Leah says it's super important to know molecular gastronomy cuz it's new and cutting edge (or was like five seasons ago at least. How long does food stay in fashion? Anyone?), but it looks like she's frying up a pan of ham so who knows what the hell's up with her. Stefan tells us that he knows that he's a great chef and then adds that he's a great chef. Just in case you were wondering what he thinks of himself. He's making a panna cotta with mango puree inside so when you cut it open yellow comes out like an egg. He's also making a bernaise. The only one more confused by this challenge than me is Beaker, who admits up front that she doesn't know wtf to do, so she's coming up with something "clever". Green eggs and ham. Head slap. She said clever, not original. Sam made it in Season 2 on the beach. And it was hideous. I hope Beaker at least improves on that version.

Time starts winding down and everyone runs around. Fabio says he is running so fast he is "like Fletch." Chevy Chase Fletch? Man, the Blockbuster in Italy has some deep shit. Hosea takes time away from his egg white and asparagus brilliance to tell us that Beaker is too simple and there's no way Lipnicki is gonna like her green egg. Wipe your head, k? Beaker knows she's moving slowly, but she wants to get everything right. "I'm the tortoise in this challenge." That tugged at my heart strings. It's just not the same without Turtle moping around and muttering about how everyone sucks. Scar and Lipnicki are back and time is called. Stefan's up first. His work looks fantastic, as usual.

Stefanegg

Lipnicki thinks his work is very clever and he only has one question. "Did you know that dogs and bees smell fear?" Stefan does. He's so gonna win. Leah's next. She did a quail egg in potato with caviar and brioche with the egg and hollandaise. So another eggs benedict. Still, for Leah, this is top notch.

Picture 1-117

Lipnicki calls it nice. Dramatic oh shit we're all gonna die music starts playing when they get to Beaker, but Scar calls her dish "very pretty" and Lipnicki agrees and appreciates that it's not too spicy. Go Beak! He asks her "did you know that Muppets are a combination of 'marionette' and 'puppet'?" Beak is too thrown off by that to answer.

Picture 2-119
Sam just got schooled.

Lipnicki calls Hosea's sheet of egg white "neat". When he sees Hosea's tribute to his own giant head, Lip pauses, speechless. Then he asks "did you know that the human head weighs eight pounds?" and all the chefs answer "YES!" in unison.

Hoseaegg

Fabio opens up with "I am no good ayt brakefast!" Smooth. Then he shows off the tackiest looking dish of the season. Seriously. that column? Where did he even find that shit? Hilarious. All it's missing is a fake crystal chandelier and a faux finished wall in the background.

Picture 7-78
Come over to mya house!

In case you're wondering, it's a quail egg with a buckwheat pancake and coconut milk panna cotta with mango puree. Didn't Stefan just use mango and panna cotta? Come on dude think for your damn self. Lipnkicki asks "do you know my neighbor has three rabbits?" Fabio just smiles big like it's the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to him. Lipnicki calls Fabio out on the bottom for not showcasing the egg, and he wasn't so into Hosea's work either because it didn't flow. He didn't like Leah's quail egg/potato either. He did like that Beaker used humor in her cooking and says it's clear to him that Stefan is very strong and has "expert" preparation. And Beak wins!!!! SWEET!!! The only one not to try to kiss his ass with molecular gastronomy. Love it! He said that he appreciated that she made one simple dish instead of trying to shove a whole bunch of crap on the plate like everyone else. Stefan takes it really well. Well, he rolls his eyes and looks like he's gonna barf, but he doesn't yell or throw anything so that was sweet.

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Comments (18)

Quean CeCe:

I love you Flip, you make me laugh until I cry so I tell you this with love ... look up squab in the dictionary.

real_atlanta_girl:

I lost count of the times I laughed out loud while reading this recap. Thank you for noting the dewy, soft lens they used, especially for octogenarian Pepin. I thought something was wrong with my TV.

Soooo glad the Stalker is gone. Seriously the editors hate her too. Did you see her ask some dude at Whole Foods where the butter and eggs were? Haven't they shopped there quite a bit already? Even if not, could she really not figure this out herself? Hate! She's given some post-booting bitter interviews saying she hates Toby (yay!), her boyfriend dumped her for kissing Hosea (yay!), she had never put a plate together from start to finish before the show (no kidding!), and she doesn't regret kissing Hosea (yuck!)

Btw, Fabio said he was like "a flash, zip, zip, zip" not Fletch.

njgasmifan:

Well done as usual, Flipit! While watching this epi, I was thinking of you - there was some great fodder this week.
But what I totally did not see coming was your screencap about PS Leah's "eye view" of HOSEa'a bald head. OMG, hilarity ensued when I read that.

Was it just me, or did PS Leah look HAPPY to be cut loose? Honestly, she looked like she won instead of being told to pack her knives. Good riddance to the pouts, baby talk, stalking and poor cooking skills.

I was nervous for Beak when Juanita and Ronda were reading Dr. Seuss - thought that might backfire on our girl, but she pulled it off. Great job, and loved her "See ya!" tortise impersonation.

I found Fabio charming early on, then he began to grate on me a bit - but he was a total class act in this epi. He even hid his broken finger while serving dinner and at Judges Table - as if to not emphasize his injury so he could be judged on his food alone. You know that HOSEa would have had his arm in a sling and blame everything on his injury. LOVED his saying "clever" for cleaver when he was "cut ting up da cheeken widda clever like Chason." And the new shirt will have to be "It's Top Chef, not Top Pussy" - classic!

I'm totally over Toby (sorry Juddfan :-)) and it appears that our Tom-Tom is too. He makes sourpuss faces whenever Toby monologues.

It was good to see Stephan get a little humble pie - there is such a thing as overconfidence. Hoping for a Stephan, Carla, Fabio F3!

THANKS Flip for the morning laugh!!!

slutty_whore:

I thought the lady's name was Susan UNGARO, not LINGARO... but whatevs, since she doesn't matter in the long run.

I'm so glad that Beaker and Fabio have survived, and I hope that Hosea is gone next week. He doesn't really do anything well, other than Leah, and he doesn't deserve to be in the finals.

My ranking for final 4:

4th- Hosea
3rd- Fabio
2nd- Carla
1st- Stefan

I think that any of the chefs have to cook at their absolute best to beat Stefan at this point, which is not going to happen, especially with what looks like sabotage in the next episode with the usual Top Chef "who turned the burners down?" mystery.

Flipit, another great recap and I love you so much! Thanks so much for being my Facebook friend! I feel like I know a celebrity!

philo:

Two things I am dumbfounded by after this episode:
1. Carla was a model?
2. Green eggs and ham wins over Stefan's dish?

This Lipinski guy is into molecular gastro cooking and Stefans to me was the closest to that type of cooking, but suddenly he is into simplicity?

BTW, Lipinski, was that a Chiapet under your shirt? He had chest hair creeping up his neck like ivy on the side of a building. A little man-scaping before going on national TV next time please.

I'd like to thank Scar for the highbeams and the judges for eliminating Leah. Still a little perplexed that Leah was eliminated when every judge disliked Stefan's dish but there were a few that didn't mind Leah's runny eggs. At this point I think the judges know who they want in the finals (and Leah wasn't one of them).

In next week's preview, did they show people in New Orleans yelling "HOOTIE HOO"? Can't wait.

Great recap as always.

Snootchy Bootches:

1. Squab is young pigeon not duck. :p

2. I could picture Beaker as a model. She has beautiful bone structure and is pretty when she isn't making faces.

3. When Fabio said the whole Top Pussy thing I immediately thought of you, Flip. Wait... that sounded wrong. I mean that I thought about how you must have loved that. This season is filled with material for these recaps.

4. There was a shot of the "last supper" table and Toby was seated on the end. In several renaissance images, Judas is sat apart from the others (on the end or on the other side of the table), maybe Toby is the Judas of this last supper? Or maybe they sat him on the end because then only one person would be stuck sitting beside his lame ass?

Awesome recap, as always!!

User Name:

Flipit, I just have to say that your Top Chef recaps make me laugh out loud more than just about anything else on the internet! Just when I think it couldn't get any better, you give me this:

"She tells us the tortoise story again, but Juanita gets bored and breaks into Josh Grobin's "You Lift Me Up."

suckitbitches:

LOL - I thought Fabio said "flesh" so I thought he meant streaking.

areyoucliff:

Snootchy Bootches: I though the same thing about Carla before Flipit said anything about. I was noticing how tall and thin she is and that in a unique, quarky way that she is very beautiful.

I hope that it is Stefan and Carla in the final two. I am shocked at the selection of chefs for this season. Most of them could not cook their way out of a paper bag. I think that Stefan is the only chef that could have competed with chefs from the other seasons. Ummm?

Fabulous recap Flipit. I keep laughing at the Big Mac line. Nice!

flipit:

guys thanks so much for reading and commenting. and i am mortified about calling squab duck. i know it's pigeon! we serve it at the restaurant i work at! so lame. that's what i get for writing these in the middle of the night. haha. HOOTIE HOO!!!

lajane:

"I'll bet she was passed around that first kitchen like a cold." I almost spit my wine all over my computer screen when I read that. You know it's gotta be true.

LoraGW:

Flipit, I'm to the point where I can't tell if I read your recaps because I watch Top Chef, or if I watch Top Chef so that I can read your recaps.

"We done here? Cuz I got a chop on the grill." Why is that making me LOL every time I see it?

HOOTIE HOO!

BugMom22:

I think Carla is definitely "sexy-ugly" like Angelica Huston. She's what Tyra would call "exotic" (read "ugly"). Loves her though and the show wouldn't be the same without her. It must be her Tom was talking about when he said we'd be suprised who ended up in the finals.
I'm an unapologetic member of team Stefan and if he doesn't win something is very wrong in reality tv world. As far as Hosea goes... dude, get over yourself. You suck and I can't deal with it anymore.
Yeah New Orleans! Can't wait for the finals in one of my favorite places on earth. I could die happy surrounded by food in New Orleans. Loves ya Flipit!

Liberal Wag:

Pigeon, duck, who gives a ...
This recap made me laugh out loud. I heart Carla and hope she wins. And I really heart Flipit. Best recapper ever.

skies:

The whole time Hosea was cooking the quick fire I was wondering if sweat was dripping into the food. Totally grossed me out.
Daddy Tom was sure rockin that suit.
And please say that Toby won't be back next year. He tries to be funny(I think) but comes across as an evil mean spirited little troll with a boulder on his shoulder.
I'm rooting for Carla for the win but it probably will be a$$ hole Stefan.
Hope she wins fan favorite.
Funny recap as usual.

J-Mo:

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The picture of Beaker holding her hands "this far" apart and looking excited and amazed was BEE-YOO-TEE-FUL! Ditto the one of Carla in a burka!

Boy, I guess I never noticed what. a. fucking. SCHNOZ. Hose(a) has! Combine that with his snaggle-teeth and his schlubbiness and the only word that comes to mind is "Hawt." And "Pukeyvomit." And "Heandleahdeserveeachothersotheycanbetheasshatcouple."

Awesome job, Flipit, you knocked it out of the park... AGAIN!

love, J-Mo :)

Y3KPhenom:

SPOILER ALERT! (sort of)

I am watching the final part 1 and I don't care who wins this quickfire - this is not fair!

tracyintpa:

Flipit, I love you, will you marry me? LOL.. this was one of the funniest recaps ever.....

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