I knew this episode was going to change everything around on us when the tradition of Marcel being an a-hole to a sleeping fat guy first thing in the morning was broken. This time, he slept in on the couch and got ragged on for a change. Ilan, who's all buddy buddy with Mike after last week's win (don't get too close) took one of Marcel's business cards out of his wallet. On the back was a handwritten pledge: Marcel Vigneron, the next Top Chef!! I never would have taken Marcel for the creative visualization type, and I feel strings of empathy being picked at in my cold cold heart. Yes, Marcel is a goofy monkey bitch, but to see 95 percent of the remaining Chefs pick on him makes me feel...pity. There, I said it! It's a flaw of mine. I just downloaded K-Fed's album on iTunes, so what does that tell ya, haters?

Elia doesn't get why the other Chefs hate Marcel so much, and he is equally as mystified. He assumes everyone just gathered around a dart board and randomly assigned him to heap their aggression upon. Does he really not understand criticizing and demeaning everyone around him isn't nice? Then he giggles dementedly and I hate him again. Just like that. I opened iTunes and deleted the K-Fed file. This show is costing me money.

aw, sweet little monkey!!!!

As a little Thanksgiving present, Daddy Tom will be judging today's Quickfire Challenge. No one seems too pleased with this, as Daddy Tom has never added sugar to one word out of his mouth. And to make it worse, he doesn't take the drama queen or attention whore route and make a big scene, so you can't easily discount his opinion as psychotic reality show neediness. He's a blunt, built, instrument of Truth. I hope I never meet him, but today, dear Lord, I pray and give thanks for his presence on Top Chef. Amen.

Carlos says he has always had better luck with the guest judges. Everyone has better luck with the guest judges, you whiner. Suck it up.

This challenge revolves around making delicious Thanksgiving treats out of three cans of food in less than fifteen minutes. Since Mia was a homeless teenager, she knows how to work with canned goods (and half wrapped burritos from dumpsters and chewed gum from under tables, but she can't use those. There are so many limits on this challenge!) When she finds out the cans aren't open or half eaten, she realizes she might not have as much as an advantage as she thinks. She's not wearing those gd ribbons and she mentions that she was homeless as a kid like six times this episode. Is Mia trying to make us like her? What the hell is going on today?

I am surprised and impressed what these Chefs can pull out in fifteen minutes. Cliff stayed at the top of his game with his gorgeous new potatoes with mushrooms, anchovies, and orange vinegarette. Daddy Tom didn't comment on Betty's lemon hummus or Mike's mashed potatoes, but he did enjoy Ilan's Vienna sausages over spinach and new potatoes. Marcel had a look of shock on his face when Tom didn't like his lukewarm clam and coconut dish. What shocked you dude? You've never won a challenge! And don't EVEN bring up fat camp. We promised to never discuss it again!