Recap: Top Chef: True Colors Shiner Through - 
by Flipit
Every time my Aunt Kayla and Uncle Bruce show up to a family get-together, they're fighting. It gets pretty nasty, but the barbs they trade are so hilarious, we just all roll our eyes and figure there's someone for everyone. Well, on Valentine's day two years ago, Uncle Bruce got home an hour late from work, and Aunt Kayla was waiting for him with a bottle of Dom Perignon. Held over her head. As he walked through the door, she called him a cheating sumbitch and crashed the bottle down on him. Hard.
They often laugh about that night, but Uncle Bruce can still only move half his face and no one invites them over anymore because it's just awkward. Everyone can get behind name calling and public bickering as long as it amuses, but there are some lines you just don't cross.
This week, Top Chef taught us karma's a bitch, if you have an unflattering head don't shave it, and sometimes its better to let sleeping monkeys lie.
This is the last episode before the two-part finale, and the five remaining Chefs are feeling the pressure. Sam says he really wants to go to Hawaii, and he doesn't need to step on anyone to get there. Instead, he'll goad and prod everyone else into stepping on themselves and then each other.
Elia doesn't need yoga to center herself this morning, because she has a new gay roomie/bff to giggle and wear sunglasses indoors with. Ilan has moved in with her because she was feeling lonely without Mia and Betty. He asked for spare change and talked to her like she was five until she felt better, then they linked pinkies and played with each other's hair.
"I love your sunglasses!" "No, yoooouuuu!!!"
Odd pair for me, because these days I am lovin' me some Elia and hatin' me some Ilan. But I will suspend my inner biatch and hope Ilan has matured and grown after making a complete ass of himself two episodes in a row. My hopes crash and burn when he shuffles out of the bedroom talking like a five year old. Maybe he sensed he had become unlikeable and tried to give us a sweeter taste of himself, but the results of his little personality makeover are so irritating I had to post a clip.
Baby Aiken-John
Today's Guest Judge is Chef Eric Ripert of Le Bernardin in New York City. Cliff wets himself over this "demi-god", and when Chef Ripert lets out his thick French accent, I am equally intimidated. I defer to anyone with a strong French accent, as I've never met a French person that wasn't smarter than me and better than me in every way. Ripert is a flirty one, but I can't figure out who he's giving these looks to.
Hungry Eyes
Today's Quickfire will revolve around making a savory or a sweet dish featuring this week's sponsor, the NESTLE CHOCOLATIER BAR!! As Padma takes off her shirt and whips her hair around, she explains to us that eating is a very sensual experience, and part of this challenge is to make food that not only tastes good but is extremely sexy. You know, like the NESTLE CHOCOLATIER BAR! Mmmm, Nestle, you've done it again. I am soooo hot right now.
And...I'm back. Most of the Chefs did pretty well with this challenge. Guest Judge Ripert was impressed with the earthiness of Marcel's potato cannellonis with coffee whipped cream and chocolate mousse. He is surprised that the potato went so well with chocolate. Silly Frenchie, you've obviously never dipped a Freedom Fry in your Frosty. On a side note: I am impressed that Marcel was able to give up his security blankey (Monkey Spit Foam), but like most addicts, he has replaced one obsession with another. Enter The Tear of a Clown. Every dish from now on will have this single drip down it's face to remind us that monkeys have feelings too. Hear me, HATERS?
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