winnerpoll.gifIlan and Marcel come before the judges. Light the lights! Tune up the orchestra! It's time to tap dance! Ilan is humble and innocent. He thinks that even though he has stuck with Spanish, he's tried to step out of the box. He would be a better Top Chef than Marcel because he is kinder, gentler, and more forgiving. He respects people. Sweet harp music fills the air. I find it awesome that he has the nerve to say that with such sweet conviction two weeks after he instigated the monkey rape, and four weeks after dissing Marcel in front of the guests at the Deadly Sins challenge. You can say what you want about the monkey and I'd agree with you, but at least he's up front with who he is. Ilan's a manipulative, lying little snake. He's just enough of an a hole for me to fall in love with him, but....ew, no.

padmablunt.gifStill, everyone hates Marcel. And if he's going to be hated, he at least has to be respected/feared in order to lead. He's not at all forceful, but I'm kind of impressed how he always keeps it together. He gives Sam due credit for the sea beans and hearts of palm. He says he put too much trust in his Sous Chefs but at the same time, he didn't give them enough of a grasp of the big picture. Padma asks him why everyone has a problem with him and he pulls out the old "didn't come here to make friends" routine. If he had any chance at this point of winning, it was to blame his teammates of sabotage and be teary eyed and misunderstood. But, to his credit, he doesn't go there.

marcelloses.gifThe Judges are finding the call tough to make. Both prepared a fantastic final meal, but both had problems. At the end of the day, Ilan sticks to one thing, but does it really well. Marcel is creative and inventive, but might need some more time to get a full arsenal of tricks to entertain the circus circuit. Ilan wins and grins like a little girl. Marcel keeps his mouth shut at the time, but his testimonial is a different story. Looks like Padma passed him the blunt. "I was (bleep) surprised when they called Ilan. I thought it was gonna take more than (bleep) saffron and paprika to beat me, but I guess not. It's extremely disappointing." Ilan is elated, and says he looks forward to maturing. I think we can all second that.

So what do you think, dear Readers? Are you pleased with the outcome, furious, or indifferent? Was the monkey sabotaged? Have you ever peed on a cut?

jailedmonkey.gif

On a personal note I would like to thank you, TVgasm readers, for choosing me as your recapper. It's been wonderful and prosperous, and a pleasure working for ya. Until next time! HEART, Flipit.

Recap: Top Chef: And Gosh Darn It, People Like Me! Sections:  1  |  2  |  3  |  4  |  5 

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Comments (19)

angiemarie Author Profile Page:

Flipit, thanks for a great recap of disappointing finale. Who do you root for, the pompous nerd or the bullying douchebag.

Tough call. I hope you recap Top Chef 3 and they have a better cast!

LaSexorcisto Author Profile Page:

Man I was just hoping against hope that MolecularMonkey would pull out the win, just so that the other asswipes would be miserable. Alas, Ilan gets rewarded for ripping off recipes from his former employer. Blah

Flipit, the picture of Padma toking up was perfection. Bitch was high! So was Marcel during his exit interview, but I figure he knocked back a bunch of drinks before taping that. I would have.

Donna Martin Graduates! Author Profile Page:

Great recap -- thanks.

No, I have never peed on a cut, nor on a jellyfish sting...

I truly thought Marcel would win; his dishes were more creative than Ilan's and beautifully presented. If he hadn't mentioned that the fish and the vinaigrette teardrops were missing from his plates, FlabbyTom would have dobbed him in.

Too bad, Marcel. You conducted yourself with a great deal of grace in the face of the kinds of indignities no one should have to suffer.

chooch850 Author Profile Page:

Sophie sounds like my neighbor.

Great recap once again. Maybe you could do 'Top Design' so we can still be blessed with your wit and charm.

Had a feeling Marcel was gonna lose. When the teardrop dressing melted, I knew he was doomed..... well I here Rosie will hire him, unless the "Donald" snaps him up.

Love you!!!

Justine Author Profile Page:

I'm from Hawaii and I can say that the pee actually disinfects/cuts the pain on things like jellyfish stings, etc. Never been pricked by a sea urchin, but i'm assuming this is where they got the idea. Or else Ilan just wanted to pee on the Monkey, which is entirely possible, skanky little bitch!

TinkerbellAPixie Author Profile Page:

Flipit - lovedddddddd the recap.

"Great recap once again. Maybe you could do 'Top Design' so we can still be blessed with your wit and charm."

At the beginning of the season you could not have convinced me that I would be rooting for Marcel in the end. That is how vile Ilan was. Vile enough to make me root for the man that upset our little Betty.

I also would love to know when Elia flipped the switch from being Marcel's friend to being so snotty to/about him.

Keep up the great work Flipit!

TinkerbellAPixie Author Profile Page:

For some odd reason it didn't show my comment after that quote "Great recap once again. Maybe you could do 'Top Design' so we can still be blessed with your wit and charm."

What I typed up was that you would be GREAT recapping Top Design and it is definitely already proving to be quite the snarkworthy program. I'd be willing to grovel and beg if that would help you decide.

HoneyBunny Author Profile Page:

With the ratings that Top Chef got this season I have a feeling we will be seeing more of this awful behavior, not less.
Chef Tom and his telling the FoamBoy and One-Note Spainard that they were both 'worthy' of being Top Chef made me gag! Pahleaze.

Loved the Padmama toking, Flipit! Perfect.


hb

zoobabe Author Profile Page:

you had to put that last pic in just for me- didn't you? :)

great recap Flipit! I wish the monkey boy would have thrown some poo at Ilan at the end, but he messed up when he picked his sous chef's. At least Sam was there to help him when he needed it, but his creative dishes couldn't make up for his lack of authority in the kitchen.

Tati Author Profile Page:

Flipit, that pix of Padma smoking up was right on!! thanks for another enjoyable recap. i know you're not crazy abt Top Design but there is so much POTENTIAL there--come'on, whn the winning design is a quasi-litterbox, you can be sure there will be oodles to snark about!

photochild Author Profile Page:

Awesome recap. What a bittersweet episode. I'm glad that season is done, I was so over the drama of those idiots. But at the same time I will miss your recaps. Hilarious pics too.

AC Author Profile Page:

Disappointing. Boring. Project Runway was so much better this season!

I cannot wait for Work Out!

Flipit Author Profile Page:

THANK YOU GUYS. Yay Monday!

I am working on the Top Design recap today so it should be up by tomorrow morning. That show is waay better when you're wasted and have a fresh pizza in front of you. Thanks for the hollas !

LOVE

MissKatrina Author Profile Page:

Flipit, you did a great job with such a disappointing season!

Marcel was annoying, Ilan was a douche, and Elia quickly went from "favorite" to "pseudo-Betty" status.

I read that Ilan dissed Harold (from last season), did anyone else see/hear that?

HokieJM Author Profile Page:

Hey Flipit, great recap as always. It's sad to see the whiny (obviously gay) Jew win as the monkey deserved the win!! What does he know about Spanish food anyways? I would expect that bullshit coming out of the French Mexican (Elia).
As you and I have disagreed on the j-smoking Padma, I took your advice and Googled her. Let's just say that I love her MORE. I cannot wait for the return of Padma and the return of your recaps in S3.

GIFFORDSAZ Author Profile Page:

Flipit you have done a wonderful job all season... anything you write will be worth our reading so keep at it.... you would be missed if you did not recap something here and top design drunk might be the perfect way because that show sucked in it's own special way...
I will not restate the obvious here about who I think should have won top chef....... you all have read it before and it is plainly written over and over again in these comments.

Marcel if you do read this know many of us were pulling for you and you finished the show a winnner in our book.

Ilan if you are reading this..shut up. you should have been gone anyway...and the crap you said about Marcel, and the way you acted behind the camera that night, and the crap you said about Harold. WhoTF do you think you are....... SHUT UP

Laurie Author Profile Page:

Wait a second. Mr. Ilan "I'm going to dress like a bad super mario brothers character" was talking smack about Harold?! Oh it's on now! :)

Flipit Author Profile Page:

Oh, yes he did! Little bastard! Check it out on YouTube here.

or if that link doesn't work here it is again.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0EsydcEDmQ

HEART

dredge Author Profile Page:

wow. what a love fest here.
Loved Ilan in leather, tho daddy Tom deserves an outfit too.

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