This week on Top Chef, Fleasa tries to blame her shitty cooking on sabotage, Evangelass plays dirty (and no, I don't mean with Fleasa), and Twitch becomes the latest chef sent home for not following the rules.
"Listen all of y'all, this is sabotage!"
We open with the normal post-elimination musings about the competition getting harder, as Yoda notes it was difficult to watch Nikki go down in flames. Honey, it's impossible to go down in flames when you weren't even talented enough to get off the ground. If anything, Nikki hit a speed bump and spun out. Carrying over from last week's episode is exhaustion and Dale-hatred, even though Dale says he doesn't give a shit and just wants to focus on winning. The only one who doesn't seem to be dragging ass is Twitch, who's just had another fix and tells us he's either going to stab someone or make some amazing food. Judging from his track record in this competition, I don't think he should be allowed near the knives today...
The contestants arrive at the kitchen for the Quick Fire, where Scar is waiting with Sam Talbot from season 2. Sam is still by far the hottest guy they've had on this show -- besides Daddy Tom of course -- and finished in the top four during his season. He's also by far the least-qualified guest judge we've had all season, but he's hot so I don't care. Antonia agrees with my assessment, as she starts subconsciously touching her face and making bedroom eyes across the kitchen at him. Someone better get ahold of herself before she winds up with another kid without a baby daddy. The challenge is for the contestants to modernize the salad, and try to ignore Scar and Sam's repeated and outdated "Sexyback" references which is pretty damn difficult to do.
"Yes, Sam, I'd be happy to toss your salad."
Scar shouts go, and they're off. Evangelass is determined to do well at this QF since he usually is in the bottom. Richard is loosely interpreting the word salad, and making a ceviche of different fruits and vegetables. Fleasa scoffs at the 45-minute time limit, and then hilariously bitches to us that there are people left in the competition who don't deserve to be there because of their lack of talent and their shitty personalities. Hello, pot? You're fucking black too, you moron. You're probably the blackest one left.
Meanwhile, Antonia's making what she calls a fatty salad, meaning it's filled with unhealthy ingredients like eggs and bacon. I've never understood those kinds of salads -- if I'm just going to eat a lot of calories anyway, give me some pizza then. Antonia also tells us that she's worried about Fleasa, who recently has been looking like pretty tough competition. Seeing as though she's almost always in the bottom group, I'm going to disagree, Ant. You're just finally noticing her because there aren't that many other people left -- or you can't ignore her stench anymore. As time dwindles down, Yoda's shaking like a leaf and muttering curses under her breath -- and winds up not finishing plating her dish. Seriously, she should just sleep in each day until the start of the Elimination Challenge. What's the point in even showing up to the QFs for her?
Scar and Sam arrive for evaluations, visiting Twitch first. He's made a Thai fruit salad, which looks amazing and Sam says has good flavors. Next, Evangelass' sensual beef salad impresses Sam with its contrasting flavor profiles. Coming to Fleasa and her banana/lobster/squid salad, the judges seem overwhelmed by the banana flavors. Chewing squid and having it taste like banana does not sound appealing to me. Antonia offers the judges a wild mushroom salad with a poached egg on top -- that looks like a big glob of lard and oozes yolk when cut. However, despite its unappetizing appearance, Sam seems to really like it and compliments the flavors. Dale's poached chicken salad is last to be evaluated, and Sam is impressed by how moist the meat is. As for Richard's ceviche and Yoda's incomplete pear/artichoke dish, Sam merely thanked both of them before moving on without any other feedback.
Speaking of sensual beef...
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Comments (22)
I actually thought that sending Twitch home was a bad decision. Aren't good chef's supposed to open our eyes to new ways to eat and push the envelope a little? BTW: my brothers a cop and loves sushi so the comment about cops not liking sushi is way too broad a statement.
I think Evangelass should have been sent home not only for trying to screw everyone over but also for his crappy salad that didn't look appetizing at all. Come to think of it, I wouldn't have cared if he or Fleasa had gone home. Twitch was starting to grow on me.
1 of 22 | Posted by happymomma | Posted on May 20, 2008 6:32 AM
I actually kind of grew to like Twitch and was sorry to see him go. I think he definitely brought a cerain something to the show. I honestly just want Fleasa gone. I hate everything about her and she looks like she smells and has bad breath! I want Yoda or Antonia to win.
2 of 22 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:01 AM
I am SO sick of Dale's pissy attitude! Daddy Tom always says that a great chef is a great leader and Dale's constant rotten mood does not indicate superior leadership abilities.
I thought Vange should have gone home because the thought of olives with grapes made me (with my downright pedestrian palate) want to hurl. Olives are not just salty, they have a really strong flavor. Duh.
Cowardly move on Greasa's part to bring up the whole grain issue, as if the judges wouldn't notice! Her attitude is also not one indicative of a great leader.
And finally, Sam Talbot is a sexy beast. Meeee-owwww! I couldn't blame my girl Antonia as I would have turned bright red and possibly died in his presence.
3 of 22 | Posted by MissKatrina | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:31 AM
I am SO sick of Dale's pissy attitude! Daddy Tom always says that a great chef is a great leader and Dale's constant rotten mood does not indicate superior leadership abilities.
I thought Vange should have gone home because the thought of olives with grapes made me (with my downright pedestrian palate) want to hurl. Olives are not just salty, they have a really strong flavor. Duh.
Cowardly move on Greasa's part to bring up the whole grain issue, as if the judges wouldn't notice! Her attitude is also not one indicative of a great leader.
And finally, Sam Talbot is a sexy beast. Meeee-owwww! I couldn't blame my girl Antonia as I would have turned bright red and possibly died in his presence.
4 of 22 | Posted by MissKatrina | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:44 AM
Awww.... I'm gonna miss Twitch. And he's done much, much better than Fleasa or Evangelass.
Interestingly they send Twitch home for not paying attention to the rules, yet Fleasa got another chance for dissing Polish sausage.
I wanted to see Twitch in the final four with Yoda, Mommy, and the Hair Raiser.
5 of 22 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:54 AM
Awww, I'm gonna miss Twitch.
Interestingly, they sent Twitch home for not obeying the rules, yet Fleasa got to stay for not using Polish sausage.
And he's done much, much better than Fleasa and Evangelass overall.
I wanted to see Twitch in the final four with Yoda, Mommy, and the Hair Raiser.
6 of 22 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:58 AM
Testing, testing
7 of 22 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:59 AM
Ilan also used saffron in almost every challenge. I still get pissed off thinking about it. I didn't like Hung, but he was a spectacular chef and knew how to mix it up, I will grudgingly admit.
8 of 22 | Posted by VegasDarling | Posted on May 20, 2008 8:47 AM
Let me ask you a question, do you like burritos? Blais - shut the hell up and shave your head - good lord you're killing over here!
Although Twitch is an oddball, I kinda understood his "vision" almost like he was trying to give the cops something outside the norm... But he didn't really execute it well - I did love DT's comment "how bout making something that tastes good, douchetwin#1" That was awesome!
The thing with Fleasa is, regardless of whether you screwed yourself or someone else screwed you, whining about it just makes you look like one of those a-hole brats from super sweet sixteen - "my mom is trying to Ruuuuuuiiiinnn me!!"
Either way - I hope the next challenge involves some more "fine dining" instead of lunchboxes, tailgating, catering, etc.
I think that will prove Fleasa and Ass's shortcomings and hopefully they will get the boot. Then I will finally be able watch this show without flinching every time one of them has a close-up! ick!
LoLo - Awesome recap - naturally!
9 of 22 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on May 20, 2008 8:47 AM
I am so disappointed that Twitch went home before Spike and Fleasa! I didn't think he'd win it, but I sure thought he'd be in the final four, at least. I also think it's unfair that Fleasa got a pass for the whole Polish Sausage thing, but then she calls out Twitch for not using a grain. That's awful sportsmanship- even if you are competing. Karma will bite you in the ass!
This cast has an overall sucky attitude when it comes to the panel! WTF was up with all of them giving major 'tude and smart-ass remarks. I love how Tom was able to comeback with a final zinger for them each. He's awesome.
I don't see the great appeal about Sam...oh well
10 of 22 | Posted by serjen | Posted on May 20, 2008 9:51 AM
brilliant recap.
i, too was starting to grow quite fond of twitch and am bummed that his education in nutrition ass was kicked out. it's horribly stereotypical to say that cops ONLY eat shit-food and couldn't possibly like sushi. it goes hand in hand with that donut sterotype. (but that one's true so i guess my theory is flawed).
don't hate me for saying this, but i'm actually also quite fond of evangelass as well. come on, for someone to be that douchey and conniving is entertaining and mildly charming. (this lends to the reason my dating life is a horror show). just when you think he can't get any douchier, he trumps everyone and rams it home. all he needs is the snidely whiplash mustache. i gotta give the guy credit. his brand of doucheocity is way more endearing than dale's.
sam's deep voice and sensual beef could lull me to sleep any night.
11 of 22 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on May 20, 2008 11:31 AM
Is Sushi really that out of the ordinary? I don't see cops eating burritos, chicken salad, or anything that was made at the challenge in their vehicles... the reason they eat shit food is because it's easy to eat & drive at the same time. Bites of Twitch's Sushi may have actually been a decent idea, had it tasted good, I guess. I'll miss Twitch, but I assume he'll win the $10k for the favorite cheftestant.
I, for one, also do not see Sam's appeal... he was just as dirty looking as Fleasa during his season and had douchy retorts to Marcel at Whole Foods, and his little bromance with that effeminate fuck Ilan.... yuck, yuck, gag me with a spoon!
12 of 22 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on May 20, 2008 1:27 PM
Is Sushi really that out of the ordinary? I don't see cops eating burritos, chicken salad, or anything that was made at the challenge in their vehicles... the reason they eat shit food is because it's easy to eat & drive at the same time. Bites of Twitch's Sushi may have actually been a decent idea, had it tasted good, I guess. I'll miss Twitch, but I assume he'll win the $10k for the favorite cheftestant.
I, for one, also do not see Sam's appeal... he was just as dirty looking as Fleasa during his season and had douchy retorts to Marcel at Whole Foods, and his little bromance with that effeminate fuck Ilan.... yuck, yuck, gag me with a spoon!
13 of 22 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on May 20, 2008 2:01 PM
Actually, Twitch was a dick with his cocky, attitude at panel, as usual, so I wasn't too sad, but I agree with all here, would rather see fleasa or ass go . . . . but something tells me, they're not long for this, and I honestly think if Twitch had been more humble, and explained he missed the grain part in his excitement to try this challenge, they might have been more gracefull . . . call me crazy, but Ass had the most offenses by far, Chicken Salad!? What was the mayo sub? Grapes and olives--was he counting Tomato as a fruit, and then using grapes too, wouldn't tomato be better in there anyway . . . okay, so bland, boring, and douchy to the max--should have got the ax!
k37744--I'm so with you on the bad taste leading to bad relationships . . . I'm more tempted by assholes, not sure why Dale isn't making me crazy! ; )
I liked Sam on his season, but does anyone else see how once these reality stars finish they're shows, and then come back, the douche factor is double and tripled--esp with Elan, but I think Sam's got a good dose, and the chin pubes to match!!!
14 of 22 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 20, 2008 4:06 PM
tis true juddfan, by my theory i should be drooling every time dale is on the screen. i'm sure at one point or another i've dated a dude that yelled and grabbed his junk for emphasis.
ahhhh romance.
i think for me, sam's appeal is in his size. he's a big fella with a deep voice. and we're not getting kinky here either...just imagining his gigundous arms picking me up and then immediately putting me down before he folds some laundry or scrubs the floor makes my knees weak. his prick factor does seem to have grown since his season but what he lacks in sincerity he makes up for in serious lack of personality. :)
15 of 22 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on May 20, 2008 5:21 PM
Wow, what a spot-on recap! I think you covered practically everything I (didn't know) I was thinking! And everyone's comments are pretty observant, too.
Greaser has to go. What a lousy thing to do, calling Twitch out like that. And no, I do not see him doing the same thing (and as he said, he could have but didn't). Bleah!
And yeah, Evangelass was a real douche, but an endearing one at the same time... I think him and his funky little hats are growing on me. I loved that tactic of only having two of his dishes on the table at any one time. It really did make them look like they were flying off the shelves, so to speak. Clever ruse!
As for Sam, yeah, bring in ON, baby. What a hunk! But yeah, thanks slutty_whore fo reminding me how mean he was to Monkeyboy (Marcel - who I actually liked) but that was only that one time and I think the rest of the time he was a decent player.
But it's true, Sam doesn't have that much of a personality. Either that or he keeps it close to his chest. His hunky, manly chest *sigh* We could practice yoga together on a Hawaiian beach........
In closing, I do think Twitch deserved to go for making a dumb meal and for omitting a vital ingredient. As for Greasa not using Polish sausage previously, she and her partner got a legitimate bye for the "improv" theme.
16 of 22 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on May 21, 2008 4:17 AM
I have to say Greasas face scares the hell out of me when she's up on the chopping block. Bitch canNOT take it, she best be booted tonight or I may have a meltdown.
17 of 22 | Posted by Nora | Posted on May 21, 2008 12:38 PM
k37744!!! LOL!!!!
I'm loving hearing the lusty Sam thoughts here, even if I don't feel 'em--I never hesitate to share when I do, so Assholes beware, I'll be drooling fer ya, and if not I, then k37744 will!!!!
18 of 22 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 21, 2008 2:42 PM
Reference the cop-lunch comments, I'm retired from law enforcement and we ate stuff that could easily be shoved in the face while driving from one call to the next. I tried to bring healthy lunch food at times, but it was simply a no-go if you had to pull over to eat it.
Now, on to Richard. If I hear that pompous ass say one more time how f-ing "witty" he is, I will projectile vomit. Also, has anyone else noticed that every time he is describing the dishes he is making, he says, "I"m doing a little play on (insert food name here). He says it EVERY time. Annoying!
19 of 22 | Posted by deputykw | Posted on May 21, 2008 7:51 PM
deputykw - I never noticed that until you said something, you are so right!
As for Sam, I agree that he's a hottie and would love watching him scrub my floors anyday. But if I could pick any past top chef contestant to get busy with it would definatly be Harold from season one. I think I started watching the show just to see him. YUM!
Love everyone's comments!!
20 of 22 | Posted by happymomma | Posted on May 22, 2008 9:59 AM
deputykw--SO TRUE! i think richard probably has the most talent of all the chefs, but would rather see stephanie pull it out because she is neither full of herself nor obnoxious.
still pissed about that decision. fleasa is consistently in the bottom three, and yet they save her dirty ass because of a technicality. if we're going to be like that about it, technically, her dish wasn't that healthy either, and we all know it definitely wasn't delicious. SIGH.
lolo--great recap, CONGRATS on graduation, and thank you for recognizing that DT's hotness is far superior to sam's...i agree that objectively speaking, sam is attractive, but DT has that je ne sais quoi...hahaha and agreed, LOVE his comeback that his opinion is the only one that matters...CLEARLY!
21 of 22 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on May 22, 2008 11:14 AM
"When he angrily insists he wouldn't have, she decides she's going to stop arguing out of fear she's going to get punched. Or he could throw water on her, which would be much, much worse."
I can't decide if that is a reference to cleanliness or being a witch, but it had me LOL at work. Spot on!
For me, the final three was a win-win-win situation. I wouldn't have minded seeing any one of them go. Fleasa for being such an angry bitch, Twitch for being such an arrogant, psychotic nutjob (anyone else get the feeling he "puts on" that attitude or do you think he really is off his meds...me, its 50/50) and Evangelass for being such a prick...and not such a great chef. Well, none of them really have the chops to back up such arrogant attitudes.
Thanks for the fantastic recaps, LoLo. As Donna Martin pointed out, you covered pratically everything I didn't know I was thinking!
22 of 22 | Posted by marishka | Posted on June 4, 2008 7:30 AM