Just when my friends have me believing I'm good enough, smart enough, and that people like me, I'm forced to share a meal with relatives I spend all the other days of the year avoiding. The last Thursday in November is my family's annual chance to snark at my weight gain, hair loss, and general gayness. Ah, Thanksgiving. Nothing brings out the ugly out in people faster than forced "together time". I'm tempted to flake altogether this year, but a little friend named Bravo gave me some advice.
Dear Lord, thank you for this week's episode of Top Chef, which taught me that most people's best sides don't come out during the holidays, but your best bet is to make some effort and not be a big fat baby cryie pants.
I knew this episode was going to change everything around on us when the tradition of Marcel being an a-hole to a sleeping fat guy first thing in the morning was broken. This time, he slept in on the couch and got ragged on for a change. Ilan, who's all buddy buddy with Mike after last week's win (don't get too close) took one of Marcel's business cards out of his wallet. On the back was a handwritten pledge: Marcel Vigneron, the next Top Chef!! I never would have taken Marcel for the creative visualization type, and I feel strings of empathy being picked at in my cold cold heart. Yes, Marcel is a goofy monkey bitch, but to see 95 percent of the remaining Chefs pick on him makes me feel...pity. There, I said it! It's a flaw of mine. I just downloaded K-Fed's album on iTunes, so what does that tell ya, haters?
Elia doesn't get why the other Chefs hate Marcel so much, and he is equally as mystified. He assumes everyone just gathered around a dart board and randomly assigned him to heap their aggression upon. Does he really not understand criticizing and demeaning everyone around him isn't nice? Then he giggles dementedly and I hate him again. Just like that. I opened iTunes and deleted the K-Fed file. This show is costing me money.
aw, sweet little monkey!!!!
As a little Thanksgiving present, Daddy Tom will be judging today's Quickfire Challenge. No one seems too pleased with this, as Daddy Tom has never added sugar to one word out of his mouth. And to make it worse, he doesn't take the drama queen or attention whore route and make a big scene, so you can't easily discount his opinion as psychotic reality show neediness. He's a blunt, built, instrument of Truth. I hope I never meet him, but today, dear Lord, I pray and give thanks for his presence on Top Chef. Amen.
Carlos says he has always had better luck with the guest judges. Everyone has better luck with the guest judges, you whiner. Suck it up.
This challenge revolves around making delicious Thanksgiving treats out of three cans of food in less than fifteen minutes. Since Mia was a homeless teenager, she knows how to work with canned goods (and half wrapped burritos from dumpsters and chewed gum from under tables, but she can't use those. There are so many limits on this challenge!) When she finds out the cans aren't open or half eaten, she realizes she might not have as much as an advantage as she thinks. She's not wearing those gd ribbons and she mentions that she was homeless as a kid like six times this episode. Is Mia trying to make us like her? What the hell is going on today?
I am surprised and impressed what these Chefs can pull out in fifteen minutes. Cliff stayed at the top of his game with his gorgeous new potatoes with mushrooms, anchovies, and orange vinegarette. Daddy Tom didn't comment on Betty's lemon hummus or Mike's mashed potatoes, but he did enjoy Ilan's Vienna sausages over spinach and new potatoes. Marcel had a look of shock on his face when Tom didn't like his lukewarm clam and coconut dish. What shocked you dude? You've never won a challenge! And don't EVEN bring up fat camp. We promised to never discuss it again!
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Comments (23)
I am thankful for you Flipit! Getting this recap out this weekend is Da Bomb!
Mia has a chance a being a speed bump one more week because Frank is going to get bounced for jerking his little Monkey to hard......
Michael deserves a few more weeks after being called Fred Flintstone, even though it fits,...they must have a non contender in the top three .. right?
Elia has come to America and found an apartment full of ugly Americans..... do you know how long that would take in France..Spain... Mexico???
(could a bio clears this issue up?)
And finally ..Betty... she had me reeled in those first few shows... hook in my mouth and all, Lordy. she is a total bitch.....can you imagine working for her?! I felt so much righteous anger for Marcel and Elia.... Betty made crap in a cup and blamed them..... wait until she needs help again, burn baby burn.
Loved it, great recap.... Adios Carlos, you will not be missed.
1 of 23 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on November 26, 2006 11:25 PM
I am thankful for you Flipit! Getting this recap out this weekend is Da Bomb!
Mia has a chance a being a speed bump one more week because Frank is going to get bounced for jerking his little Monkey to hard......
Michael deserves a few more weeks after being called Fred Flintstone, even though it fits,...they must have a non contender in the top three .. right?
Elia has come to America and found an apartment full of ugly Americans..... do you know how long that would take in France..Spain... Mexico???
(could a bio clears this issue up?)
And finally ..Betty... she had me reeled in those first few shows... hook in my mouth and all, Lordy. she is a total bitch.....can you imagine working for her?! I felt so much righteous anger for Marcel and Elia.... Betty made crap in a cup and blamed them..... wait until she needs help again, burn baby burn.
Loved it, great recap.... Adios Carlos, you will not be missed.
2 of 23 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on November 26, 2006 11:27 PM
I'm kicking myself that I missed this episode! Watching Betty implode would be worth a Tivo. And what is up with Marcel's clam and coconut love affair?
3 of 23 | Posted by Laska
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Posted on November 27, 2006 5:47 AM
I'm starting to really empathize with Marcel. He's tiny and very insecure, and he's overcompensating with overt cockiness. Give him a few years and he'll get over himself.
Cliff will probably win the whole shebang, but Elia is fun to watch!
4 of 23 | Posted by Strock9
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Posted on November 27, 2006 6:36 AM
Flipit, I nearly bathed my monitor in hot chocolate when I saw that pic of Bourdain next to House.
Marcel is an ass with meringue-like hair, but Betty had no room to blame HIM for her lame-ass pumpkin disasters. Even a perfectly crisp sugar shell wouldn't hide the crap underneath.
My vote for the top three would be Elia, Cliff and Sam.
5 of 23 | Posted by MissKatrina
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Posted on November 27, 2006 7:26 AM
Ugly Betty has emerged and I am, for one, along for the ride!
6 of 23 | Posted by slutty_whore
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Posted on November 27, 2006 7:34 AM
Fierce Recap Flipit! After last weeks recap posting drama, I am glad to see that you made it back.
Alas, I used to love Ugly Betty but now she is annoying. I have huge crush on Sam and I am hoping that he or Cliff will win!
7 of 23 | Posted by HokieJM
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Posted on November 27, 2006 8:46 AM
Flipit, at first I had my doubts, but you've done my beloved Top Chef proud. Great recap! I laughed out loud the whole way through!
8 of 23 | Posted by jfn
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Posted on November 27, 2006 9:30 AM
I am totally thankful that Tony Bourdain was the judge this week! What a great, sarcastic wit!! I would personally love to nominate him for a permanent position as judge on the show!
9 of 23 | Posted by Lynn DeVries
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Posted on November 27, 2006 10:01 AM
Dear Lord,
Thank you for such a funny and wonderful show. And thank you for Flipit's great recaps.
Amen
10 of 23 | Posted by pjtvqueen
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Posted on November 27, 2006 10:09 AM
"Ugly Betty has emerged and I am, for one, along for the ride!"
Ugly Betty!!! I lOVE YOU GUYS.
heart
11 of 23 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on November 27, 2006 6:12 PM
question.
this is one of those shows i just never bothered to watch and feel like I have missed the boat (ANTM being another). Is this a show I can just set my DVR and start watching, or should I just give up and wait for a new season or marathon?
MYL
12 of 23 | Posted by Madeyoulaugh
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Posted on November 27, 2006 6:48 PM
Nah MYL it's a Project Runway rip-off, so you can watch it episode by episode.
Also, it's on Bravo, which feels the need to play it 10 times a day. there are 3 eps on tonight if you wanna catch up!
13 of 23 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on November 27, 2006 7:51 PM
flipit, you're great! it seems odd that bourdain even agreed to do this, what with his whole dislike for the celebrity chef biz. and he's into guts and tongues and stuff - a thanksgiving meal couldn't be a worse fit. although, I guess they could have served him giblets? anyway, myl I concur with the above - they replay them so often you can put together a little catch-up marathon...it's actually more fun that way.
14 of 23 | Posted by tvtvtv
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Posted on November 27, 2006 10:04 PM
15 of 23 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on November 28, 2006 3:58 AM
this is by far my favorite show on tv. betty is and has always been a fake bitch and her "troll" smile is incredibly obnoxious. i just couldn't stand her after she won the Comfort Food Challenge...all bitch does is "comfort food!" I still think Sam should have won, but I guess Ruby Tuesday has a rule stating that food must be at least 2000 calories to be served on the menu because his healthy fruit salad totally should have won.
*top 3 will be ilan (because his food is always good in every challenge), sam (because his food is innovative, has a nice combination of flavors, and is healthy), and cliff (because he wins everything).
16 of 23 | Posted by belram
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Posted on November 28, 2006 12:11 PM
flipit, you're GOOD at this, i enjoyed your recap. & also thank you for calling out Sam's little girl comb headband, i kept puzzling about how he kept his hair back like that.
agree with ^^^^poster and choices for Top 3---altho I wouldn't mind if Elia was in there, instead of one of those named, I like her. But she might still be too young, has lots to learn.
I LIKED Betty in the 1st few episodes but now I see what everyone else must've seen all along---what a FAKE FAKE FAKE bitch she is. flipit, to borrow your word: CRAAAAAACK.
17 of 23 | Posted by Tati
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Posted on November 28, 2006 12:24 PM
18 of 23 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on November 28, 2006 2:49 PM
I am thankful for TVGASM and their decision to let FLIPIT recap my new favorite show . . . I HATE UGLY BETTY!!!! I've never seen someone fake a smile quite like her. Frank needs to shut the fuck up, and Elia is the SHIT!!! I'm rooting for Ilan but I think it would be fantasitc if Marcel won.
19 of 23 | Posted by LRSrusty
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Posted on November 28, 2006 3:53 PM
One thing that bothered me about this episode: when you take the least creative people of the group and demand that they be innovative, how can Tom et al be surprised that they were served crap?
20 of 23 | Posted by slutty_whore
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Posted on November 28, 2006 10:37 PM
is marcel a dick and i'm just missing it?everyone else seems to be aggressive and jerky and he's just sort of a supreme food geek.
21 of 23 | Posted by geri jewell
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Posted on November 29, 2006 1:40 AM
Okay, I must admit here, I am beginning to favor Marcel. There I've said it... but come on, who wouldn't want to push Betty to her breakdown? He might have seen through her fakiness way before us and played her like an ugly stepsister. I am not saying he is a better cook, chef, person, than the 'big' guys, Cliff IIIIlan, or Sam but he is serving a purpose on the show.......Frank is in the center of his target now.... can't wait but today is just a yucky mid season recap show... no fun in that!!!
22 of 23 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on November 29, 2006 8:21 AM
Ruby Tuesday? I thought it was TGIFridays. I can't imagine RT demeaning themselves in such a manner.
^^^
oops, my mistake...though, i kind of think ruby tuesday and friday's are synonymous
23 of 23 | Posted by belram
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Posted on November 30, 2006 11:18 AM