Testimonials

At first, it looks like their faaabulous in common might not be such a good thing for Foo Foo and Bernstein. Bunny seems to be having trouble sticking to her guns and formulating a plan, and Michelle can smell the fear. As Foo rambles off possible ingredients and cooking methods like she's answering questions in a pop quiz, you can hear the "mistake" in Michelle's "faaaabulous". Foo Foo responds with a "fuck you, bitch" in her "faaabulous". Uh oh. There's a possibility that this could be a negative faaabulous in common. Watch out. Michelle thinks Foo might be over doing it a little bit for Bernstein's minimalist taste. But she's faaabulous (screwed).

So we are in the middle of prep time and two of the Chefs are "over-doing it" and one's kicking ass. Let's eat. I think we all know where this is going. But there's still an hour of prep time to go! The altitude has changed the way the kitchen runs. Water never comes to a boil, for one thing, which leaves Baldhawk with a bowl of goo instead of gnocci. Todd has confidence in him, though. We all know by now that Baldhawk is shocked by something that doesn't work at the last minute, and he always finds a way to not suck the most.

Rocco is sweatin up a Howie and he still doesn't understand what the hell Dung's up to, but he's really enjoying the camera time, saying things like "you've really gotta take the time to taste your Rocco Frozen Pasta" and kissing his fingers while he winks at the cameras. Even Michelle has come around. She thought Foo Foo was a total flake at first, but sees now that she's competent, patient, and positive. Somehow, the Bunny's managed to tenderize her pork belly against all odds and it's downright inspiring! Girl Power! In the movie version, "Suddenly I See" will be blaring while Foo Foo has a chopping and sauteeing montage.

Peek-a-boo!

The next day, they arrive back at the newest Not Kenmore Kitchen for their two hours of cooking time. Hung learned during the cowboy challenge that portable stoves give off enough heat to sear, and he sets some up in the back of the kitchen so he doesn't have to deal with anyone in his way. He is going to run in place in his little corner and concentrate really hard on showing the Judges that he has a soul to put into his food. I still don't get that critique. Who wants to eat something with Dung Soul in it? You'll swallow a razor blade. Keep your soul away from me.

Foo and Baldhawk consider themselves lucky. With Dung out of the way, there's a lower likelihood that burners will accidentally get turned off or someone will accidentally get their eye poked out by a knife. Even the lobsters breathe a sigh of relief, knowing they won't accidentally get knocked on the ground to suffocate to death before their time. It's a win/win.

Daddy Tom comes in to check on progress, and Baldhawk immediately revs up that habitual confession tick he has. He admits to blowing it with the French gnocci because he didn't take the altitude into consideration, but says he made regular gnocci and everything's ok it's ok it's alright stop STARING AT ME! Just keep your mouth zipped, BH! You just told him that you're about to serve something lesser than because you didn't properly think it through. Chefs don't apologize! Take my advice: whatever goes wrong, blame Todd English.

Foo Foo spends yet another diary session explaining the challenge to us just in case we haven't watched the show. Ever. She's like, "in the first hour, it's best to prepare your sauces. Then move on to the cooking and searing. An then wash your hands again to ensure proper safety in the work pla.." zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. The Top Chef will have to be a good cook, yes. But he/she will also have to keep people awake. What are your hobbies, Foo? What's your favorite color? What are you FEELING?

When Daddy Tom gets to her station, she is peeling a peach. French Grandmother instilled a very deep running ethic regarding cooked fruit at dinner time. It's becoming Foo's trademark. Well, alongside the inescapable Rachel Green hair.

"The Rachel: Version 2: Early nineties incarnation."

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Posted in Top Chef by Flipit at 5:33 AM | Permalink | Comments (13)
Last Comment: flipit on Oct 10, 2007 01:54 AM.