I read on Daddy Tom's blog that it was obvious when they were tasting the food that Bitter Jen was going home. He said both dishes were way too salty, especially the vegetarian one. But it was still sad to see her go. :(

But I was super excited that Big Volt won, and also happy that Dirty Bear made it to the finals. I did a double take when I saw how young he is (26). Imagine how great he'll be in ten and twenty years.

Haven't finished the recap yet, but I wanted to pause my enjoyment to give a PSA. Brix is the way a winemaker measures the amount of sugar in a grape. A certain grape or juice will have will be 26 brix. Sorry I used to work in a winery. But I also think that she could have named her restaurant Brix after the shape of her body.

Glad to see Jen rebounded and did fairly well. I really doubted she'd make it to the end. But, she's got a right be be proud. Tom's blog said her 2nd dish was too salty, but Gail said it was bland. Whatevs. I always thought the correct pronounciation of 'foie gras' was 'fwa gras.' L'il Douche says 'foy gras.' What do I know...Chester Cheetah is my lunch buddy. I'd love to see a Dirty Bear win and I'll prolly be on the live Twittercast tonight. Tewwible Toby will be tweeting. I realllllly hope L'il Douche doesn't win the whole shebang!
Thanks for a HI-sterical season of recaps J-Mo!!!

One awesome thing about TV Gasm is that while I was sprawled on the sofa, eating chips and watching this show, I know that I was NOT ALONE in screaming NOOOOOOOOOOOO at the top of my lungs when Smirky McSmirkerson Skeeverallo appeared on my screen. In fact, I believe that my NOOOO headed west from NJ and J-Mo's NOOOO headed east collided somewhere over Missouri. Ugh - serious dislike.

J-Mo, the story about the decorations really had me laughing- especially your description of semi-butch tasks. Do you sing "Walking 'round in women's underwear"? That's one of my fav holiday butcherings.

Great recap, as always. Too many really good funnies to repeat here. I feel badly for Jen going home - would have loved to see Lil' Shit crash and burn but it was not to be. Actually, these 3 really are the top chefs of the season, so it will be an awesome finale. DB for the win! If they bring back past cheftestants to assist (Casey, are you reading this? ASSIST, not bury), I wonder if 80's Hooker will reappear? If so, whoever draws her will lose is my prediction....

Well, all I want for Christmas is more J-Mo recaps. Oh wait, and the Gretchen Rossi plug in vibrator.

Wishing you all happy happy holidays - with extra big hugs for J-Mo! xoxoxox

Am I the only one that thinks eggs should not be considered a vegetarian dish?

@firecrackered
I believe that Ovo-Lacto vegetarians eat eggs and dairy products. Vegans do not eat any animal products, but they did not specify it had to be Vegan.

Vegetarian has always included eggs and dairy by definition. That's the whole reason for the separate classification for Vegan.

"Vegetarian has always included eggs and dairy by definition."

American vegetrianism perhaps. There are vegeterians who eat chicken. They should just say they don't want to eat various red meats.

Many asian vegeterian meals don't use eggs or diary and even certain plants (such as root vegetables as well as spices like garlic) are off limits if the meals are religious in nature from what I recall.

Sorry to be a parrot repeating myself, but Daddy Tom's blog addressed this as well. He said that Lil Volt asked permission to use eggs and was given the clearance to. But in my mind it's kind of cheating. Was he not confident enough to make a vegetarian dish without them?

I met Smirky the night before his episode aired, at one of his NapaStyle stores. They were doing wine tastings, so I had to go in. I got a pic taken with him, he was more than happy to grab my waist and practically had me sitting on his lap. My roommate took a pic after, and immediately said that he had a little groping action on her too. Not surprising to me at all that he's a bit pervy...

An old high school friend of mine seemd to be at the same event, Malbec...and she has her photo with him as her profile pic on Facebook.

Can't wait for the finale tonight, but I'm gonna be sad to say goodbye. This is my first season watching in real time. How often do seasons come out?

I just wanted to say that despite our differing views on Lil Volt (for some odd reason, he totally gives me girl-wood, probably BECAUSE he's kind-of an a$$hole), I adore your recaps and laugh hysterically the whole way through them.

I think the best 3 chefs of all of the seasons are competing this time, so it should be a good finale. I *heart* Big Volt too, so I hope he pulls out the win. Despite my lust for Lil Volt, I do think he needs to be a little nicer to his bro. I have two brothers close in age, and although they are pretty competitive, they are also very supportive of one another. Me thinks Lil Volt might have thought Mommy liked Brian more or something...

(Which also makes me want to hug him. With my crotch.)

P.S. - I also think he totally banged Jen!! Maybe someone will bring it up at the reunion.

Finale over on the East Coast.

*headdesk*

Oh no!!! I'm at work and have not watched the finale, but by the above comments from 2muchBravo, I'm afraid I don't want to see it :(

So, what I was going to comment before seeing those was that I'm rooting for a DB win, but would be totally satisfied with a Big Volt win...

Also, now that Top Chef is nearly over, recap-wise, where will I get my J-Mo fix????

Egad, I hurt all over. I could go into details - but who needs them? It just doesn't help that I have nausea and my meds are oral. Tried to eat something made me more nauseous. Yay me. :(

Anywho, it bears repeating-great work J-Mo.

I looked at the rerun and the final in a drugged up haze (meds finally kicked in).

Sorry to see Bitter Jen leave but was not surprised. Drove me crazy that judges' judging seem inconsistent. Is it too salty or bland? Wahh? Maybe it's just me under the influence.

Oh yeah I totally think Bitter Jen and L'il Volt are on the down low. I thought earlier they'd make a good couple but now I'm not sure. I thought Bitter Jen was a "I am woman I am strong" type. But I think if she's with someone she's like, "I gotta boyfriend! Weeeeee!".
But to keep L'il Volt on his toes she's gotta be you know kinda elusive. I think the more gooey she gets the more withdrawn he'd be.

Oh man I'm babbling. The meds are kicking in again. Take care all. :)

I have much two cents to throw in about this show other than just making a comment about how I know everything and had to ruin J-Mo's attempt a joke by stopping into inform about what a brix really is.

But I think that I am just going to hold off until the recap about the final. I watched the final and it was not a happy day. I just want to make a comment how this was the first Top Chef were it was completely clear who was going to be within the first couple of episodes. I think it took a few shows for people to realize that Kevin would be in the final. I think that he had to distance himself from Eli before people realized he was a good chef, but it might started before that.

But almost all of knew that it was going to be the two Volts and Jen by the second episode. And then Kevin made himself known and after that there really weren't any dark horses. Once we saw these chefs skills and their wealth of cooking knowledge we knew that none of the other chefs had the chops to compete with the Fab Four.

What chefs from season prior to this one could compete against these guys? I feel that Top Chef did this an effort to get back some legitimacy after some these last seasons. Seasons filled with tons of reality show antics, douche bags, and just awful cooking. Don't get me wrong I enjoy a little bit of personality in my Top Chef. But they lose some of their reputation as a top cooking contest when cooks like Leah are being pushed through week after week because she is hooking up toilet brush face, Hosea. And then give toilet brush face the win because he hooked viewers in being some what entertaining to a section of the audience and disgusted the other half.

Okay well so much for waiting for the recap of the final to make a comment. Oh I will still make a comment. I have just begun to comment.

Sorry I am very drugged at the moment and I have been in bed for quite some time recovering from surgery. And I am so bored right, so writing long ass comments on various message boards is providing too much entertainment for me to stop.

Maybe that is what reality show producers will try next with their reality shows. I am talking about a day dream here, but once reality shows start handing out drugs to make their shows shows that are just a little more on the boring side like this seasons Top Chef. A show that was a little lacking in the perfect mixture of drama, douche bags, whores and the one nice guy/girl.

If they just gave us viewers a tiny amount of drugs before watching the show. It could change tv. Instead of just constantly casting douche bags, greedy clown whore housewives, over gelled guidos from new jersey, families with 17 kids who just adopted 14 little people from Canada, and just the dregs of the human gene pool that cause normal, intelligent people to worry about the future of humanity.

They can cast some what normal examples of human beings who have some emotional intelligence, an understanding of right and wrong, a bit of morality, but who are funny and down to earth. People that, dare I say it,that are witty, self aware, ironic and humorous. People that don't always have to use body noises, jokes about screwing a fat girl, and jokes about the toilet to be funny.

Instead of rewarding people that demonstrate a complete lack of respect of another human beings and who are just greedy fame whores. The reality shows could give shows to decent people that aren't an embarrassment. Decent people that show other cultures that all Americans are not hard drinkers, sex addicts, women who own clown vaginas, bible freaks, whose goal in life is to become a z list reality "star" with a facebook fan page.

Oh my god. The drugs have taken over. Now I understand why my pot head friends have so many theories about everything. Drugs cause you to ramble, m'kay.

Now I realize that I missed a few keywords in my comment causing much of my comment to make no sense. I am not saying that was the only reason, but one of the reasons why it didn't make much sense. But basically I was trying to say that drugs would make the more boring shows interesting. And I am sure that most of you got that, but since I failed to use the word interesting it didn't make much sense to me. I will stop now it is the drugs are beginning to show- surgery is fun!

Oh J-Mo, I will miss you after you recap last night's ep!! You always crack me up! Make Flipit give you a raise. :)

And just one comment on this particular episode - there were lots of great recap-able moments, but I cried from laughing at Scar's "party" dress, knowing that was gonna make it here.

I alternated between giggling and saying "What the fuck is _that!_"

Thanks for the recaps this season, J-Mo! You're the bestest!

J-Mo, I'm so sad to see this season come to a close; no more J-Mo recaps :( (of THIS show at least, right? RIGHT???)

I was sad to see Jen go - I was really hoping to see her rev up at the end and at least knock Lil Volt out of the running. And, yes, I'm climbing aboard the "they totally boinked" train.

Sorry about your chest hair - putting the lights up is my LEAST favorite part of decorating. I'm adding that to the ever growing list of things my son will be in charge of when he's older. Is five to young to be in charge of lights??

Can't wait to see your take on the finale!

SWAK, PottyMouth

Love you J-mo, and I'm with the rest, will miss you terribly!!! Hope you cap something we all are watching!!!

XOXOXOXOXXO

"I still have those mix tapes, too. And there's a lot of SWV and En Vogue and TLC and Brownstone and Jade and Toni Braxton on them."

I want your mix tapes!!