WOOOAAAAHHHHHHH. Have to say. Wasn't expecting this. What is this now? Two resignations and one premature ouster? Damn. If I was on this show I wouldn't even bother to cook anything. Chances are someone will quit or get fired before anyone realizes I suck. Cliff looks at Daddy Tom like he's gonna argue, but he (finally) takes the higher path and shuts up instead of pulling out another headlock. Poor big, strong Cliff. You made your bed, now burn in it.
Did Farrah Fawcett teach you nothing?
As Daddy Tom addresses the rest of the Chefs, Elia makes a remorseful moustache face and Ilan imagines he has the cheekbones and chin dimple to make his shaved head work.
No one here is innocent. Sam egged the situation on, Ilan cheered and filmed it, and Elia giggled and did (crumpling on the floor in remorse after the deed is done doesn't count) NOTHING. I have pretty much lost my respect for all of them at this point. Well, I guess I never had "respect" for them, but at least they were good for a couple of giggles. Now, they have reduced themselves into sad, dirty children I can't love. Bump this ballad shit.
The Judges are with me. When Daddy Tom relays to them what happened, they don't shed any tears for Cliff. He's talented, but his top sirloin was the least favorite dish and he most likely would have been sent packing anyway. I would have liked to see Cliff chopped for sucky food instead of for going all Ike Turner on the monkey, but I'll take what I can get. As for the rest of them, we're pretty much stuck. Note to BRAVO: You take pride in serving up reality shows that focus on talent and skill. Please go back to that. I am already shallow and childish. You're just making it worse.
When the Judges bring the Chefs in for answers, Ilan tries the binge-drinking defense, forcing Padma to remind them all that she was drunk when she married a ninety year old, but she still has to make out with him. Ilan concedes. Marcel gloats like he won a stuffed animal at a county fair as he listens to the Abusers get schooled. Sam nods along like he completely agrees with the Judges' disapproval even though he pretty much instigated all of this, and Elia lets her Spockian ears do all the apologizing for her. Eventually the food has to be addressed. Padma says that even though they are a bunch of idiots, the meal overall was the best they'd prepared the entire competition. Gail agrees. She doesn't go on a rampage about one thing. After all, she works for Food and Wine, and both of those areas were explored and exploited beautifully in this challenge. Guest Judge Ripert mentioned the lacking acidity in Marcel's salmon, but instead of claiming the wine as his citrus supplement, Marcel says he nixed a lemon squirt last second, and that could have been a bad choice. Padma brings up Daddy Tom's problem with the missing chocolate hearts, but Elia criticizes herself incessantly before the Judges get the chance to. If she had just done it all differently! STUPID! Ripert loved it and Daddy Tom says he expected more in five hours, but the flavors were there.
When the Judges are alone, Gail says that if Cliff was there, he probably would have been sent home, so the question is do the remaining Chefs all deserve to stay? The answers are mixed. Sam's scallop and Ilan's fideos were the favorites all around, but even though Gail found Marcel's salmon "edible" (I wish the salmon was a movie, so that could be quoted on the poster), everyone else thought it was boring. There isn't much love for Elia's "Kiss" either. Judge Ripert says "for me I didn't like it so much." Hello? You just praised it a second ago. I think they are taking too long to film these segments. The Judges can't remember what they liked and what they didn't. Daddy Tom suggests Marcel and Elia both be sent home, but Padma sticks up for the monkey, saying she is curious to see what he will do if given the chance. Spit foam tears? You know it's coming, people.
Tom rags on Elia for doing dessert. What would inspire her to do a fluff piece at this point in the game?
Wadn't me.
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Comments (22)
PSx2: I know Ilan says he isn't gay, but until I see proof, I will stick with my instinct.
Heart
1 of 22 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on January 21, 2007 2:22 PM
flipit, I think Ilan would look great with a beard...wait, he already has one - Carolina.
None of the final 4 deserve to win.
oh and I would be honored to be one of your 'fag hags' Flipit.
hb
2 of 22 | Posted by HoneyBunny
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Posted on January 21, 2007 2:57 PM
I didn't get a chance to see this episode, but i just knew that someone shaved their head but couldnt figure out why someone would be asked to pack their knives because of a shaved head.
Needless to say, I am not sorry to see the Genie go. He's an asshole and should have left after he, to use the totally overused and stupid phrase they so enjoy on this show, threw Mia under the bus a few episodes ago.
I think Elia looks cute with a shaved head...kind of like an alien mixed with a baby.
3 of 22 | Posted by PixieGal
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Posted on January 21, 2007 3:45 PM
There is no excuse for what happened to Marcel. Alcohol is usually pointed to as the culprit but I am so over that excuse, these guys have been drunk before. Hell Micheal cooked half bashed it seemed to me.
Ilan running his mouth now reminds me to have my Uncle Joey in NYC to put a fist in it. Ilan-you make me sick,remember that, just sick to my tummy...where is my Pepto Bismol? And shut up Ilan.... don't give interviews because I hate you.
Elia getting off easy... and Sam.... seems to me Cliff took the hit for them all and Chef Tom is right....THEY ALL SHOULD HAVE BEEN AFTED AND MARCEL SHOULD WHERE THE CHEFS HAT.
Someone stated in the newsgasm area that the last guest judge gave away a bit of the ending by stating one of the chefs was still cooking in their old restaurant... seems to me they would hold the money until after the last show is televised.... otherwise, you know, one of them would be driving around in the new Kenmore Kitchen they won!
Thank you Flipit... great review and I will miss your reviews when this season ends..... could you move to the designer show maybe???
4 of 22 | Posted by GIFFORDSAZ
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Posted on January 21, 2007 3:57 PM
I am sure by now you all know that the events in this episode did not occur at they were presented. Apparently Marcel was roughed up before the others shaved their heads, as a means to try to cover up what they did to him. I heard that Bravo's doing the same on their forum boards but I don't intend to give them the extra traffic. What went down was despicible and none of the cheftestants deserve to be on this show (I don't think Marcel is all that great a chef and him wining the title will always be under the cloud of a "pity victory").
5 of 22 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on January 22, 2007 4:21 AM
I liked Elia's long hair, but the girl can pull off the bald look, too. I was dying to see Sam rockin' the shaved head so I was pretty disappointed when he pussed out.
I guess letting Cliff go was the right thing to do, although I was really disappointed. I don't think he'd have been cut because he had really strong performances in the past. I really do think it's unfair, though, that everyone else got off scott free. When there's mob mentality the whole mob should be punished.
I think it's crazy how people go on reality shows to get better jobs... and then act completely unprofessional. If a "demi-god" who could potentially give you a job one day is on the show, maybe you shouldn't act like an immature asshole.
6 of 22 | Posted by IHeartTV
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Posted on January 22, 2007 4:46 AM
This incident really ruined the rest of the show for me - I've lost all respect for the instigators (yes, ALL of them) and I'm not a Marcel fan, so I don't want him to win either.
I'm done for the season.
And YES, PLEASE - if Bravo execs read these boards, please get the message and bring QUALITY back to Top Chef & Project Runway. We're sick of the fake drama crap.
7 of 22 | Posted by HoosierKatie
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Posted on January 22, 2007 6:08 AM
I can't believe Elia was such a Benedict Arnold! Y'all know Marcel annoys the crap outta me, but I thought Elia was the bigger person for putting up with him.
Also, about Cliff... aggression is not the tactic to use on someone like Marcel, because he's not aggressive! He's just irksome and not good at dealing with people, and shaving off his meringue hairdo certainly wouldn't give him better interpersonal skills!
I get that they're all stressed and don't have their families/friends to help them through it, but it sucks that tormenting Monkey Boy became the stress-reliever of choice.
8 of 22 | Posted by MissKatrina
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Posted on January 22, 2007 8:37 AM
I'm going to miss your reviews when the season is over, Flipit.
I can't believe how lame this cast is oompared to last year's - I did read Leann's blog at Bravo.com -she said that the chefs had three months in between the last episode and Hawaii, and that we will see a more focused and mature group when they return and have had time to reflect. Hmmmm...
9 of 22 | Posted by Cherelle64
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Posted on January 22, 2007 8:48 AM
Ditto. I hear there won't be a reunion show for this season, which is hardly surprising.
10 of 22 | Posted by Ubiquitous
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Posted on January 22, 2007 9:51 AM
I second the nomination for you to do the Top Design recaps, Flipit!
Do you think they didn't do a reunion because of what happened with Cliff?
11 of 22 | Posted by Woogie101
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Posted on January 22, 2007 10:42 AM
Gawd. Enough of these strolls through memory lane at the start of every recap. They're self-indulgent and barely germane, two sins I could forgive if there were remotely entertaining.
12 of 22 | Posted by Jennifer30309
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Posted on January 22, 2007 10:45 AM
I have to say, I found Marcel to be far more forgiving and gracious than I ever would have been, had I been roused from sleep to find myself wrestled to the ground by a man twice my size. He may be annoying as hell, but The Monkey doesn't seem to hold much of a grudge.
13 of 22 | Posted by teamLC
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Posted on January 22, 2007 11:18 AM
Thanks guys!
I am really sad there won't be a reunion show, as I was looking forward to finding out how many jobs Mia has gone through since shooting wrapped. I am depressed now. I will write a six page personal essay about my disappointment and post it next weeks blog.
teamLC - you need to elaborate
And thanks for the Top Design votes of confidence. I will be writing the blogs for that show when it starts in two weeks, and can't wait to rag on those guys with y'all.
Heart
14 of 22 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on January 22, 2007 11:40 AM
I also wanted to thank Flipit for the review. You totally encapsulated my views of this show. I have to say that I had not been impressed with the skill level of the chefs all season, but their petulant attitude has been even worse. On a totally different note, while I liked Chef Riper did anyone else think he looked like a Muppet?
15 of 22 | Posted by Fitz
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Posted on January 22, 2007 11:41 AM
^^^ Fitz! you're right, he does look like that Muppet w/ the bushy eyebrows! something about him also reminds me of an eagle (je ne sais pourqoi?)
Flipit, i would look forward to a 6 page essay, you could write about the finer points of molecular gastronomy for all i care, as long as it's YOU writing!! I am so happy to learn you are doing Top Design or whatever it's called, I will be tuning it. yay!
16 of 22 | Posted by Tati
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Posted on January 22, 2007 2:45 PM
I like your "stolls through memory lane", they are funny and entertaining to me! Very good recap, I don't watch the show until reruns on the weekend, so this lets me know what happened. :)
17 of 22 | Posted by amy303_1/2
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Posted on January 22, 2007 2:54 PM
what happened with the head shaving was about as dark and creapy as you can get on a tvshow. even worse when you guys revealed a cover up..this is scary shit. about as close to a rape i ever want to witness..with a guy subduing another drowsy man half his size with a FULL NELSON.
As for daddy Tom..maybe he didn't feel the romance becasue he didn't have a date to be romantic with as the guest real people did. Shut up and eat your free food, Tom.
18 of 22 | Posted by dredge
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Posted on January 22, 2007 8:16 PM
hey dredge I agree with you.These people make me sick now and I can't believe how Marcel is taking it!Odd.I'm done with this show.
19 of 22 | Posted by gotigersgo
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Posted on January 24, 2007 11:05 AM
I believe the more appropriate term for fag hag is fruit fly.
20 of 22 | Posted by lesfull
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Posted on January 25, 2007 7:25 PM
Good call, lesfull. Wow. That term's a blast from the past.
21 of 22 | Posted by Flipit
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Posted on January 26, 2007 2:03 PM
actually, lesfull, a fruit fly is a woman who crushes out on gay men, a fag hag is just a woman who likes to go dancing at gay bars. At least that's what I've heard from all my gay dance hall buddies.
This season of Top Chef has really sucked, but thanks to Flipit's recaps, I've perservered. Good job! Thanks for pointing out the false editing, too...all those guys are losers in my book, now. BTW, sometime before or after this episode aired, Marcel got busted upside the head with a bottle in a bar in Vegas by some irate fan. The poor dude got 30 stitches. I am now 110% in the Marcel Monkey fan camp!
22 of 22 | Posted by txsierra
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Posted on January 27, 2007 5:35 PM