"Flipit, there's a starving child in India who would kill for that pile of peas."
"Then do us all a favor and mail them to him, mother!"
I didn't want them when they were fresh, I hellaain't gonna eat 'em the next day all gussied (drowning in plastic-y cheese) up. Get those peas out of my face, woman. They are Left. Over. Ok?
This week on Top Chef, we learn that you can make truly beautiful art with food you didn't have the stomach for last night, but sometimes it's ok to just feed the unwanted filler to the dogs.
As it is Season 3's tradition, Marcel has to ring in each new episode by annoying the hell out of someone first thing in the morning. Since there's no unconscious, defenseless fat guy sleeping on the couch today, we're force fed a face to face with him.
He's really, like, all sorts of distraught and disappointed that his first win on a team (first win period, yo) was marred by the Black Betty Fat Camp Scandal of 2006. I looked up the winning three course meal from last week on bravotv.com. Frank was in charge of the pizza (that was Betty's suggestion), Betty was in charge of the cursed cookies, and that left only one dish for Marcel to be responsible for. Cut up fruit on a kabob stick. I swear to God. I wish I was one of the Chefs at the breakfast table just so I could raise a glass to Marcel and toast "That fruit stick was bold, Marcel. Congrats, buddy." Puh. Leeze.
The mood in the loft this morning is decidedly chilly.
Betty, who has obviously taken the allotted sleep hours to build back some of her resolve (go girl), insists that she didn't cheat. Her "error was a mistake". Cut to Betty with braided pig-tails using her electric toothbrush a little too intensely. This morning Betty doesn't run around giving everyone a personal kiss on the cheek and an over-enthusiastic smile, and the room suffers for it. There's a new girl in town.
Craaaaaaaaaaack...
Josie's still on her soapbox about betrayal and lack of camaraderie among the chefs. She says that the only one she trusts is Marisa. They have become very close, and prove it at the breakfast table by slurping on the same plumb. GROSS.
BFF
Today's Guest Judge is Michelle Bernstein, owner of Michy in Miami and consulting chef at both Miami and LA's Social. Michelle looks sexy and fun in her tight black denim dress and big curly 'do. Now it's Carlos' turn to fawn over a guest judge. No simple and rustic for him. Gay guys like their women difficult and post-modern, IE drama queens. Yay!
Today's Quickfire Challenge is centered around left-overs, which immediately made me hope the remaining twelve Chefs would have to go dumpster diving in downtown LA. That would be a good punishment for all of last week's bad behavior. Top Chef hasn't had a homeless challenge yet.
It was actually worse. Michelle smiled and motioned to large tables covered in animal guts. I was waiting for the guy from "Saw" to get up off the floor missing half his head to lecture the Chefs about being better people, or else. In fancy foodie talk, the left-over animal parts are called "offal", fittingly pronounced "awful". Last week douche, this week awful, I can't wait for PimplePuss: the Fine Dining Pudding Stir-off. Michelle says that she serves a lot of offal in her restaurants. Way to self-promote, Michelle.
The goal was to take this smorgasboard of fish heads, pig blood, chicken feet, and beef hearts and turn them into dishes that don't make people want to vomit.
Sam says that he's psyched about this challenge because he knows lots of different flavor profiles for these ingredients. My mind is poisoned with the image of hot diabetic Sam sitting around in his tighty whities gnawing on chicken feet. Just because you can't have candy doesn't mean you can't snack!
« America's Next Top TVgasm Writers: Winners Announced! | Main | Daily Digest: November 20, 2006 »
Comments (19)
Um... what?
1 of 19 | Posted by MalloryS
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 1:41 PM
uhhh.. Flipit? Next time, you should just break the pill in half. Cause, see, this was under the Top Chef recap banner, and it was your notes for TAR. Sounds like it will be funny, though. 'Puters! who can figger 'em out? :-)
2 of 19 | Posted by WDWBelle
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 1:44 PM
haha... looks like someone copied and pasted the wrong thing. it's like seeing behind the scenes at tvgasm with all those TAR notes.
3 of 19 | Posted by yaytv
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 1:51 PM
Wow - doesn't it suck when you screw up on your first day at work?
Congrats on winning the contest, Flipit! We all look forward to reading your recaps.
But not your recap notes.
4 of 19 | Posted by dagnytaggart
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 1:52 PM
ouch. Well it is monday, and your first day on the job....
5 of 19 | Posted by Laurie
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 2:06 PM
I hate the single moms, especially the littler, nastier one. Couldn't they have informed the Chos at some point that they didn't want to feel obligated to team up anymore? The moms sure took advantage of the brothers up until they left them in the dust. That said, the Chos were total chumps and deserved to lose. Nice guys, but total chumps.
6 of 19 | Posted by Whore With No Name
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 2:46 PM
OKay that was all MY FAULT!!! SORRY!!!
Haha, I don'ot know why it's so embarrassing to have my notes exposed to the world, but I feel like you all just saw me naked! How awkward!
7 of 19 | Posted by B-Side
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 2:50 PM
Great recap, once it was really posted! It's okay B-Side, we'll pretend we didn't see.
8 of 19 | Posted by yaytv
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 3:28 PM
Josie doesn't just have talent. She has PASSION!!
Glad to see Marisa go - she was total dead weight.
And I love that Elia wanted to bring out the flavor of the kidney. I'm not huge on human anatomy, but don't kidneys filter WASTE from the system. Yeah, please - bring out that flavor. Yum.
9 of 19 | Posted by Barfly
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 3:32 PM
LOL
Bside, I think I have a crush on you. Thanks for your support on the first recap guys. Me love this site long time and I am proud to be a part of it.
Heart,
Flipit
10 of 19 | Posted by Flipit
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 4:21 PM
I was going to individually point out all the comments that made me laugh, starting with "PimplePuss" (!) but by the time I got to the end the list was too long. Awesome recap.
11 of 19 | Posted by Strock9
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 5:40 PM
Has anyone brought up the Marisa Churchill calendar yet? Yeah, because I love you all, I'll put the link right here.
http://marisachurchill.com/calendar.php
I particularly like the shot where she's holding the cupcake right in her crotch.
12 of 19 | Posted by sugarshane12
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 5:54 PM
Marisa looks like Shelley Duvall's uglier baby sister. She should spend more time learning some recipes.
That picture of Josie is just...ugh. Too much sniveling about talent from her mediocre ass.
I thought the guest judge was a huge bitch. I think Sam is full of shit and is a bigger dick than Marcel who's supposed to be the villain. I can't wait for Mia to get the boot either.
13 of 19 | Posted by LaSexorcisto
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 6:32 PM
Wow, maybe I should have voted on these. THIS is who you guys voted for. It reads like a crackhead's parody of a typical TvGasm recap. Why would you have a Top Chef recapper who knows barely anything about gourmet food and doesn't even seem to like it? At least with EdHill and Project Runway he can appreciate the clothes even if he admits to not knowing that much about them.
FoiE Gras is not that mysterious of an ingredient. It's used all the time in good cooking. Also, while I can understand being repulsed by the idea of offal, there is a very good reason that people pay through the nose for most of them: they are delicious. I admit to not being a very big fan of chicken feet, but everything else on there that I have tried has been amazing. I know I am being really pretentious, but I really cannot stand it when people make good food out to seem ridiculous because they think its gross. I guess this is why Top Chef has to include all those TGI Friday's challenges and the like.
14 of 19 | Posted by chasgoose
|
Posted on November 20, 2006 11:18 PM
Great recap. I have to say that I laughed out loud many times. Congrats on winning the contest and I look forward to reading more of your recaps. This one was too funny.
I thought not knowing about foie gras (or so Flipit says) led up to the great line about choosing Sam and Cliff for the win. I don't expect our recappers to know about every single thing that happens in an episode and sometimes (as in this instance) it leads to a funny.
15 of 19 | Posted by g3
|
Posted on November 21, 2006 3:43 AM
Oh, and the guest judge was ANGRY? Angry?
How about disappointed? Surprised? Annoyed? Irritated?
I'd hate to see her reaction to something that would actually make a reasonable person angry.
16 of 19 | Posted by g3
|
Posted on November 21, 2006 3:49 AM
Flipit, I really liked the the recap. Don't listen to the haters.
BTW - Elia is Mexican. Sorry to nitpick, but an otherwise hilarious recap. Great start.
Oh, and since B-side said it was like seeing him naked, I'm sorry I missed the TAR notes being posted.
17 of 19 | Posted by tiffgasm
|
Posted on November 21, 2006 7:43 AM
And I'm glad Marisa got sent home. For a pastry chef, she seems to have effed up most of her desserts so she spends her time trying to compensate by trashing the other chefs.
18 of 19 | Posted by tiffgasm
|
Posted on November 21, 2006 7:50 AM
Love it Flipit.... CONGRATULATIONS ON THE JOB!! I am so fine with these two going home this week......as soon as they partnered up I expected two would go. Tom (whom I love on this show) did seem a little put out having to miss the party while he babysat in the kitchen, kinda like sitting at the kids table at Thanksgiving... speaking of Thanksgiving, I need a recipe for the pretzel, cream cheese, strawberry jello salad!
19 of 19 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
|
Posted on November 26, 2006 6:22 PM