Back in the kitchen holding area, Fleasa's bitching about the sabotage again and the other chefs point out to Twitch that he fucked up and didn't use a whole grain -- while Fleasa tries to hold in a smirk, realizing his mistake may save her from elimination. Scar walks in and calls out Dale and Yoda to come with her. Once before the Judges' Table, Scar announces they are the top two chefs for this round. The judges love the way Dale went with bison since it's healthier than beef but yet has that same familiar texture for the cops to identify with. With Yoda, it all comes back to the s-word yet again -- seasoning -- as they felt her soup was one of the best-seasoned dishes of the bunch. We're racing through this because next thing you know, Sam announces that Dale is the winner, and will receive tickets to go to a winery in Napa Valley. I think he should take Fleasa with him. Or a chainsaw. They'd both do the same thing to his nuts.
Scar has them send back in the bottom three -- the Douche Twins and Fleasa. Well, this should be good. This has got to be the most charming, well-mannered, and respectful bunch ever assembled. That is, besides Hitler, Stalin, and Mussolini.
Starting with Twitch, Scar asks him if he really thought sushi was filling or substantial enough. He launches into a condescension-laced speech about nutrition, including the fact we're supposed to eat multiple small meals throughout the day, rather than three large, heavy meals. That is true, but Daddy Tom correctly points out that hungry cops are not going to be pulling over for more sushi when they're hungry a few hours later -- they'll be at the nearest drive through or 7-11. Ted Allen rips into Twitch next, arguing that cops don't like sushi, so why didn't Twitch make something closer to what they do like -- greasy burgers -- with a healthy twist? Twitch somewhat arrogantly explains he wanted to broaden the cops' horizons, but concedes that maybe he went too far with the sushi. Finally, Daddy Tom puts the beat down on him by asking "How about serving something that's good?" LOL.
"Healthy, gourmet AND taste good?! You guys really need to pare down your expectations."
Turning next to Evangelass, their main problem is the way he failed to use the lettuce, tomato and bread in any meaningful way -- except to screw over his competition. He claims he wasn't trying to sabotage anyone, as Fleasa shoots him dirty looks and the judges look on in varying degrees of disbelief. Daddy Tom then complains about the flavor combinations, and Evangelass gives him total attitude, saying "Salty and sweet... I mean, what don't you understand about salty and sweet?" Fleasa hilariously raises her eyebrows at him, as if she can't believe he'd dare be this rude to the judges. This coming from the chick who practically spits in their faces week after week. Somewhat insulted, Daddy Tom argues back that the olives in the chicken salad were questionable, and Evangelass is all like, "well that's your opinion, whatever." Such a little bitch. And a stupid one. DT points out that it's his opinion that matters here, which effectively shuts Evangelass up. I love how DT keeps getting in the last word.
Finally, Scar asks Fleasa why she thinks she's here. Despite being so surprised over Evangelass's bad attitude, Fleasa trots out another charming answer by saying "I mean, you guys decided to have me here. You tell me." It's not like she doesn't know her rice was a mess, so this is just her being a sucky person yet again. Daddy Tom points out the beans, shrimp, and rice were all undercooked, and Fleasa jumps in to claim sabotage with the rice (conveniently ignoring DT's other allegations). Surprised, the judges ask for clarification but ultimately conclude that even if the rice was sabotaged its irrelevant because the shrimp were so raw.
"Fuck, that sabotage card was all I had..."
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Comments (22)
I actually thought that sending Twitch home was a bad decision. Aren't good chef's supposed to open our eyes to new ways to eat and push the envelope a little? BTW: my brothers a cop and loves sushi so the comment about cops not liking sushi is way too broad a statement.
I think Evangelass should have been sent home not only for trying to screw everyone over but also for his crappy salad that didn't look appetizing at all. Come to think of it, I wouldn't have cared if he or Fleasa had gone home. Twitch was starting to grow on me.
1 of 22 | Posted by happymomma | Posted on May 20, 2008 6:32 AM
I actually kind of grew to like Twitch and was sorry to see him go. I think he definitely brought a cerain something to the show. I honestly just want Fleasa gone. I hate everything about her and she looks like she smells and has bad breath! I want Yoda or Antonia to win.
2 of 22 | Posted by yankeesfan | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:01 AM
I am SO sick of Dale's pissy attitude! Daddy Tom always says that a great chef is a great leader and Dale's constant rotten mood does not indicate superior leadership abilities.
I thought Vange should have gone home because the thought of olives with grapes made me (with my downright pedestrian palate) want to hurl. Olives are not just salty, they have a really strong flavor. Duh.
Cowardly move on Greasa's part to bring up the whole grain issue, as if the judges wouldn't notice! Her attitude is also not one indicative of a great leader.
And finally, Sam Talbot is a sexy beast. Meeee-owwww! I couldn't blame my girl Antonia as I would have turned bright red and possibly died in his presence.
3 of 22 | Posted by MissKatrina | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:31 AM
I am SO sick of Dale's pissy attitude! Daddy Tom always says that a great chef is a great leader and Dale's constant rotten mood does not indicate superior leadership abilities.
I thought Vange should have gone home because the thought of olives with grapes made me (with my downright pedestrian palate) want to hurl. Olives are not just salty, they have a really strong flavor. Duh.
Cowardly move on Greasa's part to bring up the whole grain issue, as if the judges wouldn't notice! Her attitude is also not one indicative of a great leader.
And finally, Sam Talbot is a sexy beast. Meeee-owwww! I couldn't blame my girl Antonia as I would have turned bright red and possibly died in his presence.
4 of 22 | Posted by MissKatrina | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:44 AM
Awww.... I'm gonna miss Twitch. And he's done much, much better than Fleasa or Evangelass.
Interestingly they send Twitch home for not paying attention to the rules, yet Fleasa got another chance for dissing Polish sausage.
I wanted to see Twitch in the final four with Yoda, Mommy, and the Hair Raiser.
5 of 22 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:54 AM
Awww, I'm gonna miss Twitch.
Interestingly, they sent Twitch home for not obeying the rules, yet Fleasa got to stay for not using Polish sausage.
And he's done much, much better than Fleasa and Evangelass overall.
I wanted to see Twitch in the final four with Yoda, Mommy, and the Hair Raiser.
6 of 22 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:58 AM
Testing, testing
7 of 22 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on May 20, 2008 7:59 AM
Ilan also used saffron in almost every challenge. I still get pissed off thinking about it. I didn't like Hung, but he was a spectacular chef and knew how to mix it up, I will grudgingly admit.
8 of 22 | Posted by VegasDarling | Posted on May 20, 2008 8:47 AM
Let me ask you a question, do you like burritos? Blais - shut the hell up and shave your head - good lord you're killing over here!
Although Twitch is an oddball, I kinda understood his "vision" almost like he was trying to give the cops something outside the norm... But he didn't really execute it well - I did love DT's comment "how bout making something that tastes good, douchetwin#1" That was awesome!
The thing with Fleasa is, regardless of whether you screwed yourself or someone else screwed you, whining about it just makes you look like one of those a-hole brats from super sweet sixteen - "my mom is trying to Ruuuuuuiiiinnn me!!"
Either way - I hope the next challenge involves some more "fine dining" instead of lunchboxes, tailgating, catering, etc.
I think that will prove Fleasa and Ass's shortcomings and hopefully they will get the boot. Then I will finally be able watch this show without flinching every time one of them has a close-up! ick!
LoLo - Awesome recap - naturally!
9 of 22 | Posted by carmelicious | Posted on May 20, 2008 8:47 AM
I am so disappointed that Twitch went home before Spike and Fleasa! I didn't think he'd win it, but I sure thought he'd be in the final four, at least. I also think it's unfair that Fleasa got a pass for the whole Polish Sausage thing, but then she calls out Twitch for not using a grain. That's awful sportsmanship- even if you are competing. Karma will bite you in the ass!
This cast has an overall sucky attitude when it comes to the panel! WTF was up with all of them giving major 'tude and smart-ass remarks. I love how Tom was able to comeback with a final zinger for them each. He's awesome.
I don't see the great appeal about Sam...oh well
10 of 22 | Posted by serjen | Posted on May 20, 2008 9:51 AM
brilliant recap.
i, too was starting to grow quite fond of twitch and am bummed that his education in nutrition ass was kicked out. it's horribly stereotypical to say that cops ONLY eat shit-food and couldn't possibly like sushi. it goes hand in hand with that donut sterotype. (but that one's true so i guess my theory is flawed).
don't hate me for saying this, but i'm actually also quite fond of evangelass as well. come on, for someone to be that douchey and conniving is entertaining and mildly charming. (this lends to the reason my dating life is a horror show). just when you think he can't get any douchier, he trumps everyone and rams it home. all he needs is the snidely whiplash mustache. i gotta give the guy credit. his brand of doucheocity is way more endearing than dale's.
sam's deep voice and sensual beef could lull me to sleep any night.
11 of 22 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on May 20, 2008 11:31 AM
Is Sushi really that out of the ordinary? I don't see cops eating burritos, chicken salad, or anything that was made at the challenge in their vehicles... the reason they eat shit food is because it's easy to eat & drive at the same time. Bites of Twitch's Sushi may have actually been a decent idea, had it tasted good, I guess. I'll miss Twitch, but I assume he'll win the $10k for the favorite cheftestant.
I, for one, also do not see Sam's appeal... he was just as dirty looking as Fleasa during his season and had douchy retorts to Marcel at Whole Foods, and his little bromance with that effeminate fuck Ilan.... yuck, yuck, gag me with a spoon!
12 of 22 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on May 20, 2008 1:27 PM
Is Sushi really that out of the ordinary? I don't see cops eating burritos, chicken salad, or anything that was made at the challenge in their vehicles... the reason they eat shit food is because it's easy to eat & drive at the same time. Bites of Twitch's Sushi may have actually been a decent idea, had it tasted good, I guess. I'll miss Twitch, but I assume he'll win the $10k for the favorite cheftestant.
I, for one, also do not see Sam's appeal... he was just as dirty looking as Fleasa during his season and had douchy retorts to Marcel at Whole Foods, and his little bromance with that effeminate fuck Ilan.... yuck, yuck, gag me with a spoon!
13 of 22 | Posted by slutty_whore | Posted on May 20, 2008 2:01 PM
Actually, Twitch was a dick with his cocky, attitude at panel, as usual, so I wasn't too sad, but I agree with all here, would rather see fleasa or ass go . . . . but something tells me, they're not long for this, and I honestly think if Twitch had been more humble, and explained he missed the grain part in his excitement to try this challenge, they might have been more gracefull . . . call me crazy, but Ass had the most offenses by far, Chicken Salad!? What was the mayo sub? Grapes and olives--was he counting Tomato as a fruit, and then using grapes too, wouldn't tomato be better in there anyway . . . okay, so bland, boring, and douchy to the max--should have got the ax!
k37744--I'm so with you on the bad taste leading to bad relationships . . . I'm more tempted by assholes, not sure why Dale isn't making me crazy! ; )
I liked Sam on his season, but does anyone else see how once these reality stars finish they're shows, and then come back, the douche factor is double and tripled--esp with Elan, but I think Sam's got a good dose, and the chin pubes to match!!!
14 of 22 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 20, 2008 4:06 PM
tis true juddfan, by my theory i should be drooling every time dale is on the screen. i'm sure at one point or another i've dated a dude that yelled and grabbed his junk for emphasis.
ahhhh romance.
i think for me, sam's appeal is in his size. he's a big fella with a deep voice. and we're not getting kinky here either...just imagining his gigundous arms picking me up and then immediately putting me down before he folds some laundry or scrubs the floor makes my knees weak. his prick factor does seem to have grown since his season but what he lacks in sincerity he makes up for in serious lack of personality. :)
15 of 22 | Posted by k37744 | Posted on May 20, 2008 5:21 PM
Wow, what a spot-on recap! I think you covered practically everything I (didn't know) I was thinking! And everyone's comments are pretty observant, too.
Greaser has to go. What a lousy thing to do, calling Twitch out like that. And no, I do not see him doing the same thing (and as he said, he could have but didn't). Bleah!
And yeah, Evangelass was a real douche, but an endearing one at the same time... I think him and his funky little hats are growing on me. I loved that tactic of only having two of his dishes on the table at any one time. It really did make them look like they were flying off the shelves, so to speak. Clever ruse!
As for Sam, yeah, bring in ON, baby. What a hunk! But yeah, thanks slutty_whore fo reminding me how mean he was to Monkeyboy (Marcel - who I actually liked) but that was only that one time and I think the rest of the time he was a decent player.
But it's true, Sam doesn't have that much of a personality. Either that or he keeps it close to his chest. His hunky, manly chest *sigh* We could practice yoga together on a Hawaiian beach........
In closing, I do think Twitch deserved to go for making a dumb meal and for omitting a vital ingredient. As for Greasa not using Polish sausage previously, she and her partner got a legitimate bye for the "improv" theme.
16 of 22 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on May 21, 2008 4:17 AM
I have to say Greasas face scares the hell out of me when she's up on the chopping block. Bitch canNOT take it, she best be booted tonight or I may have a meltdown.
17 of 22 | Posted by Nora | Posted on May 21, 2008 12:38 PM
k37744!!! LOL!!!!
I'm loving hearing the lusty Sam thoughts here, even if I don't feel 'em--I never hesitate to share when I do, so Assholes beware, I'll be drooling fer ya, and if not I, then k37744 will!!!!
18 of 22 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 21, 2008 2:42 PM
Reference the cop-lunch comments, I'm retired from law enforcement and we ate stuff that could easily be shoved in the face while driving from one call to the next. I tried to bring healthy lunch food at times, but it was simply a no-go if you had to pull over to eat it.
Now, on to Richard. If I hear that pompous ass say one more time how f-ing "witty" he is, I will projectile vomit. Also, has anyone else noticed that every time he is describing the dishes he is making, he says, "I"m doing a little play on (insert food name here). He says it EVERY time. Annoying!
19 of 22 | Posted by deputykw | Posted on May 21, 2008 7:51 PM
deputykw - I never noticed that until you said something, you are so right!
As for Sam, I agree that he's a hottie and would love watching him scrub my floors anyday. But if I could pick any past top chef contestant to get busy with it would definatly be Harold from season one. I think I started watching the show just to see him. YUM!
Love everyone's comments!!
20 of 22 | Posted by happymomma | Posted on May 22, 2008 9:59 AM
deputykw--SO TRUE! i think richard probably has the most talent of all the chefs, but would rather see stephanie pull it out because she is neither full of herself nor obnoxious.
still pissed about that decision. fleasa is consistently in the bottom three, and yet they save her dirty ass because of a technicality. if we're going to be like that about it, technically, her dish wasn't that healthy either, and we all know it definitely wasn't delicious. SIGH.
lolo--great recap, CONGRATS on graduation, and thank you for recognizing that DT's hotness is far superior to sam's...i agree that objectively speaking, sam is attractive, but DT has that je ne sais quoi...hahaha and agreed, LOVE his comeback that his opinion is the only one that matters...CLEARLY!
21 of 22 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on May 22, 2008 11:14 AM
"When he angrily insists he wouldn't have, she decides she's going to stop arguing out of fear she's going to get punched. Or he could throw water on her, which would be much, much worse."
I can't decide if that is a reference to cleanliness or being a witch, but it had me LOL at work. Spot on!
For me, the final three was a win-win-win situation. I wouldn't have minded seeing any one of them go. Fleasa for being such an angry bitch, Twitch for being such an arrogant, psychotic nutjob (anyone else get the feeling he "puts on" that attitude or do you think he really is off his meds...me, its 50/50) and Evangelass for being such a prick...and not such a great chef. Well, none of them really have the chops to back up such arrogant attitudes.
Thanks for the fantastic recaps, LoLo. As Donna Martin pointed out, you covered pratically everything I didn't know I was thinking!
22 of 22 | Posted by marishka | Posted on June 4, 2008 7:30 AM