As you would expect, Michael has a hard-on for Jennifer's character in "American Pie", but I love J. Coolige because she is a brilliant comedienne, and she makes a living playing sexy women even though she's like fifty pounds overweight. The first time I saw one of her movies, it dawned on me that anything was possible. I started wearing clothes that were too tight for me and hitting on guys far out of my league, until my best friend had an intervention and told me I was way too fat to rock the baby tees. I was mortified and changed my myspace pics immediately, but it was too late. My friends call me Baby Flipit Phat to this day.
Wait. Should I love Jennifer Coolige or hate her?
Baby Flipit Phat
Everyone's smiling and happy with the challenge. Aw, a nice, peaceful episode of Top Chef!
Come on guys, don't be suckas.
For Jennifer and friends, the Chefs will be using anything they can find in the kitchen at Social (sticking with the left-over theme), and to sweeten the whole deal, they are going to be working in teams of two.
The chefs looked shocked and awed at this bit of info, and for once I didn't feel inferior to them. There are six courses and twelve of you. Do the math, Rosies on a bus.
They got to choose their partners, which was a blessing if you were Cliff or Sam. The cream that's so far risen to the top floated together. But what about Ilan? Odd man out again! What's his strategy? How is he going to kick it up a notch?
By choosing the biggest douche-bag on the face of Top Chef's planet, Michael. Brilliant move!
For the camera's sake, Ilan shrugs the decision off. He tells us that Mike has really grown in this competition, really refined his work. Poor Ilan. He smiles, but I'd bet you money that his inner dialogue went something like this:
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
Michael hasn't even heard the challenge yet. He's still psyched that he gets to meet Stifler's mom. The editors inserted some hilarious cartoony horns and did a close up on Michael's big pasty blank face. Note to editors: I have a crush on you.
Chefs scurried off to lock arms, leaving poor Frank with the guy who throws paper wads at his face while he's sleeping. Marcel relates the whole experience to prom. You're asked by someone you're not really into but you don't want to show up alone and look like a loser monkey so you accept the date even though you'd probably be better off staying home and jerking off to the David Schwimmer poster you have hanging above your bed.
Betty latches onto Mia, who happened to be standing next to her. They hug and act like they were born to cook one sixth of Jennifer Coolige's lunch together.
Marisa can't believe Mia has the balls to team up and be buddy buddy with Betty right after she "threw her under the bus" with the judges and didn't admit it to Betty's face. I agree with the slutty pastry chef to a degree. But I know people like Betty. They look at you with those puppy dog eyes and pout their lips and get all emotional like you've shared some major history and they just grab onto you and you're completely powerless. What was Mia gonna say? Betty will eventually find out Mia is a liar and be devastated, but we'll deal with that on the reunion show.
Marisa is judging Mia, and Josie is judging everyone, so they're a perfect team. I think we all collectively prayed there wouldn't be a bowl of fruit lying around somewhere at Social.
After the teams pulled numbered knives that determined course order, Michelle announced to the Chefs the winner will get join her at the Sagamore Hotel in Miami to "work with" her at the South Beach Food and Wine Festival. Marcel's fruit kabob would actually be understood in South Beach. He is chomping at the bit. Not because he gets to go to a hotel with Guest Judge Boobies, but because he would be able to "do networking". Oy.
Daddy Tom tells them that they have three hours to prepare their courses and each team will have twenty minutes exactly to plate their dishes. If it's not done in time, it can't leave the kitchen. And since they acted like a bunch of brats last week, he was going to stay for this challenge so he could baby sit them. This should be fun.
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Comments (19)
Um... what?
1 of 19 | Posted by MalloryS
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Posted on November 20, 2006 1:41 PM
uhhh.. Flipit? Next time, you should just break the pill in half. Cause, see, this was under the Top Chef recap banner, and it was your notes for TAR. Sounds like it will be funny, though. 'Puters! who can figger 'em out? :-)
2 of 19 | Posted by WDWBelle
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Posted on November 20, 2006 1:44 PM
haha... looks like someone copied and pasted the wrong thing. it's like seeing behind the scenes at tvgasm with all those TAR notes.
3 of 19 | Posted by yaytv
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Posted on November 20, 2006 1:51 PM
Wow - doesn't it suck when you screw up on your first day at work?
Congrats on winning the contest, Flipit! We all look forward to reading your recaps.
But not your recap notes.
4 of 19 | Posted by dagnytaggart
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Posted on November 20, 2006 1:52 PM
ouch. Well it is monday, and your first day on the job....
5 of 19 | Posted by Laurie
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Posted on November 20, 2006 2:06 PM
I hate the single moms, especially the littler, nastier one. Couldn't they have informed the Chos at some point that they didn't want to feel obligated to team up anymore? The moms sure took advantage of the brothers up until they left them in the dust. That said, the Chos were total chumps and deserved to lose. Nice guys, but total chumps.
6 of 19 | Posted by Whore With No Name
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Posted on November 20, 2006 2:46 PM
OKay that was all MY FAULT!!! SORRY!!!
Haha, I don'ot know why it's so embarrassing to have my notes exposed to the world, but I feel like you all just saw me naked! How awkward!
7 of 19 | Posted by B-Side
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Posted on November 20, 2006 2:50 PM
Great recap, once it was really posted! It's okay B-Side, we'll pretend we didn't see.
8 of 19 | Posted by yaytv
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Posted on November 20, 2006 3:28 PM
Josie doesn't just have talent. She has PASSION!!
Glad to see Marisa go - she was total dead weight.
And I love that Elia wanted to bring out the flavor of the kidney. I'm not huge on human anatomy, but don't kidneys filter WASTE from the system. Yeah, please - bring out that flavor. Yum.
9 of 19 | Posted by Barfly
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Posted on November 20, 2006 3:32 PM
LOL
Bside, I think I have a crush on you. Thanks for your support on the first recap guys. Me love this site long time and I am proud to be a part of it.
Heart,
Flipit
10 of 19 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on November 20, 2006 4:21 PM
I was going to individually point out all the comments that made me laugh, starting with "PimplePuss" (!) but by the time I got to the end the list was too long. Awesome recap.
11 of 19 | Posted by Strock9
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Posted on November 20, 2006 5:40 PM
Has anyone brought up the Marisa Churchill calendar yet? Yeah, because I love you all, I'll put the link right here.
http://marisachurchill.com/calendar.php
I particularly like the shot where she's holding the cupcake right in her crotch.
12 of 19 | Posted by sugarshane12
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Posted on November 20, 2006 5:54 PM
Marisa looks like Shelley Duvall's uglier baby sister. She should spend more time learning some recipes.
That picture of Josie is just...ugh. Too much sniveling about talent from her mediocre ass.
I thought the guest judge was a huge bitch. I think Sam is full of shit and is a bigger dick than Marcel who's supposed to be the villain. I can't wait for Mia to get the boot either.
13 of 19 | Posted by LaSexorcisto
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Posted on November 20, 2006 6:32 PM
Wow, maybe I should have voted on these. THIS is who you guys voted for. It reads like a crackhead's parody of a typical TvGasm recap. Why would you have a Top Chef recapper who knows barely anything about gourmet food and doesn't even seem to like it? At least with EdHill and Project Runway he can appreciate the clothes even if he admits to not knowing that much about them.
FoiE Gras is not that mysterious of an ingredient. It's used all the time in good cooking. Also, while I can understand being repulsed by the idea of offal, there is a very good reason that people pay through the nose for most of them: they are delicious. I admit to not being a very big fan of chicken feet, but everything else on there that I have tried has been amazing. I know I am being really pretentious, but I really cannot stand it when people make good food out to seem ridiculous because they think its gross. I guess this is why Top Chef has to include all those TGI Friday's challenges and the like.
14 of 19 | Posted by chasgoose
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Posted on November 20, 2006 11:18 PM
Great recap. I have to say that I laughed out loud many times. Congrats on winning the contest and I look forward to reading more of your recaps. This one was too funny.
I thought not knowing about foie gras (or so Flipit says) led up to the great line about choosing Sam and Cliff for the win. I don't expect our recappers to know about every single thing that happens in an episode and sometimes (as in this instance) it leads to a funny.
15 of 19 | Posted by g3
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Posted on November 21, 2006 3:43 AM
Oh, and the guest judge was ANGRY? Angry?
How about disappointed? Surprised? Annoyed? Irritated?
I'd hate to see her reaction to something that would actually make a reasonable person angry.
16 of 19 | Posted by g3
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Posted on November 21, 2006 3:49 AM
Flipit, I really liked the the recap. Don't listen to the haters.
BTW - Elia is Mexican. Sorry to nitpick, but an otherwise hilarious recap. Great start.
Oh, and since B-side said it was like seeing him naked, I'm sorry I missed the TAR notes being posted.
17 of 19 | Posted by tiffgasm
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Posted on November 21, 2006 7:43 AM
And I'm glad Marisa got sent home. For a pastry chef, she seems to have effed up most of her desserts so she spends her time trying to compensate by trashing the other chefs.
18 of 19 | Posted by tiffgasm
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Posted on November 21, 2006 7:50 AM
Love it Flipit.... CONGRATULATIONS ON THE JOB!! I am so fine with these two going home this week......as soon as they partnered up I expected two would go. Tom (whom I love on this show) did seem a little put out having to miss the party while he babysat in the kitchen, kinda like sitting at the kids table at Thanksgiving... speaking of Thanksgiving, I need a recipe for the pretzel, cream cheese, strawberry jello salad!
19 of 19 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on November 26, 2006 6:22 PM