Great recap, J-Mo! Robin (I love the 80's Hooker nickname!) has every right to mention her cancer experience. First of all, having cancer takes over your life and I imagine it would stay that way for a long time. Four years isn't that long. Plus, it was appropriate for the challenge. She was literally faced with a life-and-death decision on which side to listen to, the angel or the devil. But I hate Fat Kid anyway - he reminds me of Artie Lange from MadTV and I couldn't stand him.

I seem to recall that at the very least 80s Hooker mentioned her battle with cancer on the very first episode. I any case, I really don't think she's at the same level as most of these chefs.

Okay, J-Mo, I will be the one to disagree about Penn and Teller. It is all very black humor. The "trick" usually goes wrong and it involves a lot of blood. Who doesn't think that's funny? Anyway, great recap! Take care of your back!

Feel better, J-mo, hope you were at least doing something fun when said event threw out your back . . . ; )

I was steaming mad at that comment, I believe I screamed, "What a fucking douche" or something like that. I have to admit that I learn so much more about the food from these recaps than I ever get watching the show, I don't just sit there, and tend to play with the cats etc while listening, so anyway, didn't realize how simple 80's dish was, and it WAS pretty simple, but I do think it met the requirements for the challenge best (Mary's sounded like a good read too)

Those idiots just can't stand to lose . . . I hate people who can't share in someone's success, Lil V being the worst at that--and I'm still mad at him for not crediting Jen, but I do think he's more of an underdog of the two bro's, so I cheer him from that perspective. I don't think he's ever sucked on anything.

I was really liking Bernie this time. I don't get Penn and Teller either, and I kind of hate Penn and his loud, boastish manner. That was some lammo magic, and the way he screamed about it like it was amazing . . . whatev . . . maybe he's hard of hearing . . .

As for TTT, I think I'm the only one in the universe who would get with that, don't ask me what happened in my childhood to make me feel all sexy about (insert your description here, J-mo-coz it was perfect in it's 3-D ness) assholes with square little heads, but there you have it. Kinda pathetic how he offended so many other hosts, this time Bernie with the "ll" thing. He really looked like an idiot, but I'd have taken him back stage and petted his little scarred noggin'. I'm sure they used makeup on it so he couldn't compete with the real Scar.

Ron was harmless, but wont be missed. He does seem asleep at the wheel. I also didn't like his interpretation of team work a few weeks back. They could have cut all three in the bottom (and soon will) but I'll pull for Sticky anyhoo . . . she seems like a better put together "simple" chef like Robin.

If I didn't say it, J-mo, I 100% agreed with your take on the whole thing, esp that she never mentioned it b4. Her babbling would get on my last nerve tho.

XOXOXOXOXO

If one were to proclaim oneself "the best chef here", wouldn’t you think one would have won something? Anything? Well, FatKid is certainly not going to win Miss Congeniality with his attitude. What a prick. It seems like there is a lot of sore-loser/piss poor 'tude this season.

J-Mo, you are lucky I don't live near AZ. Otherwise, I would be stalking you to become my BFF. "Luckily for Bernie, her piece was properly boned. Much like Ron's entry into the Quickfire Challenge." Bwhahahahaha!

I actually work with someone who is unable to filter the random thoughts that flit across the lobes of their brains. Every thought must be verbalized... "hmm, what will I have for lunch today?" "Gee, that's an interesting email" "oh, I've got a button missing on my shirt".... blah blah blah. When you are trying to concentrate, it's enough to make you homicidal. So I don't blame the group (and Sticky) for being upset with Hooker's unending blather. I don't think she played the sympathy card, tho. As you so eloquently pointed out, it's well into the season and this is the first time she mentioned it. She did not shoe-horn it into a conversation, it was her response to the challenge. But, I still don't think she is that spectacular a chef, especially given the talent on this show.

Sexist Pigshit's asking everyone what Eggs Florentine was cracked me up. Even funnier was how several folks (Dirty Bear comes to mind) replied with "I don't know". Yeah. Right. The faces that Sexist makes when he loses send me into peals of laughter. I can't wait to see both him and Fat Kid taken down big time. Hopefully by a GURRRRL.

Ron really seemed clueless, and in over his head. Definately time to go. Your description of his speech had me ROTF - so true! I had to have closed caption on to get half of what he said.

Personally, I lurve Penn and Teller, but can't quite tell you why. That said, I have never seen a live show, and usually just catch bits of them on TV. Perhaps I would not be so interested if I was watching a whole show.

REALLY sorry to hear about your back - been there, it's a bitch. But the drugs can be fun...hope you feel better soon! Great big hugs - xoxoxo

I may be wrong, but I think that 80's has mentioned the cancer thing at least once in every episode, so much so that I thought you might be kidding in your remarks...

One wonders if Sexist Pigshit would have won if he just gone with his instinct that eggs florentine has spinach in it.

It's a variation of eggs benedict with spinach instead of ham or bacon. So basically vegetarian if you subsribe to the eggs are not meat vegetarism.

As for Penn and Teller the appeal has more to do with them doing new variations of the old magic tricks as well as doing a new take on the old magic show routine (no top hat, or cape just normal clothes and doing normal while loud introductions of the magic) and them being huge skeptics of the paranormal. They don't claim to be doing magic either.

J-Mo, one day I was innocently reading a recap on SYTYCD and caught sight of one of your screencaps for Top Chef Masters and it intrigued me so much that I read the whole thing ... and I LOVED it. Not being a foodie, I'd never heard of, much less been interested in cooking but ... now I am hooked and always look forward to reading your hilarious recaps. You ROCK!

I have to admit I think I'm a little in love with DirtyBear. He's endearing with his quirky little child-like and gleeful grins. (Hair preferences aside.)

Thanks yeschef, I knew P+T had that show, that I saw for one quick second, and I knew it had a lot to do with my distaste, and that is their skepticism for the supernatural.

I don't know why skepticism is such an ugly thing to me. . . I prefer to believe in just about everything . . . I guess it reminds me how small minded we humans are, and yet we think we're so goddamned smart. Were this true, wouldn't we have at least realized that the ocean is not a toilet, and therefore, we shouldn't be flushing all our shit into it . . .

I've actually seen a UFO, and had some very weird ouija sessions, doses of physic stuff and even a vision of a previous life . . . go head, laugh!!!!

cbc-cca, I agree, DB is quite huggable when his cheeks redden . . .

JMo, I think the ingredient Ron was talking about (cho cho) was chayote.

I hate, hate, hate Penn and Teller. They manage to combine two of the most irritating phenomena on Earth, the obnoxious blowhard and the mime, and make it EVEN MORE horrifying than it sounds.

I figure if you have had cancer, you are entitled to talk about it once in awhile. Maybe MORE than once in awhile. She's going home soon, anyway.

The chefs really struggled this week, didn't they? I think we saw the top chef rise to the top, since DirtyBear beat several chefs who are accustomed to deconstructing (the Volts). I hope he wins it all.

Luv ya, JMo!

Wonderful recap as always, J'Mo and Treats Galore about your back (as my Poppy used to say). For what it's worth, I think 80s hooker has as much right to talk about her experience with cancer in the context of this challenge as Sam did to talk about his diabetes in the reduced sugar challenge, season... Um, I'm not really great with numbers. You know, the season Ilan won by using saffron every week.

Take care dear, Treats Galore

So what did everyone think of Ash's comment about how he should just make a salad and crisp from now?

This was the second week Robin had immunity. Both times she created dishes that might have put her in danger of being sent home. I think that really pisses the other chefs off. And I can understand that.

Great recap J-Mo! Sorry about the back - I've been there many times, and it's not fun. Here's hoping for a quick recovery.

Kudos on your deconstruction history with the McDLT. Personally, I worked at McD's back when the QLT came out in '77 (just like the McDLT, but already constructed). They just have never been able to come up with a lettuce and tomato burger to compete with the Whopper.

It is beyond me how so many of these jerks have to resort to claims of "favoritism" or "pulling out the cancer card" (or whatever), rather than accepting that someone actually cooked BETTER THAN THEM, and that's why they won! Just like we've seen so many sob stories trotted out on American Idol, but thankfully the votes (supposedly) are based on talent, rather than on who had the hardest luck.

While I don't really care for Penn & Teller either, I would have been eternally grateful if they had made Pigshit and Fatass DISAPPEAR!

I don't remember Robin mentioning the cancer prior to this, but I suppose I could be mistaken. That's happened once or twice in my half-century on this spinning globe.

Thanks for making this so much fun for us. It's as delightful to read about the episodes as it is to watch them. Actually, I have lately begun to think that I'd like to get the past seasons on dvd and go back and watch from the early days on.

Rest the back and take care of yourself.

Lots O' Love

No, Top Chef itself has made an issue of the ickiness of finger licking in the past. On the first episode of Top Chef, each of the contestants had to assist Chef Hubert; when one of the contestants tasted the food with his fingers, Hubert threw him out of the kitchen. The pompous contestestant continued to argue with my fauxbeau Tom Collichio that it was acceptable practice, and was eliminated because of it.

Ditto to everything pixielated said - word for word.

But as for the CONSTANT yammering, I would have thrown something at Robin. Everyone hates it, but it doesn't appear like anyone said, "PLEASE be quiet. I can't think." So they have no right to bitch about it.

I also heard Ash saying all he needed to do in the future was just make a salad. I thought it was pretty darn rude. Someone needs to tell him that no, all he REALLY needs to do is serve a dish that is finished and successful and quit trying to beat the clock or outdo others. Just do your OWN best. That's what Robin did and she won.

Poor old Ron. I'll miss him and his fish. When he voodooed up his test I fell over laughing. Apparently it worked. No snakes!

And the first paragraph of this recap had me CRYING I was laughing so hard. I called my sister to read it to her and SHE was crying. You just make my week!

Get better SOON! We love you to pieces!

kzarny - that was season 2 :)

baffled - I am almost sure someone said SOMETHING, but it probably didnt make the cut. If no one did say anything, you are right, they don't have room to whine.

Robin would definitely get on my last nerve very quickly.

Agree (again) that using your fingers/re-using a spoon/fork/etc is DISGUSTING and I too remember Hubert throwing a contestant out, and I would do the same. That's just disgusting.

Excellent recap, as per usual!

Also agree on the Robin's cancer issue... I thought she tied it in to her quickfire dish tastefully, and, in order to make the judges understand just why she chose this path, she provided that as a (totally valid) backstory.

She didnt broach it in an "ohhhhh i ran out of time but its cause I had cannnnnncerrrrrr" manner in an attempt to offer an excuse. There was nothing "woe is me" about her cancer story. Therefore I think FatKid needs to shut his mouth, and instead of worrying how OTHER people win, he should focus on his OWN dishes and winning.

Amen, Baffled. Ash, just try not sucking and see it that helps . . .k?

If I'm not mistaken aI believe it was the first episode of season 1 when someone got kicked off for putting their fingers in a dish.

And I love Jen b/c even though her dish was obviously good, she is such a perfectionist that she was disappointed in it. She cooks to her own standards and doesnt compare herself to others. (Same with DirtyBear too)

I, for one, love Penn & Teller's Bullshit on Showtime (though I have never seen their magic).

"Unfortunately for me, my angel is thin and pasty and wears skinny jeans and eyeliner and whines like Christian Siriano, saying "fierce hot tranny mess girlfriend snap snap head roll" a lot and annoys the fuck out of me, while my devil is big and beefy and wears booty shorts and not much else and says dirty things in the deep dulcet masculine tones of John Goodman while flashing his big dick at me and guess who I wind up hanging out with a helluva lot more?"

HA! That had me laughing out loud and my husband is giving me funny looks. He keeps wanting to know what I am laughing about, but it just isn't funny in the retelling, you know?

About the cancer thing... She definitely mentioned it once in the first episode, but iirc, it was during her recorded intro thing and not to/with the other contestants.

Fat Kid is a douche. He and some of his other playmates need to shut the fuck up and cook. If they are all so great, then they don't need to try and tear other people down to make themselves look good. They should be able to just win every week. Oh, you didn't win? Then you must not be the best chef around, huh?

And I have to echo the sentiments expressed above about DirtyBear. Could he possibly be more adorable? I love his grin when he is happy! I looks like a sweet little chubby Christmas elf or something. And he makes tasty southern food, which doesn't make me hate him either.

Thanks for another funny recap, J-Mo! I hope your back feel better soon. By coincidence, I screwed my back up last week so I am also doing the relaxing drug thing myself.

Not sure what happened with that sentence above. It should be "HE looks like a little..."

Or maybe I was going for "I think he looks like a little..."

I blame the drugs.

kara - Thanks! I knew it was really early in the run.

Snootchy Bootches - Thank you too! I have been picturing DB as more of a little Wearing-of-the-green leprechaun. You know, green suit, buckles on his shoes, clay pipe and grinning about his shellalegh? Now I get to picture him with pointy shoes and a candy cane. This is almost better than paper dolls :D

Thanks for the recap J-Mo

I was waitin' for my recap fix wondering what was taking so long - didn't know you were under the weather, hope you feel better soon. Drugs help - that and hot toddies.

Well, Ron is gone. Who didn't see that coming? When he put forth that rice brick with chopped stuff slapped on top I wasn't surprised. I was laying in bed last night and I couldn't help thinking: what could he have done to deconstruct the paella? I thought he could have cooked up some well cooked rice seasoned with saffron and other spices, mold it in one those little mold things, crisp both sides of rice patty thing. Then he could brunoise the veggies that are usually in paella and place the small piles strategically around the plate. Put a nice grilled shrimp on top the rice patty, have a little chicken on the side. Bring the whole thing together by drizzling on a lovely tomato, garlic, and butter sauce. I hope I made sense. I'm no chef but I think that's doable for deconstruction right?

Fat Kid was so out of line. But hey unfortunately the average shallow twentysomething doesn't think about STD much less cancer. I liked 80s Hooker's dish. I do that at a restaurant all the time - get nice green salad then order a luscious dessert. And as far as her mumbling to herself and getting others to help her and what not - someone say something. This is some passive aggressive crap. Yeah they would like 80s Hooker much better if she did a Bitter Jen and helped others when she had immunity. But hey if you don't like it speak up.

Is it me or did everyone go scallop crazy? I'm tired of scallops and ceviche. And puree and foam. I was looking at an Iron Chef episode and for the first time they let students compete against the Iron Chef. The students didn't win but they were professional and positive and used techniques I never heard of before- I should have taped it. The Iron Chef they competed against offered them internships at his restaurant. And you know what- they deserved it. Some of these idjits could have learned something.

Also as for Big volt's dish - I wasn't surprised he didn't win. It was supposed to be some kind of frozen confection dish and the stuff looked like it would have left stab wounds in your mouth. No one wants to eat jagged food - I don't care who you are.

Now all I'm waiting for is the Mad Men recap. Please let it come soon Loula....

J-Mo, as always, you had me in stitches. I LOVE how you always capture the sore loser pusses - especially in the case of sexist pigshit!

I hope your back feels better soon. Many many kisses and hugs!

SWAK, PottyMouth

"sing your fingers/re-using a spoon/fork/etc is DISGUSTING "

About the only times using your fingers on food in a professional kitchen is to prepare the food that is going to be cooked or is cooked, to test the doneness of meat (it's taught in culinary classes and even blindfolded a number of students and professional chefs are as good as a meat thermometer). but you do not put your fingers in your mouth or touch certain things such as raw meat or uncooked seafood then touch cooked meat. That is how bacteria gets transmitted and for that matter certain food borne illnesses. Chefs are trained to vigously wash their hands and do a lot of hand washing even during service. As for reusing the same spoon they have a basin they are supposed to use to wash off the tasting spoons.

Hubert threw the guy out of the quickfire for violating basic kitchen culinary etiquite.

It's fine when you cook a meal for yourself that you use your fingers to taste stuff it's your own bacteria even if you are already infected but other people don't need that bacteria.

Agreed, yeschef. And then the guy started acting like he was Gordon Ramsay. Hey, Gordo has EARNED his right to be a total dick in the kitchen! That guy... not so much. :p (PS. I love GR!)

Thanks again for clarification, yeschef. I am sure they have a basin they are supposed to use, but I am going to venture a guess that there are a few people out there that don't. It is true, maybe all the contestants on this show do that, but since that part is not shown, the only thing that really catches my attention is it being "re-used". And I agree, no one needs that bacteria!

Gosh darn it, J-Mo, I'm trying to read your insanely funny recap and then you had to throw in some French.

No, not only some French, but a song lyric in French wh/ means I have to draw on skills that once had an ex-French boyfriend weeping at the sound of his beloved language being butchered. (I didn't think he was that hot at English, either, but his answer was "But, I am French." His standard answer to everything, and what can you say to that?) Now, I'm trying to translate Bone Thugz into in pigeon French. I've got nothing but "Vous n'aurez pas être seul." (Wh/ isn't the same, but three-year-old French children speak better than I do. Probably better English, too, as I'm Texan. ;))

Back to the recap, but I swear I'm running that dang song through babbelfish when I am through.

Jennaboa, that is funny. My husband's grandmother is from France and she answers most questions with "Of course, I do. I am French."

Ggggjjjjkkkkk... I am watching so many TV shows, they are piling up in my DVR, not to mention in my TVGasm reading queue. The horror. Then I have to go and catch up with the Top Chef recaps and see the genius I'm missing if I skip them! The horror! Love love love the Ronspeak, J-Mo, and now thanks to you I can't stop picturing Christian Siriano in a Christmas-pageant angel costume, complete with tinfoil halo held up by wire. The horror!!!!!!!! Glad you are annoyed at Tiny Tewwible Toby's pronunciation of paella. Me too! I have yet to meet a British person who doesn't use the stupid pie-ellah and acts all surprised that there is another, different, correct way to say it.

I don't know what else Carrefours is, Jennaboa, but in Europe it's a large chain of big-box/grocery stores, so I find the little song very appropriate to say goodbye to Mattin...

Viane slice, I don't know deconstruction from a hole in the road, so your idea sounds good to me. However, no butter in paella, please! Ever - olive oil all the way!

Juddfan, you broke my heart a little today, since I'm a big skeptic. However, that includes being skeptic of the religiouly-zealous skeptics, so I hope that makes me only half-ugly, not double-ugly in your view, ya big flake! Kidding, kidding, :-) your posts are always the cherry on my TVGasm sundae. You're the best!

but I did see a UFO, and not just a light in the sky . . . . and I saw it with my friend whose the biggest sceptic in the world!!!!

Anyhoo, thought it would be funny to mention it here, but really, . . . we did!

J-mo you make my day every day!!! I would never want to break your heart and I always believe in, at the very least, agreeing to disagree. I find the world a much more exciting place to believe in everything, for example, I believe 80's hooker will take down Sexist Pigshit!!!!! Please . . . that would be so awesome . . . please hear my prayers reality TV gods!!!! I'll light a candle at your alter and everything!

XOXOXOXOXOXO

sayhuh:

thanks for letting me know it's olive oil instead of butter. I don't know paella from a hole in the ground so when I looked it up on the net, there were a trillion recipes and I think one of them may have had butter. Eh what can ya do?