"Alright which cow told you those things were cute? Slaughter the bastard.

Wow, that was quick."

BEST. SCREENCAPS. EVER!

I was gonna spew all over my keyboard. OMG, that was great.

And MALARKY!!! I'm surprised he didn't try to serve a seafood dish w/his Diet Dr. Pepper.

Toby's okay, so far. But he's no Bourdain and he should stop trying to be one. But having consecutive weeks of this guy might be hard. I'd prefer Gail to come in and break his appearances up (or better yet, Ted, but we know that's not gonna happen - damn Food Network).

And maybe now Jamie will stop whinning about being a bridesmaid. You don't see Jeff-Dr. Chase complaining about always being the groomsman, do you?

Oops forgot - sounds like the ego romance is over next week.

I've never logged in to leave a comment before, but I had to. This was HYSTERICAL.
Jean Valjean.
I love reading your recaps! Keep it up!

Flipit - great recap!

When I read "I may not be able to wow you, but I can scare the crap out of you" with Carla's picture, I laughed out loud (which I don't do very often). Kudos for that!

Diet Dr. Pepper always makes me smile - me and the BF go through a couple of two-litres of it daily (ok, sometimes more than that!). I loves me some DDP!

Your clip on Hung's mom singing "Gonna wash that man right outta my hair" could ONLY be surpassed if it was performed by Wing. If she can do such justice to AC/DC songs, she should be able to soar (pun intended) with show tunes.

Love your work! Love the site! Love the snark most of all!!! You have some very talented recappers on here (and yes, you are one of them) and it's a great way to keep up with shows, or to see them in a new light.

Keep it up! All the best for 2009!

Flipit again great recap. That clip of beaker killed me.

I am glad the turtle won this week so we can stop hearing her complain, but the poor girl didn't even get a prize out of it. No cookbook, nothing.

I have to state for the record that it was a regular Dr. Pepper that Girl Prison was drinking in that screenshot. GP doesn't do that pansy ass diet shit, alright?

Great recap, Flipit, but I am so sad to see my boy/girl GP leave. Then again, if it wasn't him going then it would be Beaker and I love her too. Too bad they just couldn't send Farm Girl home twice and keep both of them. Now I have to figure out who will be my new favorite.

what do people think about the caliber of the chefs on this season? how do they compare to the other chefs for the other seasons? equal, same or better? who was you most favorite chef from all the seasons?

i feel like the chefs on this season are just not that talented and i feel like bravo is doing what it did with project runway this year. just giving us so-so talent and not really looking for the cream of the crop. no season will be as good as season one when howard won. but i feel as if the chefs are just doing down hill.

reckless, I do agree for the most part that PR & TC, the talent isn't up there.

With the exceptions of Leanne & Jerrell (who is majorly talented, but needs training) of PR; and Stefan, Leah, Jeff & maybe Jamie on TC.

Maybe they could bring Cliff & Tre back since they went out on bad notes (and Tre's was a terrible misjustice). And then we'd at least have some massive guns going on.

Awesome recap, as always from the Master of TVgasm.... Thank you for the Beaker video clip too! I laughed my butt off. :)

I like Stefan-even though he is a bit assholish. His food always looks & sounds good. Glad Beaker got to stay, but was a little sad for Eugene.

I never understood how Farm Girl made it on the show to begin with. They always do seem to include several no-personality, no-talent contestants for balance? I'm sure cute little Patrick or Lauren are pissed that Melissa made it this far and they were gone almost immediately.

Fab recap as always. The screen captions and videos made my wintery grey day.

I haven't seen any evidence that Toby knows much about food. He just repeated what other people said, only more obnoxiously, as you said, Flip.

I think Gail is taking time off for her wedding/honeymoon.

Did they give a prize for the Quickfire challenge? A case of Diet Dr. Pepper? What happened to the prizes getting better when there are fewer chefs?

I'm afraid that Beaker will be going home next week. So sad. Unless she's the big surprise that makes it to the finals.

The quickfire prize was the best one: immunity.

"GAAAAILL! GAAAAA-ILLL!!!"
And just like that Beaker vaults into "Bravo's All-Stars", "Top Ten Cutaways" division. Beaker needs to stay around until the end, and if she doesn't, I hope they at least allow her to pop onto the set crying "Hootie-Hoo" at regular intervals.

I agree with reckless; these chefs don't feel inspired and they kind of bum me out. One of these days they're all going to make a scallop sorbet, plop it on some undercooked lamb and sum up the whole season.

Patrick and Lauren and HoneyBear would have at least kept some personality on the show.

Thanks Flipit! Please don't dare talk on a sidekick until after the finale.

"I haven't seen any evidence that Toby knows much about food."

You may want to do some research on him and you would know why Fabio was afraid of him.

h t t p://www. tobyyoung. co.uk /restaurant_reviews/ 3/list. html even has a Q and A with him about Top Chef

The man won an amateur cooking competition that was televised he was also a judge on the UK version of Hell's Kitchen. He is a famous restaurant critic.

AAAAAUUUGGHHH! I was so PESSED when Turtle won this one with her 8,734th variation on Lesbian Scallops™! I would have rather had Euro-Trash win it than her no-neck, stinky-T-shirt frowny-faced ass, but I guess maybe it'll shut her up about how much she deserves to win.

I thought Daddy Tom's face when Toby Young was making his elaborate slams against the food was priceless, it seems like he doesn't care much for the man (maybe there can only be one bald guy on the judging panel!). I'm all for a bitchy snarky comment from time to time, but some of his insults were just overkill.

I'm not sorry to see GP go, how many times can you completely bone the shit out of a challenge and insist that you belong there because you're thinking outside the box? Yes, nobody would think to serve pureéd peas deep fried in canola oil, rolled in flax seed, topped with limburger cheese and drizzled with caramel, but there's a REASON for that, because it would taste like monkeyshit!

Praise Jesus that Beaker stayed, because I would have cried for hours if they had sent her home over Girl Prisoner or Farm Girl Helga Bataki... I live for her bug-fuckin'-eyes!

Awesome job as always, Flipit, I love you forever as much as my own Daddy Tom...

love, J-Mo :)

" it seems like he doesn't care much for the man "

Well Toby doesn't use terms to describe food like a professional chef would but the common everyday joe. Toby admits he critiques from how the food tastes not from how it was prepared or looks.

Hence why Toby liked Jeff's plate of appetiziers. So Tom who critiques from the professional chef point of view was angry about Toby for doing that.

Also professional chefs have a huge love/hate relationship often bordering on murderous in it's intensity with restaurant critics.

"Praise Jesus that Beaker stayed"

Even Toby likes her even though he says she isn't down to Earth like the other chefs but from outer space.

Ilan, from Season 2, won by cooking Spanish each week, so it stands to reason that someone can win from making scallops every week. I don't see anything wrong with sticking with what you know, since the challenges have such limiting constraints on them (except this one), that it's better to be SURE you can cook something well than to "go outside the box" and be sent home. I can't say I'll miss Bangs McGee, but I would have preferred plucky Patrick way more (even if it's just for eye candy).

And, for the poster who asked if the chefs got worse and worse, the answer is an unequivocal HELL YES! If you look at Season 1, you had Howard, LeAnn, Tiffani, etc. Now, that the show has a level of popularity, they are going more for drama than for actual skill.

I mean, no one believes that Carla or Ariane or any of the remaining cast (save for Stefan) could seriously be thought of as a Top Chef. Whereas, Season 1, everyone accept the sommelier could have been.

Flipit, Happy New Year, great recap. Love you! :-)

Flipit, once again stellar job on the recap and screencaps! I look foward to your recaps more than the actual show.
Count me among those who are uber happy that Beaker is still with us - I love her attitude and her spirit guides.
Farm Girl - most pathetic speech ever, going on and on about how much more she has to show the judges- same speech she gave after the TV challenge. Ummmm, just WHEN did you plan to break out the A game, girl?
I liked GP's style and will miss him but did not think he had what it took to go all the way.
I hope that Toby begins to critique seriously, and stops going for the soundbites.
Reckless - agree with you the level of talent just ain't there. When you screw up cooking rice, cooking lamb - the basic stuff - it really shows that this crowd is more hit-or-miss than previous seasons.
Big hugs to you Flip for the laughs!

Great re-cap. Your screen caps are the best.

Not to be picky, but season one's winner was named Harold, not Howard. By far one of the best chef's this show has had and also, IMHO, the hottest.

I agree with hutchlover, we need more Bourdain on this show. His comments are a great combination of food knowhow and snarkyness that actually make sense and are not repeats of everyone elses comments.

"Now, that the show has a level of popularity, they are going more for drama than for actual skill."

Well you can blame the casting people for that. When asked prior to the show the judges would say they had an excellent selection of people and on paper it would look good. Sadly they don't boot every applicant through a cooking boot camp to weed out the fakers, flakes, liars etc.

Tens of thousands of applicants the great ones are going to be overlooked.

"Ilan, from Season 2, won by cooking Spanish each week"

Something he was dissed for by the viewers and should have been kicked out. It's one of the complaints about Top Chef they don't look at overall performance instead each meal is considered seperate in how to judge cooking ability rather then overall. An excellent chef could have one failure out of a hundred for example.

Tre and the Season One guy who popularized "I'am not your bitch, bitch!" were a lot better then most of their fellows overall.

"that actually make sense "

Toby's made sense especially if you looked at it from the everyman perspective ala Homer Simpson also one episode isn't the best way to determine how good a judge is. The man was asked to be on for a reason he has judged several cooking competitions that were televised.

Nobody's giving love to my man Fabio. He was cracking me up!

Is it just me or does Jamie seem a little on the narcisitic side? I was annoyed that she won.

Please, bring on Bourdain over that new a-hole judge.

Ok I've been lurking a while, but I must say...While there is a slight resemblance to beaker, I think Carla looks way more like Sideshow Bob (Krusty the clown's homocidal cousin/brither/whatever).

That is why I am truly afraid of her, no mater what she cooks...

Brilliant recap, Flip -- downright hilarious screencaps!

BTW - if you ever see skate wing on a menu, I strenuously recommend you try it. It's actually a member of the manta ray family and, when cooked nicely, is exceptionally tender, flaky and delicious. Palate resto in Glendale, CA, was recently serving it.

Glad Beaker is still with us, but I will miss Boy/Girl Prison.

I still reckon it's going to be a showdown btw Fabio, he of the charmingly mangled English, and Stefan, the faux Frenchman, tho Scariane and the little Indian chick are still holding their own.

TEAM EUROS DUDES for Top Scaylope!

Off topic.... ArizonaTom, much love to you, but the Cardinals will be going down (and not in the good way) on Sunday against the Eagles.

I say this every week when she comes on the screen but Jamie is kind of a dick. (Or a-hole). I'm kind of glad she didn't win anything for her 80th version on "Scaylops"! Hopefully Tony won't be making cheezy analogies every week either. He'll start to sound like Bruno whatshisface from DWTS.

I rarely watch this show since the second season debacle (and cover-up) with Marcel, but this new judge is lame. Really, his WMD quip might have been funny five years ago (maybe), but it was just lame.

Have the producers run out of cheftestant candidates? This season's group doesn't seem very good...

"Have the producers run out of cheftestant candidates? This season's group doesn't seem very good..."

Nah it's the problem any show has when they get tens of thousands of people wanting to get on. It's especially bothersome in reality tv shows where you get people who aren't chefs for example clogging it up because they have no idea what the show is about nor have they even seen it.

OMG!!! Now I'm glad it took me a while to get to this, f'in hysterical recap, and the comments also got me howling!!! I'm feeling the beaker love here, I hope she get's a show, but since she's not soooo serious, maybe not. and Toby, well, I'd probably hit it, but his analogies were awkward, and he mentioned Tommy Girl in a favorable way, no bueno!

Holy monkey, that was an awesome recap. Having just heard about this site, I’ve checked it every day compulsively like stalker Leah. Scari is the most horrible person to ever be on this show, and I still can’t believe she won a challenge with a tomato. Somebody needs to tell her that 1) 1990 called and wants everything back and 2) despite her lifelong dream, she has never been and will never be a MILF. I bet she sells Southern Living on the side. Anyway, the recap that showed Prettyish racing through the kitchen made me pee my pants, and I now want him to win. Does anyone else think he looks a skootch like Chase on “House” only not quite as hot? I’d still do him.

Keep up the good work – these recaps rock my world.

I laughed my ass off when I read that Girl Prison was inspired when the waiter threw daicon and spaghetti into the trash. I literally had tears rolling down my cheeks.

That midget limey sounds like he stole a page from Mr. Blackwell's worst dressed list to describe the dishes.