Daddy Tom collects their menu plans and leads them back to the ski lift. They pick knives to determine who will get to work with which mystery guest as a sous chef, and they all get skerd. Bunny says that in the past, the guest chefs have been some of the worst contestants from that season (sorry Lee Anne, not you) and Dung, just as skeptical, speculates on his picks out loud. Howie, Micah and Clay. Dude. Inside voice. You're on top of a mountain and no one wants to see Clay jump. He doesn't care who it is, if it's gonna be a past contestant, he's not happy. You know, "because they've been all hateds towards me." And you're such a loveable little guygirl! Oh, this is good! Coming out from between the moving gondolas are shiny, moisturized Celebrity Chefs! Dung gets Rocco DiSpirito, who appears from between the gondolas with a bag of his frozen pasta and a bumper stickers that say "Get in the DiSpirto *Nabisco Betty Crocker Chile's Wal-Mart Cuisinart*! He winks at the cameras and dedicates this one to the ladies.
Hung is thrilled and squeals like a piglet in a wood chipper. He drops on his back again to touch his ankles to his ears, but Rocco didn't bring any cash. Ah well, that's ok! This one's on Dung! Foo Foo gets Michelle Bernstein, and a pang of jealousy goes coursing through my being; not over Foo getting to meet the talented chef, but over Michelle Bernstein looking so hot and thin! Someone's been to the gym. And the stylist. And the MAC store. Great work, team! She looks hot. I press pause and have a revelation....
Maybe it's time I called Jenny.
Baldhawk is left with Todd English, a rich, handsome celebrity chef. Uh-oh. Baldhawk needs all the concentration he can muster, and he was just paired with a hottie. Eye on the prize, Baldhawk!
This is just not fair.
It's really cool to see the Guest Judges at work in the kitchen instead of sitting back with a glass of wine or ten and droning on about the free food they just ate, like they usually do. Michelle B. and Foo Foo both say "faaabulous!" the same way so you know they'll make a good team. Finding a soul mate is easy, but finding a "faaabulous" in common is the ultimate bonding experience. Hung expresses how thrilled he is to be working with DiSpirito and blablah and then he goes into his ingredient and preparation lists. This won't be any typical Vietnamese meal after all! Raise that bar, kid! Rocco, who suffers from severe ADD (if you don't believe me, rent The Restaurant), holds up his bag of Rocco's Frozen Pasta and shrugs. Dung pats him on the cheek, tells him he's pretty, and sends him off to get cutting boards.
The muzac version of "What the World Needs Now" plays in the background.
Rocco tells us that his challenge is to be there to help his new little friend "without giving away too much, obviously." I have a feeling the only thing you have to "give away" to this kid is coupons tonight, tiger. Just try to keep up. And keep up he does. These two work really well together. Apparently, Anthony Bourdain (love you call me) wrote in his blog that he'd like to see a cook off between DiSpirito and Dung, so Rocco says that instead they should both open their own restaurants and not reveal who owns which one so Bourdain will never, CAN never, know who's the best chef. Oh come on. No one's that dumb. Yours will have the whir of microwaves in the air and Dung's will have skinned ducks hanging from the air conditioner.
Baldhawk is pleased as punch that he gets to flirt with a rich hottie and boss him around at the same time. He's like "how many restaurants do you own? OMG could you imagine, Bunny? He's like soooo rich," and Todd English is like "yeah, I can't even count em. I'm totally the most eligible bachelor ever," and Balkhawk's all "OMG LUV U MARRY ME" and Todd English goes "never gonna get it." Aw. Poor Baldhawk. He turns it around and makes English his "little pet bitch". LOL, BH. Todd worries that Baldhawk may have too many competing flavors, as he is going his usual route and throwing in everything short of glitter.
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Comments (13)
How unsurprised would you be to know that I looooove Rocco? I'd totaly lay down & put my ankles to my ears for him. Five dolla, two dollar, no dolla - don't care!
Glad you didn't commit hari kari when the Hung Train of Awesomeness rolled over the rest of the competition!! The knowledge that you had to write this recap made the victory that much sweeter!!
Yaaaay Hung!!!!
1 of 13 | Posted by Pegster | Posted on October 7, 2007 8:05 AM
flipti! i love reading your recaps. great job. I'm a little sad you missed it when Scar said, "well, hung...." I laughed so hard when I heard her say that. with that said, I'm thrilled that Hung won! I'd love to eat at his restaurant. btw, asian seafood isn't known to have citrus in it. so don't see what they were yammering bout.
2 of 13 | Posted by lolafan | Posted on October 7, 2007 10:54 AM
Flipit you sick son of a bitch you!
MONKEY PORN!!!!
OMG I laughed so hard I gave myself a freakin headache!
I love you, you crazy man!
Can I come live with you? I cook and I can tell people how to clean!
3 of 13 | Posted by CheriesTake | Posted on October 7, 2007 12:34 PM
Baldhawk's self portrait was priceless! Thanks for all the Top Chef fun,
Flipit. YOU made the show so much better!
4 of 13 | Posted by Jellybean49 | Posted on October 7, 2007 3:43 PM
Oh, man -- love you, Flip it? Where to start? Do I chastise you for the beef curtains reference/visual? LOL at you for the requirements for a proper fag hag? Or confess that I didn't immediately get "scalpy watcher", 14 across? (LOL & Duhhhhh.)
Let's just say, great recap, great season, and I don't have any problem with Hung winning -- because, well, he's not Ilan.
5 of 13 | Posted by Lime23 | Posted on October 7, 2007 6:08 PM
Actually Baldhawk called Todd English his "prep bitch", but I doubt anybody cares at this stage.
HUNG ROOLS!
6 of 13 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on October 8, 2007 2:35 PM
Oh, and I had to look up 'french gnocchi'
It is not made with flour and potatoes, but with a choux pastry dough (flour, butter and egg) that is piped into tiny pieces then boiled, and then usually baked in sauce.
So it is an especially light version of this Italian classic.
7 of 13 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on October 8, 2007 2:57 PM
Thanks again my favorite flipit man!!!! Don't you think we should all go over Donna Martin's for some home cooked meals!!! OR maybe DM, you should apply for next season . . . I'm very impressed with yours and Flipit's culinary knowledge!
Loved the pig in the wood chipper, and that's some serious disdain posting some monkey love . . . liked the sound track though--hopefully Amy Wino will pull it together and give us more music!
HEART and Can't wait for Project Runnway!!!!
8 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 8, 2007 5:58 PM
Thanks for making TP entertaing yet again, flipit. Was it just me or the live feed results kind of. . .sucked. Sure it was cool to see Marcel there, but I would have rather him been a picture-in-picture where he found teh results the results out the first time. In any case it sucks Hung one, I was going for Foo but she fumbled her pork belly right on the goal line. Now ung can get the full prcedure with $100 grand, and maybe have enough leftover to buy Marcel a spit foam machine for his Cpt. Crunch in the morning.
9 of 13 | Posted by mattypopo | Posted on October 9, 2007 11:37 AM
Hey, juddfan, thanks very much for the vote of confidence.
But some of those challenges really put the chefs behind the eightball, you know what I mean? They were so difficult they were almost impossible.
Too stressful!
10 of 13 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on October 9, 2007 11:52 AM
Well . . . we wouldn't pressure you! and with us in attendance, crushed fritos could go a long way!!!! I do see what you mean about the challenges . . . the worst part is how little time they give them, but as a contestant, I would do cue cards to myself for as many things I could do with "pork belly" for example . . . speaking of pork belly, that sounds like a challenge ingredient, not one someone would choose . . . ah well Foo, just not meant to be!
Mr. Flip . . . will we be getting a recap of the reunion? HEART
11 of 13 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on October 9, 2007 2:13 PM
Thanks Flipit.. you are a joy and I am better having known you....
I am really happy Hung won..... he deserved it.
12 of 13 | Posted by giffordsaz | Posted on October 9, 2007 10:57 PM
you guys thanx so much. of course i will be recapping the reunion!! i want to see if they will drag sam back out to be all hot for ratings, even though he's so last season. i trust they'll find a way.
thanks for all your funnies throughout the season. love
13 of 13 | Posted by flipit | Posted on October 10, 2007 1:54 AM