Daddy Tom decides to make an appearance at 7:30 am, after a good night's sleep. He better be careful or someone may just punch him in the face for it (coughDalecough). He stops by Team Bride first to taunt them a bit and see what they've been up to. An exhausted Richard explains their menu with a slack-jawed stare and drool at the corner of his mouth, but Daddy Tom seems comfortable with what they're doing and moves on with a warning not to fuck up as bad as Stephen & Co. on season 1. Yoda says she won't have any eggshells in the cake, but when it comes to the Han Solo action figures, she's not making any promises. Turning to Team Groom, Daddy Tom amusedly looks at Fleasa's sad, ugly little cake and asks them about their Italian theme while Nikki awkwardly tries to shift the responsibility off her shoulders. This group definitely gets a colder reception than DT gave Team Bride, and he warns them not to dumb-down their menu too much. DT, I'd be more worried about being served raw food than whether it's wedding-appropriate if I were you.
Richard tries to impress Daddy Tom with his impression of Corky from 'Life Goes On.'
Daddy Tom leaves the kitchen to give us his assessment. He thinks Team Groom has an advantage by cooking Italian food, given that it's a crowd pleaser. As for their cake, DT acknowledges the groom requested a simple cake but hilariously adds "Well I hope he didn't say ugly, because that's kinda what we have... it looks like a battleship of some sort." LOL. As for Team Bride, he knows they're the stronger team, but is worried their comfort food could be a disaster, given that it all hinges on the S-word... seasoning.
With that, the chefs head over to the wedding. The future McBlands both look great, as we see the bride head down the aisle, wearing a beautiful strapless gown. Guess you can splurge on the dress when you save $10,000 on catering bills by whoring yourself out. With 30 minutes left before service, the chefs are bustling around the kitchen when Scar comes in to announce the judges -- herself, Daddy Tom, Gail, and Gale Gand, executive pastry chef (okay that's just cruel)/co-owner of Tru, which is only a few blocks away from my place and is supposed to be excellent. Yoda, realizing that Gale is big-time pasty chef, pees her pants a little as she ices and decorates Team Bride's cake (which looks a million times better than the stack of pan-shaped rectangles Team Groom is serving).
Time's up, and the waiters arrive as we learn a bit too much about the future of the McBlands -- overhearing the bride talking about how she used to wish the groom loved her the way she loves him, until one day he suddenly did. AKA the day he realized he's getting a bald spot and a beer gut and needs to lock her in before his appearance completely goes to hell. The chefs begin sending out their appetizers, and the guests love Team Bride's short ribs, pulled pork sandwiches (even though they're messy), and pizza. As for Team Groom, while the flatbread is well-received, the bread in the bruschetta is too thick and hard, causing the toppings to drop all over the guests like pigeon poop.
"Oh fuck, did I just chip my veneers?"
Moving inside a large tent for the dinner service, the McBlands are officially announced, with the bride wearing a totally different gown than before. How much free shit exactly did these people get? Buffet service begins, with Antonia and Richard working the table for Team Bride, Twitch staying in the kitchen (good call on not needlessly scaring the guests), and Yoda running in between. Once they grab their plates, the judges begin chowing down, complimenting Team Bride on both the brisket and the filet mignon, while criticizing Twitch's crispy chicken (that Antonia had told us she thought was a bad idea when he first suggested it -- way to be strong).
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Comments (11)
LoLo, your recaps make the show 1000% better. As for Fleasa, I prefer to call her Greasa, but that's just me. Dale needs to stop acting like a bitch. He's too good a chef to let it get overshadowed by his shitty personality.
1 of 11 | Posted by scoutf | Posted on May 9, 2008 6:27 AM
Great recap. I am working trying to hold in the laughter!
I think Dale needs a nickname, too. If Twitch is on crack (he's actually ADHD I think), then Dale should be on Prozac.
2 of 11 | Posted by hutchlover | Posted on May 9, 2008 10:00 AM
haha great recap...i kept wanting to call them "team mcbride" and "team mcgroom."
FINALLY they tell nikki to get the fuck out...my boyfriend and i both screamed YES at precisely that moment.
also, interesting how evangelass and dale kissed and made up after they both realized neither of them got booted...perhaps the fighting was really just bromantic tension a-brewing.
3 of 11 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on May 9, 2008 11:50 AM
mrsdaddytom, can I borrow your husband for a little while, I promise I'll give him back!
Dale needs serious anger management lessons, and I think the judges and producers should have said something when he slammed the locker . . . over a QF . . . and the only advantage was to avoid the bride's choices, which they got to do anyway . . . pick your battles, Dapolean!!!
Happy to see Nikki go, she was out of her league, and Fleasa could have at least chopped a couple more tiers outta those cake pan shapes . . . no !?. . .
4 of 11 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 9, 2008 12:15 PM
Lame-arse challenge, only made tolerable by your most excellent and extra-bitchy recap, LoLo.
superb screencaps.
Cutting rails and popping culinary boners -- now there's an image I wish I didn't have...
Was the sea bass the only dish Evangel-arse completed, in all that time?
Plus, I coulda told you bruchetta was entirely the wrong thing to serve at a wedding.
*sigh*
5 of 11 | Posted by Donna Martin Graduates! | Posted on May 10, 2008 10:52 AM
juddfan - for another top chef fan...well...i suppose, but he has a curfew... and i agree, fleasa's cake was a shit show...she needs to go next.
6 of 11 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on May 10, 2008 4:28 PM
Mrsdaddytom, may we both recieve our wishes this week, my only arguement for keeping fleasa is the male to female ratio--I'd like to see a women represent this year, and Yoda just might pull this one out! (but I'd still like to see her not be the only female for weeks!)
7 of 11 | Posted by juddfan | Posted on May 12, 2008 11:28 AM
Well, mrsdaddytom, if you're loaning him out, what about some love for your recapper? ;)
Thanks for the great comments as always, guys. I love your insights and you crack me up as well! I too hope for a female winner and hope Yoda can keep her shit together long enough to take it. She's likeable, talented, and has girly parts. As Michael Scott would say, win-win-win.
Just to give you guys a head's up, the recap may be a little late this week. I have a final tomorrow and I graduate on Saturday, so things around here are a little crazy. However, I'm going to do my best to get the recap posted by late Thursday/early Friday. Thanks for your patience!
Cheers!
LoLo
8 of 11 | Posted by LoLo | Posted on May 12, 2008 11:48 AM
hahahahaha oh now everyone wants a piece of my hubby? but of course there's love for my favorite recapper. and congratulations, by the way! i think your devoted fans can handle waiting a little longer than usual for that very exciting reason.
juddfan--agreed about the female thing, but i don't want a female to win just on the basis of her being female. i'd rather see richard win based on talent (even though he's socially awkward) than fleasa because she's (kind of, barely) female...
listen up, i'm going to have to put up a sign-up sheet, and people can request time slots w/daddy tom. it's the only fair solution, hahahaha.
9 of 11 | Posted by mrsdaddytom | Posted on May 13, 2008 1:14 PM
I love your recap and your photo captions. One quick correction - mayo is made from egg YOLKS and oil, not whites.
10 of 11 | Posted by elanmilo | Posted on May 15, 2008 12:19 PM
Love the recaps and captions. I hope I'm not the first to make this correction, chefs...
Mayo is made from egg yolks and oil, not egg whites.
11 of 11 | Posted by elanmilo | Posted on May 15, 2008 12:21 PM