This week, Top Chef taught us when in doubt, blend, New Jersey's not Manhattan, and Congress is responsible for sucky airplane food.
Scar gives props to the Bunny.
A sweet romantic comedy film score tinkles all through the Fountainbleau, where the cute little chefs are tucked away in their lime green duvets sleeping like widdle babies. No Joey or Howie snoring like a Flinstone, no Micah crying "MATILDA!!!", no early morning screams from Tre as he carves cliches into his skin...finally! A peaceful night's rest. And then Scar shows up to wake everyone, gets all "wacky", and showcases her "personality". This woman has always shown her spirit through fashion, and today she's in ill-fitted khakis and a cotton tee. Who is this pod person? I want my Beach Slut back!
CJ tries to pretend the sight of Scar is making his ball tighten, but I think he's just flattered that her yellow tee matches his LIVESTRONG bracelet. Finally, someone's acknowledging his pain! He's had testicular cancer, you know. What's this? A breakfast challenge in the hotel room? In their pjs? Sara M is tickled, which cracks me up.
The twist is, they have to somehow use a BREVILLE Blender, which Scar assures them can be used to prepare practically anything! What innovation! What design! Why chew an omelette when you can swallow it whole? Hung has plenty of space for this challenge, so the second Scar fires her tiny pistol, he's off and running around like his ass is on fire. He knocks food on the floor along with a bottle of truffle oil, which he denies doing and then says that he doesn't care if someone falls because he's only focused on himself. There's our nasty little girl! Where you been, chica? He's not really a breakfast person, so he's gonna make sunny side up eggs and some seared steak with a fruit and gran marnier smoothie. Fruit, booze, steak and eggs? How fitting. Just call it "The Runs" and be done.
Baldhawk's not skerd of this challenge, because to men all over Chicago, he's known as the guy who makes you breakfast in the morning. Of course, what he makes usually takes four hours to prepare... I'm so sure, fancy pants. If he ever spent four hours in my kitchen after a lay I'd feel really sorry for him. Guys who wear t-shirts that say "SLEAZY" are usually just looking for hug, and I'm not biting. Make me an omelette and get the f out of my apartment.
Sara M figures since Scar's the only judge for this challenge, she'll just pour her a tall martini and pack her a bowl. I smell a winner! Just so it doesn't seem like she's accusing the esteemed Lakshmi of anything, she makes some French Toast, too. Bunny Foo Foo has followed suit with the French toast, because her grandma was French. What, no French Fries? How bout a French Dip? She also prepares a fresh salsa (was your other Grandma mexican?), and takes time to stump for the Breville Blender. Making salsa was a snap! All she had to do was throw some veggies in the thing and press blend! Who knew? Wait till she hears about toasters.
Bunny Foo Foo trusts BREVILLE
Troll Patch tells us that he's got his A game workin' today. There aren't as many hacks left in the game to bone it harder than him this time, so he's gonna really stretch and do something with seafood. Ugh. Get rid of this douche already.
CJ's blueberry, marscapone and date shake with a strawberry crepe seems to go over well, and he's not surprised. Chicks love crepes! If there was another Spice Girl, he tells us, it would be Crepe Spice. Oy. Member when the editors only focused on CJ when they had to cuz they were too lazy to aim a camera into the sky? He was really awesome back then.
Scar seems to also approve of the girls' battling French toast dishes, but when Dung's steak and eggs dish comes up, the goofy Howie puttering in the kitchen and sweating on his food music starts to play. Uh-oh. She isn't a fan of steak and eggs, so he moves on to plan B. The papaya, gran marnier, gran marnier, and gran marnier shake. Damn, Padma, slow down!! She tells him she really liked the shake. Then she she falls over.
Alright, who's gonna hold her hair back during commercial?
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Comments (20)
"Make me an omelette and get the f out of my apartment."
Truer words have never been spoken. I swear, every week I get a new lesson in life from you my friend.
Whee! Last week Howie, this week CJ! It's like the TC producers got a hold of my producers-who-I'd-most-like-to-see-get-the-boot list and are complying. I know CJ was a fan fav with some but he got on my nerves from the get-go with his smug attitude. Granted TC is going to be even more boring now but I'll find a way to deal.
I love how Hung's prize was Padma's book and the "opportunity to collaborate" on more recipes with her. She practically had to force him to take the book from her. I think given the chance Hung would have given the prize a pass. And that's why I root for Hung, despite the certifiable a-hole behavior.
1 of 20 | Posted by greeneyes | Posted on September 16, 2007 10:56 AM
"Make me an omelette and get the f out of my apartment."
Truer words have never been spoken. I swear, every week I get a new lesson in life from you my friend.
Whee! Last week Howie, this week CJ! It's like the TC producers got a hold of my producers-who-I'd-most-like-to-see-get-the-boot list and are complying. I know CJ was a fan fav with some but he got on my nerves from the get-go with his smug attitude. Granted TC is going to be even more boring now but I'll find a way to deal.
I love how Hung's prize was Padma's book and the "opportunity to collaborate" on more recipes with her. She practically had to force him to take the book from her. I think given the chance Hung would have given the prize a pass. And that's why I root for Hung, despite the certifiable a-hole behavior.
2 of 20 | Posted by greeneyes | Posted on September 16, 2007 10:58 AM
"Make me an omelette and get the f out of my apartment."
Truer words have never been spoken. I swear, every week I get a new lesson in life from you my friend.
Whee! Last week Howie, this week CJ! It's like the TC producers got a hold of my producers-who-I'd-most-like-to-see-get-the-boot list and are complying. I know CJ was a fan fav with some but he got on my nerves from the get-go with his smug attitude. Granted TC is going to be even more boring now but I'll find a way to deal.
I love how Hung's prize was Padma's book and the "opportunity to collaborate" on more recipes with her. She practically had to force him to take the book from her. I think given the chance Hung would have given the prize a pass. And that's why I root for Hung, despite the certifiable a-hole behavior.
3 of 20 | Posted by greeneyes | Posted on September 16, 2007 11:00 AM
"Make me an omelette and get the f out of my apartment."
Truer words have never been spoken. I swear, every week I get a new lesson in life from you my friend.
Whee! Last week Howie, this week CJ! It's like the TC producers got a hold of my producers-who-I'd-most-like-to-see-get-the-boot list and are complying. I know CJ was a fan fav with some but he got on my nerves from the get-go with his smug attitude. Granted TC is going to be even more boring now but I'll find a way to deal.
I love how Hung's prize was Padma's book and the "opportunity to collaborate" on more recipes with her. She practically had to force him to take the book from her. I think given the chance Hung would have given the prize a pass. And that's why I root for Hung, despite the certifiable a-hole behavior.
4 of 20 | Posted by greeneyes | Posted on September 16, 2007 11:02 AM
The quickfire prize this week has to be the worst ever. Padma's book is only useful if you have uneven table legs or need to learn how to roll the perfect joint.
Bourdain is the best judge ever. He is the king of the awesome put-down.
I can't get in Foo's corner. Seriously, 1994 called and it wants "The Rachel" haircut back.
GO HUNG!!!!!!!!
5 of 20 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on September 16, 2007 11:09 AM
OMG- I laughed so hard at this recap. Brilliant! Foo'll be there for you.. HA!
Gotta say, I'm team Hung since Tre is gone. And ever since I started reading these recaps, I laugh everytime he bows. Tranny Dung.. . Love. Him.
Keep it up Flipit
www.CarriesShoeReview.com
6 of 20 | Posted by carrie | Posted on September 16, 2007 4:54 PM
Hey bud, I am so glad BB is slowing down ....
I can actually read you again and respond properly.
You rock Flipit and thanks for sticking with the shows that made me love you.
That being said I am ready for this season to be over,no Mike making penis appitizers, no Betty flipping out, no Marcel, no late night drunkin' rape 'shaving' matches. I don't have hate for any of these cooks like I did and do for Ilan... shut up already Ilan.
So since tre is gone I am actually pulling for Hung even though I think he may be one of the next one or two to go. If foo foo gets to te end... it will bore me to tears.....
xoxox
7 of 20 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on September 16, 2007 10:00 PM
Hey bud, I am so glad BB is slowing down ....
I can actually read you again and respond properly.
You rock Flipit and thanks for sticking with the shows that made me love you.
That being said I am ready for this season to be over,no Mike making penis appitizers, no Betty flipping out, no Marcel, no late night drunkin' rape 'shaving' matches. I don't have hate for any of these cooks like I did and do for Ilan... shut up already Ilan.
So since tre is gone I am actually pulling for Hung even though I think he may be one of the next one or two to go. If foo foo gets to te end... it will bore me to tears.....
xoxox
8 of 20 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on September 16, 2007 10:01 PM
I cry foul as I am sure greeneyes does.. this new system doesn't post in a friendly way.. or in a way that you can tell you are not posting two , or four times!
9 of 20 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on September 16, 2007 10:05 PM
I was bummed to see CJ go. No way was his dish worse than Malarkey's! And Daddy Tom was exaggerating a tad when he called the broccolini the worst dish in 3 years.
Ah well. Go Baldhawk!
10 of 20 | Posted by ChicagoGal | Posted on September 17, 2007 9:28 AM
%$#!!!
Sorry about the multiple postings you guys. It was no way intentional. I didn't think the posts took and then it posts 3 mothereffin' times! I hate Typepad about as much as it hates me.
11 of 20 | Posted by greeneyes | Posted on September 17, 2007 10:22 AM
That overcooked broccolini was the worst food in the history of Top Chef? I think not. What about that weird coffee ground mess Marcel made?
I heart Hung, but that guy is a real slob in the kitchen. Do you have any idea how expensive white truffle oil is? That slender bottle he smashed probably cost, minimum, $30. He also let some tomatoes fall out of the fridge. I know they're in a hurry, but doesn't anybody get the mess out of everyone else's way? Ugh.
I really don't think Jennifer FooFoo should have won for a dish that would make the entire cabin a fetid fart festival (from which there was no escape).
Reluctantly, still Team Hung.
12 of 20 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on September 17, 2007 12:03 PM
Okay . . . I think I got that all filled out . . . phwew, I'll be extra careful not to hit post more than once too . . .
Okay, Flipit, I love love love you, I was howling on this one (thankfully alone in my office today!) I don't know what I did with myself before I stumbled upon this site, and your complete awesomeness!!!! I'll give it to Disdain for the doll head comment . . . that was vivid!
I'm not rooting for anyone, but I guess Troll patch best be leaving soon!!! Baby Alive needs her head so she can eat and drink!!!!
13 of 20 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 17, 2007 12:53 PM
hey!
14 of 20 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 17, 2007 1:36 PM
seems to be working today . . . still never know!!! Thanks Flip, I've been howling away on this one!!!! You're the bestest evah!!!! Fah Reals!!! What are you capping next . . . America's Next Top Model . . . Project Runway? Oh how I hope . . . Anyway LOVE as always . . . and to Disdain, loved the baby head analogy, but lets hope SoulPatch leaves soon, coz Baby Alive needs her head so she can drink and eat!!!
15 of 20 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 17, 2007 1:47 PM
Ugh! It sure does let them slip by--guess it pays to wait, so sorry for attempting to repeat myself . . . sigh . . . good to be back though!!!
16 of 20 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on September 17, 2007 1:55 PM
Oh, beloved Flipit -- why oh why am I not allowed to put URLs in comments any more?? What fresh hell is this?
You don't underrstaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand....It's so fruuuuuuuuuustratiiiiiiing. I really had the best URL EVER.
17 of 20 | Posted by Lime23 | Posted on September 17, 2007 5:42 PM
hey guys!! it's like a blast from the past in here! good to see you all back in the comments section. lime, i don't know why you can't post urls!! that's crazy!! where was it to?
"Padma's book is only useful if you have uneven table legs or need to learn how to roll the perfect joint." HAHAHAHAAAAAAAA
and judd i think i'm doing that dumb model show and project runway. thanks for reading you guys! LOVE
18 of 20 | Posted by flipit | Posted on September 17, 2007 6:07 PM
Hey Flipit, I always find your recaps so entertaining and you crap me up. But I was a little disappointed that you didn't mention how bombed out and glassy-eyed Padma looked at the Quickfire Challenge. Nothing like a little "wake and bake" to get a girl primed for a food judging competition.
19 of 20 | Posted by SnackyCakes420 | Posted on September 17, 2007 6:49 PM
Aaaah, flip, when you laugh at my comments it makes me feel so wonderfully adequate.
20 of 20 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on September 18, 2007 3:08 PM