Marcel began his meal with a lemon gelee with sea urchin and caviar which scored. No one raved, but every guest was happy. And then it all started going downhill. The Tears of a Clown weren't quite coming out. I'll use Sam's words here. "The tear drops failed. Miserably." Tom warned Marcel about the humidity, but the monkey didn't listen, and now he was stuck with a plain old salad. Daddy Tom told the table about the Tear, so there's no pretending it was on purpose. Ilan didn't have any glaring mistakes like this, so unless Marcel pulls out the big guns, he's screwed. He does pull out a big gun, and shoots himself in the foot. No one can find the fish. Mikey doesn't get it. "Where's the fish? I'm not playing for a hundred grand, you are! You tell me where the fish is!" 
Sam suggests using sea beans sautéed in honey ginger instead, and they are forced to send the dish out fishless. When he presents to the Judges, he admits there was a mistake with the kampachi. He should have kept his mouth shut, because they loved it as it was. Michelle called it "round, bold and beautifully balanced" and kept on spouting adjectives. She finished with "it's dancing on my tongue!" That's probably my favorite new phrase of 2007, and I mutter it over and over as I gnaw on a frozen Snickers bar. Yamaguchi says the fish excuse should have been saved for the radish salad.
Marcel's sirloin with fried taro ball was also appreciated all around. His presentation was flawless. Gail feels that in general, Marcel's meal was much lighter and had an overall gentler progression. His blini with kona coffee caviar on top of a Hawaiian chocolate mousse was delicious and inventive, closing Marcel's meal out successfully. When all was said and done, the monkey knew he made mistakes, but was ultimately proud. He ended feeling confident that his meal was more creative than Ilan's, and the Judges pretty much agreed with that.
Guest Judge Hubert from Fleur De Lys is the only guest invited to the Judges table. Darn! I was hoping Michelle would be here to shoot love daggers at Sam, but no such luck. Gail and Hubert both named Marcel the most "cutting edge". Then Gail said on the other hand, it was a little light. Wait. You said that before like it was a good thing. Lighter = points off. Got it.
When they put each Chef's dishes in a head to head, Marcel's sea urchin easily beat Ilan's eel pan con tomatte, but Ilan came back with his juicy, tender moi and obliterated Marcel's salad. The Judges were only being human when they found the salad offensive. A radish salad to boot. Just serve me tiny nails and be done with it. Padma doesn't think the Teardrop would have been enough to make that choice the right one.
They tied with their third courses. Both were delicious and interesting enough to win. The monkey's sirloin beat the short ribs, but dessert was another tie. So with that math, Marcel wins by a dish. But the overall Chef is what counts, so the Judges call in the Sous Chefs. This should be good.
Betty and Elia loved working for Ilan, and think he should win even though admittedly they didn't try Marcel's food. Elia said Ilan has to win, because at least people can work for him. Marcel is a disaster in the kitchen. Gail points out again that she didn't taste Marcel's food and Elia says incredulously "was it good?" and Gail snapped "yes! It was amazing!" Shut up, Elia. Don't make them kick you off again.
Mikey starts ripping the monkey apart the second the Judges address him. He says at first everything was organized, but when they got to the kitchen, he had no idea what was going on. Apparently. Guest Judge Hubert asks Sam how involved he was in the menu, and Sam said he put out the missing fish fire with the sea bean. That was one of Hubert's favorite parts of the meal, which takes off points from the monkey. In the head to head it tied with Ilan's squab, so the Sam influence makes them even. I hope Marcel doesn't march in and deny that Sam put the sea beans together, like Tiffany did last year with Dave. He needs every point he can get right now.
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Comments (19)
Flipit, thanks for a great recap of disappointing finale. Who do you root for, the pompous nerd or the bullying douchebag.
Tough call. I hope you recap Top Chef 3 and they have a better cast!
1 of 19 | Posted by angiemarie
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Posted on February 4, 2007 12:05 PM
Man I was just hoping against hope that MolecularMonkey would pull out the win, just so that the other asswipes would be miserable. Alas, Ilan gets rewarded for ripping off recipes from his former employer. Blah
Flipit, the picture of Padma toking up was perfection. Bitch was high! So was Marcel during his exit interview, but I figure he knocked back a bunch of drinks before taping that. I would have.
2 of 19 | Posted by LaSexorcisto
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Posted on February 4, 2007 1:06 PM
Great recap -- thanks.
No, I have never peed on a cut, nor on a jellyfish sting...
I truly thought Marcel would win; his dishes were more creative than Ilan's and beautifully presented. If he hadn't mentioned that the fish and the vinaigrette teardrops were missing from his plates, FlabbyTom would have dobbed him in.
Too bad, Marcel. You conducted yourself with a great deal of grace in the face of the kinds of indignities no one should have to suffer.
3 of 19 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates!
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Posted on February 4, 2007 2:50 PM
Sophie sounds like my neighbor.
Great recap once again. Maybe you could do 'Top Design' so we can still be blessed with your wit and charm.
Had a feeling Marcel was gonna lose. When the teardrop dressing melted, I knew he was doomed..... well I here Rosie will hire him, unless the "Donald" snaps him up.
Love you!!!
4 of 19 | Posted by chooch850
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Posted on February 4, 2007 4:10 PM
I'm from Hawaii and I can say that the pee actually disinfects/cuts the pain on things like jellyfish stings, etc. Never been pricked by a sea urchin, but i'm assuming this is where they got the idea. Or else Ilan just wanted to pee on the Monkey, which is entirely possible, skanky little bitch!
5 of 19 | Posted by Justine
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Posted on February 4, 2007 5:36 PM
Flipit - lovedddddddd the recap.
"Great recap once again. Maybe you could do 'Top Design' so we can still be blessed with your wit and charm."
At the beginning of the season you could not have convinced me that I would be rooting for Marcel in the end. That is how vile Ilan was. Vile enough to make me root for the man that upset our little Betty.
I also would love to know when Elia flipped the switch from being Marcel's friend to being so snotty to/about him.
Keep up the great work Flipit!
6 of 19 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on February 4, 2007 7:17 PM
For some odd reason it didn't show my comment after that quote "Great recap once again. Maybe you could do 'Top Design' so we can still be blessed with your wit and charm."
What I typed up was that you would be GREAT recapping Top Design and it is definitely already proving to be quite the snarkworthy program. I'd be willing to grovel and beg if that would help you decide.
7 of 19 | Posted by TinkerbellAPixie
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Posted on February 4, 2007 7:19 PM
With the ratings that Top Chef got this season I have a feeling we will be seeing more of this awful behavior, not less.
Chef Tom and his telling the FoamBoy and One-Note Spainard that they were both 'worthy' of being Top Chef made me gag! Pahleaze.
Loved the Padmama toking, Flipit! Perfect.
hb
8 of 19 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on February 4, 2007 8:40 PM
you had to put that last pic in just for me- didn't you? :)
great recap Flipit! I wish the monkey boy would have thrown some poo at Ilan at the end, but he messed up when he picked his sous chef's. At least Sam was there to help him when he needed it, but his creative dishes couldn't make up for his lack of authority in the kitchen.
9 of 19 | Posted by zoobabe
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Posted on February 5, 2007 5:54 AM
Flipit, that pix of Padma smoking up was right on!! thanks for another enjoyable recap. i know you're not crazy abt Top Design but there is so much POTENTIAL there--come'on, whn the winning design is a quasi-litterbox, you can be sure there will be oodles to snark about!
10 of 19 | Posted by Tati
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Posted on February 5, 2007 7:21 AM
Awesome recap. What a bittersweet episode. I'm glad that season is done, I was so over the drama of those idiots. But at the same time I will miss your recaps. Hilarious pics too.
11 of 19 | Posted by photochild
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Posted on February 5, 2007 7:31 AM
Disappointing. Boring. Project Runway was so much better this season!
I cannot wait for Work Out!
12 of 19 | Posted by AC
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Posted on February 5, 2007 8:44 AM
THANK YOU GUYS. Yay Monday!
I am working on the Top Design recap today so it should be up by tomorrow morning. That show is waay better when you're wasted and have a fresh pizza in front of you. Thanks for the hollas !
LOVE
13 of 19 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on February 5, 2007 10:38 AM
Flipit, you did a great job with such a disappointing season!
Marcel was annoying, Ilan was a douche, and Elia quickly went from "favorite" to "pseudo-Betty" status.
I read that Ilan dissed Harold (from last season), did anyone else see/hear that?
14 of 19 | Posted by MissKatrina
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Posted on February 5, 2007 11:59 AM
Hey Flipit, great recap as always. It's sad to see the whiny (obviously gay) Jew win as the monkey deserved the win!! What does he know about Spanish food anyways? I would expect that bullshit coming out of the French Mexican (Elia).
As you and I have disagreed on the j-smoking Padma, I took your advice and Googled her. Let's just say that I love her MORE. I cannot wait for the return of Padma and the return of your recaps in S3.
15 of 19 | Posted by HokieJM
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Posted on February 5, 2007 12:16 PM
Flipit you have done a wonderful job all season... anything you write will be worth our reading so keep at it.... you would be missed if you did not recap something here and top design drunk might be the perfect way because that show sucked in it's own special way...
I will not restate the obvious here about who I think should have won top chef....... you all have read it before and it is plainly written over and over again in these comments.
Marcel if you do read this know many of us were pulling for you and you finished the show a winnner in our book.
Ilan if you are reading this..shut up. you should have been gone anyway...and the crap you said about Marcel, and the way you acted behind the camera that night, and the crap you said about Harold. WhoTF do you think you are....... SHUT UP
16 of 19 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on February 5, 2007 12:22 PM
Wait a second. Mr. Ilan "I'm going to dress like a bad super mario brothers character" was talking smack about Harold?! Oh it's on now! :)
17 of 19 | Posted by Laurie
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Posted on February 6, 2007 7:22 AM
Oh, yes he did! Little bastard! Check it out on YouTube here.
or if that link doesn't work here it is again.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0EsydcEDmQ
HEART
18 of 19 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on February 6, 2007 5:42 PM
wow. what a love fest here.
Loved Ilan in leather, tho daddy Tom deserves an outfit too.
19 of 19 | Posted by dredge
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Posted on February 7, 2007 1:28 PM