted, I knew he was doomed..... well I here Rosie will hire him, unless the "Donald" snaps him up.
Love you!!!
4 of 19 | Posted by chooch850
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Posted on February 4, 2007 4:10 PM
I'm from Hawaii and I can say that the pee actually disinfects/cuts the pain on things like jellyfish stings, etc. Never been pricked by a sea urchin, but i'm assuming this is where they got the idea. Or else Ilan just wanted to pee on the Monkey, which is entirely possible, skanky little bitch!
5 of 19 | Posted by Justine
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Posted on February 4, 2007 5:36 PM
Flipit - lovedddddddd the recap.
"Great recap once again. Maybe you could do 'Top Design' so we can still be blessed with your wit and charm."
At the beginning of the season you could not have convinced me that I would be rooting for Marcel in the end. That is how vile Ilan was. Vile enough to make me root for the man that upset our little Betty.
I also would love to know when Elia flipped the switch from being Marcel's friend to being so snotty to/about him.
Keep up the great work Flipit!
6 of 19 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on February 4, 2007 7:17 PM
For some odd reason it didn't show my comment after that quote "Great recap once again. Maybe you could do 'Top Design' so we can still be blessed with your wit and charm."
What I typed up was that you would be GREAT recapping Top Design and it is definitely already proving to be quite the snarkworthy program. I'd be willing to grovel and beg if that would help you decide.
7 of 19 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on February 4, 2007 7:19 PM
With the ratings that Top Chef got this season I have a feeling we will be seeing more of this awful behavior, not less.
Chef Tom and his telling the FoamBoy and One-Note Spainard that they were both 'worthy' of being Top Chef made me gag! Pahleaze.
Loved the Padmama toking, Flipit! Perfect.
hb
8 of 19 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on February 4, 2007 8:40 PM
you had to put that last pic in just for me- didn't you? :)
great recap Flipit! I wish the monkey boy would have thrown some poo at Ilan at the end, but he messed up when he picked his sous chef's. At least Sam was there to help him when he needed it, but his creative dishes couldn't make up for his lack of authority in the kitchen.
9 of 19 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on February 5, 2007 5:54 AM
Flipit, that pix of Padma smoking up was right on!! thanks for another enjoyable recap. i know you're not crazy abt Top Design but there is so much POTENTIAL there--come'on, whn the winning design is a quasi-litterbox, you can be sure there will be oodles to snark about!
10 of 19 | Posted by Tati
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Posted on February 5, 2007 7:21 AM
Awesome recap. What a bittersweet episode. I'm glad that season is done, I was so over the drama of those idiots. But at the same time I will miss your recaps. Hilarious pics too.
11 of 19 | Posted by photochild
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Posted on February 5, 2007 7:31 AM
Disappointing. Boring. Project Runway was so much better this season!
I cannot wait for Work Out!
12 of 19 | Posted by AC
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Posted on February 5, 2007 8:44 AM
THANK YOU GUYS. Yay Monday!
I am working on the Top Design recap today so it should be up by tomorrow morning. That show is waay better when you're wasted and have a fresh pizza in front of you. Thanks for the hollas !
LOVE
13 of 19 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on February 5, 2007 10:38 AM
Flipit, you did a great job with such a disappointing season!
Marcel was annoying, Ilan was a douche, and Elia quickly went from "favorite" to "pseudo-Betty" status.
I read that Ilan dissed Harold (from last season), did anyone else see/hear that?
14 of 19 | Posted by MissKatrina
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Posted on February 5, 2007 11:59 AM
Hey Flipit, great recap as always. It's sad to see the whiny (obviously gay) Jew win as the monkey deserved the win!! What does he know about Spanish food anyways? I would expect that bullshit coming out of the French Mexican (Elia).
As you and I have disagreed on the j-smoking Padma, I took your advice and Googled her. Let's just say that I love her MORE. I cannot wait for the return of Padma and the return of your recaps in S3.
15 of 19 | Posted by HokieJM
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Posted on February 5, 2007 12:16 PM
Flipit you have done a wonderful job all season... anything you write will be worth our reading so keep at it.... you would be missed if you did not recap something here and top design drunk might be the perfect way because that show sucked in it's own special way...
I will not restate the obvious here about who I think should have won top chef....... you all have read it before and it is plainly written over and over again in these comments.
Marcel if you do read this know many of us were pulling for you and you finished the show a winnner in our book.
Ilan if you are reading this..shut up. you should have been gone anyway...and the crap you said about Marcel, and the way you acted behind the camera that night, and the crap you said about Harold. WhoTF do you think you are....... SHUT UP
16 of 19 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on February 5, 2007 12:22 PM
Wait a second. Mr. Ilan "I'm going to dress like a bad super mario brothers character" was talking smack about Harold?! Oh it's on now! :)
17 of 19 | Posted by Laurie
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Posted on February 6, 2007 7:22 AM
Oh, yes he did! Little bastard! Check it out on YouTube here.
or if that link doesn't work here it is again.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0EsydcEDmQ
HEART
18 of 19 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on February 6, 2007 5:42 PM
wow. what a love fest here.
Loved Ilan in leather, tho daddy Tom deserves an outfit too.
19 of 19 | Posted by dredge
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Posted on February 7, 2007 1:28 PM